Topic: How to tell if you are transsexual...

[Sandy]

I'm sure this thought has occurred to just about everyone.  "I know I *feel* like a woman, but how can I *tell*?"

I'm also sure that the answer has occurred to anyone who has spent any time with an electrologist!

I'm proceeding on with my facial clearing and I am having regular sessions with my electrologist.  Fortunately I'm blessed with little facial hair so the amount of time I'll spend getting my face cleared is not all that great.  Something on the order of 10 to 20 hours, which is much less than other girls in a similar position.

But still as I lay on the table this last week, and have each hair zapped and the resultant sting that goes with it, and there will be literally thousands of those stings, I realized that no one would do this for *fun*!  Also this is not vanity.  At least not from the standpoint of wanting to make myself more beautiful.  It is to help re-enforce my image as a woman.

There are others who have asked "How can I tell?" as they embark on their journey.  All I can say is that if you are willing, and in many cases eager, to put yourself through the discomfort that comes with feminizing your body, then you are trans.

Spend an hour in the chair sometime, and if you not only can endure it but want to come back for more, then you are a transsexual.

I don't know if there are similar issues with FTM transsexuals.  Can any of you guys tell us what there might be on your road that might help give an idea as to how to tell?

-Sandy

[Dennis]

Can't think of anything. There's nothing that's been particularly painful or difficult for me. Chest surgery is a cakewalk compared to what electrolysis sounds like.

I guess for me it was just that when I was at the point where I was prepared to lose everything, job, family, friends, marriage, to proceed, I knew it was right for me.

Dennis

[tinkerbell]

From the perspective of a MTF: If a person's core identity is female (regardless of her genitals) and she needs to make her body congruent with her gender and live as her true gender 24/7/365 forever and ever (no exceptions, no buts, not excuses, no agendas, no silly/petty reasons unless there is a medical condition that prevents her from doing so) then that person is transsexual.


tink

[Wendy Kahr]

I'm sure this thought has occurred to just about everyone.  "I know I *feel* like a woman, but how can I *tell*?"...

There are others who have asked "How can I tell?" as they embark on their journey.  All I can say is that if you are willing, and in many cases eager, to put yourself through the discomfort that comes with feminizing your body, then you are trans.

Spend an hour in the chair sometime, and if you not only can endure it but want to come back for more, then you are a transsexual....

-Sandy

Sorry Sandy, I have to disagree.

Unfortunately, there are simply a lot of stubborn, stupid people out there.

By stupid, I don't at all mean not smart - Some people are smart enough to make a lot of money and/or be in powerful postions with a lot of responsibilities. I mean stupid when it comes to their own personal lives.

Enduring a lot of pain and expense in pursuit of an ultimate goal just proves that someone is very determined.

Lynn Conway even has an SRS Warning Page on her site:

http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/TS/Warning.html

----

A WARNING FOR THOSE CONSIDERING MtF SRS:
 
What if you "succeed" in completing a TS transition,

but did it for the wrong reasons?

----

[Sandy]

Sorry Sandy, I have to disagree.

Unfortunately, there are simply a lot of stubborn, stupid people out there.

By stupid, I don't at all mean not smart - Some people are smart enough to make a lot of money and/or be in powerful postions with a lot of responsibilities. I mean stupid when it comes to their own personal lives.

Enduring a lot of pain and expense in pursuit of an ultimate goal just proves that someone is very determined.

Lynn Conway even has an SRS Warning Page on her site:

http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/TS/Warning.html

Actually, Wendy, the post was a bit tongue-in-cheek.  It has struck me, especially while I'm in the chair, that those who are bigoted against the trans community have no idea what drives us.  And that if they knew of the determination that was required to transition then perhaps they would think differently.  A kind of walk-a-mile-in-my-shoes, post.  Or "YOU do an hour in the chair then tell me that we do this for FUN!"

And yes, determination is hardly a true yardstick of transgenderism.  But really, the only person who can say that they are trans is the trans person themselves.  There is no true objective test that can be performed.  If there were, then we wouldn't need WPATH.  We could just go and get tested and then sign up for the surgery.  Would that make life a whole lot easier?

I have had no concerns about having done the right thing.  My transition is nearly over and my life has been nothing if not joyous ever since.  No regrets, no second thoughts, no looking back.

-Sandy (mount, thrust, penetrate???  eeeeewwww!!!)

[TheBattler]

Phew - I am glad it was tongue-in-cheek.

There are others who have asked "How can I tell?" as they embark on their journey.  All I can say is that if you are willing, and in many cases eager, to put yourself through the discomfort that comes with feminizing your body, then you are trans.

At this stage it is my only way out of derpession. If there where pills to turn me into a happy male - I would still prefer to start them rather then the HRT in 3 weeks - I am worried about my furture. OK - Alice can not wait for the HRT to start - Alan is a scared person.

