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Author Topic: How to let a girl down gently?  (Read 2487 times)

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Offline Mr.Rainey

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How to let a girl down gently?
« on: January 21, 2012, 04:48:27 am »
Okay so this girl has a thing for me and wants to sleep with me. I am not attracted to her and I don't really know how to tell her no without making her feel unattractive. She knows I am single so saying I am dating someone is not going to work. Help?

Offline kelly_aus

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Re: How to let a girl down gently?
« Reply #1 on: January 21, 2012, 05:36:38 am »
Just say, No, sorry, I'm not interested..
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Offline AbraCadabra

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Re: How to let a girl down gently?
« Reply #2 on: January 21, 2012, 06:02:30 am »
Some guys say they gay :-) worked EVERY time.

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Offline King Malachite

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Re: How to let a girl down gently?
« Reply #3 on: January 21, 2012, 06:57:11 am »
Just tell her thanks but you would rather not
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Offline Kreuzfidel

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Re: How to let a girl down gently?
« Reply #4 on: January 21, 2012, 06:57:49 am »
I agree with kelly_aus, but if you don't want to be that blunt you could just say you're not looking for a relationship at the moment and you don't believe in casual sex (even if it's a lie).

Offline Da Monkey

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Re: How to let a girl down gently?
« Reply #5 on: January 21, 2012, 07:40:10 am »
Be honest and say you just don't feel that way about her. You can't help you like so therefore you can't help who you don't like.  :-\ You don't have to say you find her unattractive just say you don't feel the connection.

Saying you're 'not ready for a relationship' is probably not a good thing to say because it's an obvious lie (I think it is anyway). Whether you're ready for a relationship or not if you really do like someone you adjust your life and make it work somehow. You don't wanna say that to her and then meet someone in a few weeks and starting dating them, I think either way she'll figure out it's a lie. Same with saying you're gay (unless you actually are).
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Offline Morgan.

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Re: How to let a girl down gently?
« Reply #6 on: January 21, 2012, 08:42:52 am »
I agree with kelly_aus, but if you don't want to be that blunt you could just say you're not looking for a relationship at the moment and you don't believe in casual sex (even if it's a lie).

^ this. Especially the not looking for a relationship part. Puts it simply!
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Offline Lee

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Re: How to let a girl down gently?
« Reply #7 on: January 21, 2012, 01:17:11 pm »
If you are fairly close you could mention that she's like a sister or something along those lines.  I've never had bad reactions with that.
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Offline LivingInGrey

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Re: How to let a girl down gently?
« Reply #8 on: January 21, 2012, 01:25:13 pm »
Wait...

There's a way to let a girl down gently O.O ?

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Re: How to let a girl down gently?
« Reply #9 on: January 21, 2012, 04:22:14 pm »
Okay so this girl has a thing for me and wants to sleep with me. I am not attracted to her and I don't really know how to tell her no without making her feel unattractive. She knows I am single so saying I am dating someone is not going to work. Help?

If you can't politely turn someone down, you're not old enough to be dating.  Simple as that.

Offline Natkat

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Re: How to let a girl down gently?
« Reply #10 on: January 21, 2012, 04:28:55 pm »
just say you dont want to sleep with her, all honest, try avoid details, if she ask future you just say something like "your only a friend" or "your not really my type" or something like that..

she might be angry or sad even if your very sweet, but you got the right to say no and its not your fault if you dont feel the same..

Offline Adio

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Re: How to let a girl down gently?
« Reply #11 on: January 21, 2012, 05:09:57 pm »
If you can't politely turn someone down, you're not old enough to be dating.  Simple as that.

Pretty sure he's early 20s.  A lot of people, including older adults, have difficulty turning down people.  It's not purely an age thing.

@Rainey:  The others have some good suggestions.  I'd probably say something like, "I appreciate the compliment/I'm flattered, but I'm just not interested in you that way."

Offline Sharky

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Re: How to let a girl down gently?
« Reply #12 on: January 21, 2012, 07:04:30 pm »
Tell her you just want to focus on your work, school, whatever.

Offline Mr.Rainey

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Re: How to let a girl down gently?
« Reply #13 on: January 22, 2012, 02:18:06 am »
If you can't politely turn someone down, you're not old enough to be dating.  Simple as that.

Lol I am 22.

I have just never been faced with this situation, most the time girls want a boyfriend and I can truthfully say I don't want to be in a relationship. Casual sex is different because I do like it and it is pretty rare so the few times it has been offered I was up for it. I find it akward to word and it is difficult to let someone down without coming off as mean.

Offline Max

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Re: How to let a girl down gently?
« Reply #14 on: January 22, 2012, 02:25:19 am »
You do not owe anything more than a simple explanation.

As you have clearly said, you are not attracted to her. Try something like, "I am flattered/appreciate the offer, but I will decline because I am not interested in you." Just be polite and truthful.
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Offline Cindy

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Re: How to let a girl down gently?
« Reply #15 on: January 22, 2012, 02:27:21 am »
Lol I am 22.

I have just never been faced with this situation, most the time girls want a boyfriend and I can truthfully say I don't want to be in a relationship. Casual sex is different because I do like it and it is pretty rare so the few times it has been offered I was up for it. I find it akward to word and it is difficult to let someone down without coming off as mean.

I think it would be meaner to build her hopes up of being in a relationship.

There is nothing terrible in telling a person that you like them but you don't want a sexual relationship with them. How will you feel if you have a sexual relationship and then drop her?
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Offline Arch

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Re: How to let a girl down gently?
« Reply #16 on: January 22, 2012, 02:33:38 am »
I don't think Epi was necessarily focusing on chronological age. I know a guy who is pushing seventy who isn't old enough to date. Well, in my opinion.
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Offline Mr.Rainey

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Re: How to let a girl down gently?
« Reply #17 on: January 23, 2012, 01:35:23 am »
I know better than to have sex and leave someone. If I am hooking up I make sure she knows it is just a hookup because I am not a douche waffle.

Offline Cindy

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Re: How to let a girl down gently?
« Reply #18 on: January 23, 2012, 01:50:37 am »
Sorry, I wasn't intending to be rude,  it came out a lot worse than I meant. My apologies

Cindy
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Offline Annah

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Re: How to let a girl down gently?
« Reply #19 on: January 23, 2012, 01:53:08 am »
Okay so this girl has a thing for me and wants to sleep with me. I am not attracted to her and I don't really know how to tell her no without making her feel unattractive. She knows I am single so saying I am dating someone is not going to work. Help?

Just say you aren't interested

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