Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Nero]

Good morning everybody.

What are some unique obstacles androgynes face?

With loved ones, with coming out, with day to day life, etc. Any obstacles androgynes face due to their gender identity.



your curious friend,
Nero

[Tay]

1) You generally have to pick a "binary" pronoun and identity for use in the workplace. 

2) If you require surgical or hormonal alteration, you generally have to pay high for black market type stuff or lie like an sob and pretend to be ftm or mtf.  Unless you only figured out the androgyne thing after beginning treatments, that is.  There are some like that.

3) Knowing that you can either "pick one" or be totally open with everyone--there is never any going stealth or just being yourself without any questions.

[Ken/Kendra]

4.) Even if you allow yourself to have mixed gender identity (s) in the public or among friends/family, if you focus on one for certain situations, then you get a reverse judgement. Instead of amazing them with mixed gender, they wonder why you are focusing on one and why its not mixed constantly.

[no_id]

2.2) There is no null-hormone.

5) Androgyny isn't a well-known term, and therefore when/if you do want to explain your gender-identity you will need at least an hour after which the most popular reply you will gain is "I don't get it..."

6) Based on my personal experience; my family-member simply 'brushed it off' when I told her I was Androgyne, and didn't believe it was significant or affecting my life. Thus, I could say; being Androgyne may (on occasion) be seen as an unproblematic gender identity (if even viewed as such).

7) Lack of ability to associate with other genders, and not even fully with other Androgynes (due to the individualistic natures) which can lead to a sense of 'loneliness'.

[Tay]

8 ) The strange argument I've encountered on some message boards where male-bodied androgynes claim that females cannot be androgyne.

[Pica Pica]

understanding what being androgyne actually means is the hardest part, a transsexual can say they are the other sex and even if the extent of this identification or the trouble with deciding on what they will do about it, they know what it means to be male/female. it's harder to understand what it means to be androgyne.

[Tay]

10) Figuring out who and what you are.  There are very few easily available resources for androgynes and it's hard to even find the word unless you know it first.  I came across it by chance.

[Ken/Kendra]

11.) Trying to understand those that limit their gender behavior to just one polar. After experiencing unlimited gender behavior and expressions, only focusing on one is unthinkable to me. Its more like "why?"

12.) In what information that one does find, one must stay grounded in the true self inner voice. Its true of everything, but a few have written posts about getting lost or feeling lost.

[Rebis]

13.  Seeing things that the binaries do not, such as 'gender games' between the binaries.  i don't know about you others, but I always want to kick these people in the groin.  It is so irritating, but I guess it is their nature for the women to pretend to be 'helpless' and the males pretend to lose their stupid pool games on purpose for the sole reason of buying the drinks.  GGGRRRrrrrrrr  aaaaaahhhhhhggggggg!   :'(   :'(   :'(

help me.  I just messed with my own brain!

[Ken/Kendra]

14.) One I have heard more than once is something like "Am I a transsexual that hasnt decided to transition, nor felt the full urge. And am I just holding on the the last threads of my unwanted gender. Or do I embrace both or reject both."

[Tay]

15) Being told by "real" transsexuals and "real" transgendered people that androgyne is a "cop-out" gender identity for people who want the best of both worlds.  That it's the "easy way out."  Bull.

[Laurry]

Several spring to mind, most of which have already been mentioned...understanding it yourself, trying to explain it to others, and the fact that there is no "stealth" mode.

Others...

16)  The fact that transition may start, but it never really ends.  There is no finish line.  You never make it through transition, it is an on-going thing.

17)  Because SRS is generally not something most androgynes seek, (would different plumbing really change how I feel about myself?), it can be hard to explain why one may want to look like the opposite sex yet not be.  "Oh yeah, zie looks like a girl but still has hir winky."

18)  Your guy friends don't believe you when tell them that even though you look and act feminine, that you are not gay.

And a comment about "gender games" (good point Rebis)...I hadn't really thought about it before, but I have really noticed them over the past year.  It really throws a monkey-wrench in the works when one refuses to play them.  They are so ingrained and expected that when they aren't played, "unexpected results may occur".  Then again, the look on the girl's face when the guy beats her at pool 5 games in a row is priceless.  The same thing when the girl refuses to play up the "helpless" angle and the "you're so big and strong" phrase never is uttered...very fun to watch.  These are usually followed by the "He's a jerk" or "She's a lesbian" comments simply because they gender game wasn't played "correctly".

....Laurry

[Tay]

19) When your guy friends decide you're hot, then when you tell them "Look, I'm not a girl, I'm gonna change aspects of myself" they start saying "YOU TURNED ME GAY!!"  So, I guess summed up?  The fact that people show hostility to you for "challenging their sexuality."

[Ken/Kendra]

20.) The path is not laid down in a set path. The way varies from person to person. The results will be different for each individual. The manner may be very different. The definitions may be unique and individual, as well as less defined. The means may be from simple to complex. From a simple realization that one is already there, to a complex body, social, and community (even religious) life changing experience.

21.) Orientation can become a difficult concept to consider. Rather the whole idea of orientation might be thrown out the window, or simplified to an individual basis.

22.) One can fluxuate in their gender identity. Which may range from acceptable and expected to confusion and alarm.

[Nero]

18)  Your guy friends don't believe you when tell them that even though you look and act feminine, that you are not gay.

Thanks for pointing this out. I'm guilty of doing that. Whenever I see a feminine man, my first thought is always 'gay'.
Everyone I know does this as well. And he may not be gay, he may be straight, or he may not even be male.
Thanks to you, I'm going to try to stop placing people automatically into neat little boxes in my head based on appearance and mannerisms.

[Laurry]

[Thanks to you, I'm going to try to stop placing people automatically into neat little boxes in my head based on appearance and mannerisms.

If you figure out how to do this, can you let us know?  It is a part of human nature to want to label things and put them into nice little cubbyholes.  Maybe the best we can do is to understand that our initial label may very well be wrong, and not hold on to it so tightly.

......Laurry

[chillin]

22.) One can fluxuate in their gender identity. Which may range from acceptable and expected to confusion and alarm.

Well, I have had a couple occasions where my people have told me my opinions are from a female perespective and I am a guy. I also had somebody thinking I was a woman online because of the way I wrote things and my opinions on a message board once. I wasn;t trying to even fool anybody to thinking I was female it was just the way I was expressing myself. Once I said as was a guy on that particular board the person that mistaked for being a female was shocked to learn I was a guy.