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[Mia and Marq]

Orginally posted November 6th, 2006


The last couple days I've been wondering what role I'm supposed to play in all this. I've been in a rut since maybe Thursday and it took some thinking and talking to make progress.

And then today, I got what I wanted, recognition. Something so simple and overlooked, but extremely important when you don't have it. And then I was happy. Maybe too happy. Like freak out happy. It felt good, I don't want that to go away. Hold it here. Now. Still.

I brought up some important questions with the main guy in my life and I think we understand each other. He's seeing things my way for once, its nice. I think I'll keep him around for now.

-Mia

[Nero]

Hello Mia.

May I ask a few questions?
How did you come to realize that you and Marq were cohabiting in the same body?
When did you realize this? Was it recent, or have you known for a very long time?
Also, did you go through the same kind of process as a transsexual - denial, acceptance, etc.?

Nero

[Mia and Marq]

For as far back as I can remember, I've been here. Its just very difficult to convince someone that they're not the only one inside the body when all conventional wisdom would lean towards one soul to each body. Also its not been any easier for me either. I've always been here but that doesn't mean I understood why I was in a male body as once again this isn't something we were taught. I was able to express myself as much as I wanted over the years though probably from his standpoint he just thought he was weird.

I wouldn't go so far as say I've been decieving him or anything because that would be inaccurate. I was still trying to make sense of things as much as him. You just feel what you feel and you learn to deal with the feelings.

It wasn't until recently (back in late october) that we kind of locked in on what our situation was. It was brought about by a desire to finally put the pieces together. At that point most of the little quirks in our life suddenly made sense. Apparently all these years I was trying to get noticed by making us "cross-dress" (its not really cross-dressing if you're a girl right), develop my own style seperate from Marq, manifest my social graces where people would not be offset by physical appeareance(Chat rooms and online games) and from his standpoint he was just strange. It was a result of all of these things that caused the need to make sense of all the pieces which in turn got me recognized. I guess I knew what I had to do all along.

I'm not sure how much of the same process that transsexuals experience I may have experienced because I managed to express myself our entire life in some form or another and so I never really got stressed about the situation. If anything Marq may have been in denial about being a crossdresser because the feeling would come and go but he ended up not being responsible for that so its well placed denial. Now acceptance did occur in october when we finally clicked it all together. Admittedly I didn't know I even needed a name, but now that I've got recognition finally we can so much better deal with the world around us.

Thank you for your questions Nero. I very much enjoyed answering them. Throw any more you have my way or our way if appropriate.

-Mia