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Author Topic: Bigender question?  (Read 3680 times)

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Offline Kendall

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Bigender question?
« on: November 11, 2006, 01:18:55 am »
What would you say from your experience is the difference between a crossdresser and a Bigendered Androgyne?

I know one could be both, but I was looking for a deeper definition and what ways they may differ.

Offline Jillieann Rose

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Re: Bigender question?
« Reply #1 on: November 11, 2006, 01:35:41 am »
Good question Ken/Kenda. Oh, I'm cross dress right now.
If I understand right a pure "cross dresser" if there is such a creature is occasionally feels the need or compulsion to dress as the opposite sex.  After cross-dressing they are able to go back to be just being the gender they were born as until the urge strikes them again.
A Bigender like me (both ends) has both all of the time. That is I have both a male and female personality all of the time. Sometime one is in control some times the other.
Anyway that is how it is for me.
 :) :)
Jillieann/JR

Offline Mia and Marq

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Re: Bigender question?
« Reply #2 on: November 11, 2006, 06:20:52 am »
Oh I love answering questions!! <Claps hands> Glee!!!

I personally misinterpretted myself as a cross-dresser as I was growing up because I didn't understand why I felt the urges to do so. I love metaphors, <check out my gender model sometime in the general forum section> so let me try one here. I like eating italian food for example, and every time I went to eat italian afterwards I would get sick. Since I didn't know better, I just thought I was eatting too fast and having trouble digesting. Well when my symptoms were later identified as being Lactose Intolerant, that made more sense. The sickness was coordinated with eatting lactose based cheeses and sauces.

So in a similar fashion, if no one tells you the term bi-gendered, you wouldn't likely come to the conclusion yourself unless you sat down and seriously tried to put the pieces together. So when I felt the urge to crossdress, I thought ok I've seen and heard of people crossdressing, thats what I must be. The answer doesn't fit perfectly because the urges were quite inconsistant and to verying degrees. Later on when my identity was put into question because of new information, I started to research other possibilities. Could I want to be a girl deep down, is that what I really would be happy with. So I (am getting off topic, I'll steer back in a second) took the opportunity to assess myself and came to the conclusion I was absolutely bi-gendered, coming to the conclusion on my own without having actually found the bi-gendered term. When I found it and it matched, I was like "oh thats....me....cool I'm bigendered!")

<rambling and back!>
So I came to the conclusion that I was crossdressing not because I genuinely felt thats what I was, it was instead that the side that I wasn't acknowledging was overcompensating for this lack of attention by attempting to provide undeniable evidence I was different hoping I would one day question who I was deeper down. After I recognized her, at worse so far I've dressed androgynous  but haven't crossdressed anymore. Did I get get bored with it? No, there was no reason for me to put that obvious hint out there any more since I knew why I did it before at last.

Does this apply to everybody though. No, not even close. Crossdressing in all its forms is extremely fun. I won't stop coming up with awesome halloween costumes that challenge the norm but I don't feel the reason I did it in normal situations applies anymore. It still is lots of fun and I imagine that crossdressers the world over love doing it.

Let me sum up my post of nothing relevant. The difference between a natural crossdresser, once again, doing it just for the fun of it, and a Bi-gendered androgyne that does crossdressing is that the bi-gendered androgyne....you know after all that, their reasons could be the same.

<sigh> I thought I had something to add.

Well I guess bi-gendered people differ from Crossdressers in one way I can identify concerning the topic of crossdressing(Mind you bi-gendered people are quite complex, but your questions imply talking about just the crossdressing issue). Bi-gendered people may not want to or need to crossdress at all, while due to the nature of their title, a crossdresser crossdresses. (Wow that was deep) <sigh>

Ending it now before I yap any longer. You're thinking, what was that mess, did they hit their keyboard with their head over and over again until the post was completed. Yeah, I did. I like ponies!

-Us

PS. The I like ponies phrase is an inside joke you're all now part of. I use that phrase whenever I want to stop rambling. I ramble like nothing you've ever seen. I've done this at job interviews when I answered a question with too much detail(stress related perhaps) or when I get too excited(like answering a question on here)(I mean I clapped my hands together and said in a high pitched squeal "Glee!", I'd say that shows enthusiasm.) I like ponies!
Being given the gift of two-spirits meant that this individual had the ability to see the world from two perspectives at the same time. This greater vision was a gift to be shared, and as such, Two-spirited beings were revered as leaders, mediators, teachers, artists, seers, and spiritual guides

Offline Laurry

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Re: Bigender question?
« Reply #3 on: November 11, 2006, 07:22:16 am »
The way I understand things, Jillieann/JR is correct.  A crossdresser is a person who feels a need to dress in clothing of the opposite sex.  This need may be an occassional thing, or it may be a compulsion.  They still retain the mindset of their birth sex, i.e. a crossdressing male would still think and act as a male.  Not sure, but I would think that even though they may wear some article(s) of clothing, such as undies, under their "regular" clothes, they do probably don't have the need to "feminize" the way an Androgyne might (longer hair, nails, mixed gender clothing).

This is mostly supposition on my part, as I am can't speak from the position of a "crossdresser".  We may have to go recruit some folks from that board to speak from their own experiences.

........Laurie
Ya put your right foot in.  You put your right foot out.  You put your right foot in and you shake it all about.  You do the Andro-gyney and you turn yourself around.  That's what it's all about.