I guess in the end I am saying is that I do not want to go through that pain - but it is my destiny.

Alice

[Wendy Kahr]

Actually, Wendy, the post was a bit tongue-in-cheek.  It has struck me, especially while I'm in the chair, that those who are bigoted against the trans community have no idea what drives us.  And that if they knew of the determination that was required to transition then perhaps they would think differently.  A kind of walk-a-mile-in-my-shoes, post.  Or "YOU do an hour in the chair then tell me that we do this for FUN!"

And yes, determination is hardly a true yardstick of transgenderism.  But really, the only person who can say that they are trans is the trans person themselves.  There is no true objective test that can be performed.  If there were, then we wouldn't need WPATH.  We could just go and get tested and then sign up for the surgery.  Would that make life a whole lot easier?

I have had no concerns about having done the right thing.  My transition is nearly over and my life has been nothing if not joyous ever since.  No regrets, no second thoughts, no looking back.

-Sandy (mount, thrust, penetrate???  eeeeewwww!!!)

http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/TS/Warning.html

I think that "SRS Warning Page" should be required reading for all Male to Female TSs considering GRS/SRS.

Reading that page on Lynn Conway's site helped me realize that I'd be better off doing the Hormones, FFS and Social "TG Transition" thing, and skipping the GRS/SRS.

Maybe someone would have to be kinda wierd to do that (permanently stuck in between genders) but it seems to suit me. And for those who know me, they all know me as being kinda wierd anyway...

I will need to get an orchiectomy eventually though if I don't stop taking hormones - I understand that the Spiro is hard on the liver and kindeys over time - and I do notice I get leg cramps at night sometimes (am trying to drink more water, as I assume it's the Spiro causing the Potassium to go too high) though blood work so far (every month) is coming out ok...

Also, I went to Dr Christine Mcginn's web site at http://drchristinemcginn.homestead.com/ a few days ago -
What an interesting TS Woman! A very bright Doctor / Surgeon and also a very good looking woman...

I sent her a message regarding an Orchiectomy. Also information regarding FFS (Her Standard Pricing has a note on the bottom "FFS: consulation requied")

I did not get a response back from her yet.

[Sandy]

Reading that page on Lynn Conway's site helped me realize that I'd be better off doing the Hormones, FFS and Social "TG Transition" thing, and skipping the GRS/SRS.

Maybe someone would have to be kinda wierd to do that (permanently stuck in between genders) but it seems to suit me. And for those who know me, they all know me as being kinda wierd anyway...

Also, I went to Dr Christine Mcginn's web site at http://drchristinemcginn.homestead.com/ a few days ago -
What an interesting TS Woman! A very bright Doctor / Surgeon and also a very good looking woman...

Wendy:

I've had both therapists and surgeons say that you should spend you money "above the waist" first.  I can attest that it certainly has the biggest impact!  You become a female in society and that will affect every part of your life, with the exception of certain documentation such as your birth certificate or SSA information as they would continue to be list you with your birth gender.

GRS will do nothing to affect your standing in society on a day to day or person to person stance.  But it does have everything to do with your internal identification as a woman.

Many trans people are non-op for various reasons.  But in no way does it invalidate your internal feelings or identity.

There are many paths on this road and not all of them end up at the same place.  It doesn't matter.  What matters is making yourself comfortable with who you are!

Enjoy the trip, girl!

-Sandy

[Wendy Kahr]

Sandy -

Thank you for the wonderful comments.

I agree with the "above the waist first surgery" advice for people like us. It's obvious to me (from comments made about TGs/TSs by others before I came out at work) that attractiveness and being physically passable goes a long way towards being taken seriously and being accepted.

The only exception to that would be the young transitioners (teens to early 20's) where the orchi stops masculine progress and the GRS/SRS allows them to get started with a female work history. Most all in that age group have still got a somewhat boyish face (and a thick full head of hair that grows like wildfire) and what masculine brow and jaw characteristics are there can be worked on later.
 
By the way, I have your FFS article "You are NOT prepared" - parts 1, 2 and 3 printed out along with your post-op photos and in my FFS folder along with the FFS Doctors information. Thanks for all of that work in passing on your experience. I hope to have a better experience (with post-op pain) than you, but that's the most detailed account I have ever read about the downside of post-op FFS recovery, and it is important to be prepared. So I thank you again very much for that useful information.

(By the way again, I will be going up to the Chicago area again for a FFS consult with Dr Konior (http://www.thenewyoudoc.com) Thursday the 31st of January. Not that I don't like Dr Z - if I had the $$$ I'd be scheduling the FFS with Dr Z today, but I do need to check out other options that may work better for me.)

I want to wish you the best with your surgery with Dr. Christine McGinn !