For me it was an inside thing.
From the age of three when I remember my mom dressing me in little dresses and I had long hair; back in those days it was common for a mom to do that with her boy. But the thing is that I remembered that, never forget it.
When I began school, of course the hair got cut off but it still didn't make me different in my preferring playing house and dress up with the girl next door.
I have always been a sensitive kid and didn't get along with other boys. Well, even after I grew up I would play act being a girl in the privacy of my home when no one was around. I played a lot of fantasy games back then and was proficient at them as well.
When I was 47 I was suicidal. It felt to me like I was being possessed by demons to the point it was either die or seek help. Back then I didn't know about transexuality and that there actually were therapists and shrinks that you could go see. I ended up going to speak to the clergy lady of the Anglican church where I was working as a support worker for street people. I was so scared and it was such a relief after I got it all off my chest and she didnt condemn me to eternity in hell. She assured me that everything was OK and she recommended I talk about it to my shrink.
I did and now here it is 10 years later I am sitting here comfortable to be congruent between my inner self and body, to be as female as science can help me to be. I am woman in every sense of the word. I suffered long enough and fought long enough to deserve to be who I am. You see, it's got nothing to do with the physical body or the DNA, XY or anything else. It is what you believe yourself to be in your mind, yes, the mind, like in the brain.
Cindy Posted on: May 04, 2008, 06:35:57 PM
Hi Tink, you summed it up in two and a half sentences to my nearly a flippin page long. Well anyway that were my feelings on it.