Excellent composition of thought Emerald!
I have been dwelling on this same topic [in a much more abstract & difficult fashion] but had not given voice to the "label" such as you did. For some reason I started out thinking I was a [dirty little] transvestite -- stayed drunk for fifty years -- sobered up and realized I was really a transsexual. [A late bloomer I guess.]
After beginning HRT and moving towards a more androgynous appearance I began to experience the Kate Bornstein moment -- "I know I'm not a man, but I'm not a woman either..." So I fished around for a more appropriate label [for self definition and actualization] only to discover the true meaning of transgenderist.
But that too failed to embrace exactly and wholly what you so eloquently put into words by your post. So, thank you very much for articulating it for me. [I shall see if I can explore this label a little more and try it on for size.]
Dee Ann