Casey

Re: Bigender question?
« Reply #4 on: November 11, 2006, 09:11:42 pm »
One of the big things I've noticed is that crossdressers tend to say "this is something I do" while androgynes tend to say "this is something I am". Although the crossdresser may be expressing a feminine side of himself (sorry, I can really only compare men since that's what I know) it seems that his crossdressing is very much the same as if he put on a cowboy hat and denim jacket and hung out at the country-style bar. To extend that analogy, he may dream about living in the country but he's happiest living in the city. He just wants to visit the ranch, not live there. The transsexual needs to become an honest to goodness cowboy, while androgynes love the suburbs.

Jilleann/JR used what I think is the perfect word: personality. Androgynes have a male and female pesonality while crossdressers tend to have male and female traits. OK, I'm not sure that came out quite right. Androgynes and crossdressers have similar yet different cores. The concept of the self is slightly different but that difference is the key.

Hazumu

Re: Bigender question?
« Reply #5 on: November 13, 2006, 12:23:53 am »
This is an interesting topic, although I was mis-led by the title.

<TOPIC_HIJACK>
At first, I thought it had to to with big-ender, as in Bigendian

Then, I figured out the word was bi-Gender
</TOPIC_HIJACK>

Karen (sticking her oar in the water unmindful of where it sends the boat)

Offline Laurry

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Re: Bigender question?
« Reply #6 on: November 13, 2006, 05:00:21 am »
Karen,

Quit playing with your oar...you'll go blind!

When I first looked at the WIKI entry, reading about how numbers are stored in computers, the thought that went through my mind was "And I thought I was a geek", but further reading gave the true meaning of your comment and also revealed a subtle truth.

You are trying to start a war...Shame on you...Who cares how I open my eggs?....LOL

As I was thinking up additional comments to give you a hard time with, a thought went through my mind, and an interesting analogy presented itself.  (I was amazed...it took me a few minutes to recognize what was happening, and a few more to realize it was a "thought", though what it was doing in my mind still puzzles me.)

In the Big-Enders vs. the Little-Enders discussion, everyone had a deep-seated preferrence they believed was the "only way" to open an egg.  What about those who felt the egg should be opened in the center?  If the -enders could be said to be Male and Female (I'll let y'all argue about which is which), then the "Middle-Enders" would be the Androgynes.  All Hail the Middle End!!!

.....Laurie

 

Ya put your right foot in.  You put your right foot out.  You put your right foot in and you shake it all about.  You do the Andro-gyney and you turn yourself around.  That's what it's all about.

Offline Mia and Marq

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Re: Bigender question?
« Reply #7 on: November 13, 2006, 05:36:28 am »
And where do the people fall that like to "open" eggs by smashing them against cars passing on the freeway. I'm not saying I fall into this category but you know it doesn't hurt to open up the questioning. I'm mostly kidding though, I don't know too many people like that.

-Us
Don't throw thems eggs at me!
Being given the gift of two-spirits meant that this individual had the ability to see the world from two perspectives at the same time. This greater vision was a gift to be shared, and as such, Two-spirited beings were revered as leaders, mediators, teachers, artists, seers, and spiritual guides

TheBattler

Re: Bigender question?
« Reply #8 on: November 13, 2006, 05:51:25 am »
This is a very interesting subject - the diffence between the two.

I think when we all start out we start out thinking we are cross-dressers - not knowing anything different. So when does our thinking change to say we are Bi (Trans) gender.

For me - I am transgender (person) hence I crossdress (action).

I still get those urgers to crossdress - they have manly died down. They have many died down because I crossdress regularly - it is such a part of my life like most females - ie I act as both the male and female gender.

I wish I could get rid of this TG (and the depression) and go back to the "normal" person I was before this blew up in my face  -  I am affraid to stop crossdressing as I remember the mental preasure it put on myself - that constance wishing I was female so I could dress as I please. I have gained so much support coming out in these last months there is no reason to go back. I can just be me knowing everyone understands.

So now it is just easier to say I am transgender. Sounds a lot more nicer then a crossdressor.

Alice

Offline Laurry

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Re: Bigender question?
« Reply #9 on: November 13, 2006, 07:33:58 pm »
So now it is just easier to say I am transgender. Sounds a lot more nicer then a crossdressor.

Yes, I agree, but it is sad that the connotations of the term "cross dresser" lead the average person to think badly about someone who has the courage to proclaim that they are one.  Just goes to show how much work we have to do in educating the public and effecting positive change on society.

....Laurie

Ya put your right foot in.  You put your right foot out.  You put your right foot in and you shake it all about.  You do the Andro-gyney and you turn yourself around.  That's what it's all about.

Offline Lyric

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Re: Bigender question?
« Reply #10 on: December 16, 2006, 02:05:07 pm »
Consider this concept: Everyone (including "crossdressers/bidgenderists/etc) is the same person all of the time. We're also different people to suit the occasion. A woman can be a reverent matron at church, a harried babysitter, or a lusty lover-- depending on occasion and context. The way we dress has much to do with the role we're playing at the moment. I feel I'm both man and woman, to degrees all of the time, but I feel much more one than the other depending upon context, mood, and the way I'm dressed at the moment. It's such an issue to people is because it's socially unusual for a "man" to wear certain types of clothing. And more so, it's an issue internally for most male crossdressers/bigenderists. Many of us have a problem dealing with the duality thing so we hassle ourselves. I say forget the deep analysis and enjoy yourself.
"Dress your personality not your age." - Ginger Burr, stylist

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