Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: Mina_Frostfall on December 18, 2008, 07:15:28 PM

Title: Lonely... I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend...
Post by: Mina_Frostfall on December 18, 2008, 07:15:28 PM
I've been thinking and what I've realized is that I need a boyfriend or girlfriend. I don't know which one I want, but really need someone. I want a serious relationship. I want someone to care about and that will care about me. Problem is, I don't think that it is attainable considering the way that I am. I don't want to be seen as a man by them. I especially don't want to be treated like one. I want someone to take ME out on a date. I want them to hold me. But I don't think that I'll ever be able to find someone as I am now...  :'(
Title: Re: Lonely... I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend...
Post by: CypherEnigma on December 18, 2008, 07:41:51 PM
Just speaking from personal experience,
Guys rock my world ^.^
Haven't had a serious boyfriend in a long time(probably for the better) but I will say that the whole "being taken out" as opposed to "taking out someone" is so much nicer! I went with another guy at my school to prom when I used to identify more as a "gay male"(boy was I off). I didn't get to wear a dress like all the other girls *ENVY* but it was fantastic! Never went farther than that night(or even farther than the dance floor really).
I know the feeling though, and although I haven't had luck myself, I'm certain that you'll find someone. Moreover I'm sure that someone will love you for who you are now.
Your Sister in Lovesick-ness-icity,
Sarrah
Title: Re: Lonely... I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend...
Post by: Janet_Girl on December 18, 2008, 07:44:12 PM
Sister I hear you.  Many here will say to wait.  They will tell you that transition is about you and to use the time to learn about you.  But that is really hard when you have that need to have someone special in your life.

I also want and need that special person, but I am going at it really, really, really slow.  First I need them to understand about GID and that it isn't something that is horrible.  And then that they have to treat me as a woman, not a sexual plaything.  But meeting people requires money to go out.  And I am recovering from being scammed by a guy on-line.

I wish you good luck in finding that certain someone.

Janet


Title: Re: Lonely... I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend...
Post by: Vexing on December 18, 2008, 08:21:34 PM
Do you mind telling us how old you are?
I'm assuming that you are quite young, so the way you feel is pretty normal, even for non-trans people.
If anyone is interested in you, or think you could potentially be interested in someone, ask them out on a date.
I don't think this is something that you will figure out until you actually date people.
I didn't start my first serious relationship until I was 22.
These things take time.
Title: Re: Lonely... I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend...
Post by: Mina_Frostfall on December 18, 2008, 09:42:34 PM
I'm 20 right now. I only turned 20 in October.
Title: Re: Lonely... I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend...
Post by: Kaitlyn on December 18, 2008, 11:49:52 PM
Quote from: Aelita Lynn on December 18, 2008, 07:15:28 PM
I've been thinking and what I've realized is that I need a boyfriend or girlfriend. I don't know which one I want, but really need someone. I want a serious relationship. I want someone to care about and that will care about me. Problem is, I don't think that it is attainable considering the way that I am. I don't want to be seen as a man by them. I especially don't want to be treated like one. I want someone to take ME out on a date. I want them to hold me. But I don't think that I'll ever be able to find someone as I am now...  :'(

*hugs Aelita*

It's pretty rough, innit?  Wanting those simple things that other people take for granted?  I'd come in here to say something cheerful & supportive, but... I ache for exactly the same thing.    I want someone's arms around me, their loving presence at my back.  I want to been seen and loved for who I am, but I've never had that special someone... I've never been held close like that.  That cold void cuts me like a razor every night, when I'm alone with my thoughts. :'(

I'm sorry if I've made you ever sadder...
Title: Re: Lonely... I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend...
Post by: Janet_Girl on December 18, 2008, 11:55:45 PM
Quote from: Vexing on December 18, 2008, 08:21:34 PM
Do you mind telling us how old you are?
I'm assuming that you are quite young, so the way you feel is pretty normal, even for non-trans people.
If anyone is interested in you, or think you could potentially be interested in someone, ask them out on a date.
I don't think this is something that you will figure out until you actually date people.
I didn't start my first serious relationship until I was 22.
These things take time.

So tell me, Vexing.  What about an old broad like myself?  I want the same thing.  And the is one guy, but I have never said anything.  but I don't think that he would be open to a relationship.  Especially with a T-Girl.


Janet

Title: Re: Lonely... I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend...
Post by: Fox on December 19, 2008, 12:10:23 AM
The part of me that is logical and cynical doesn't believe ill ever find anyone and doesn't want to ever get married because ive seen so many of them end in divorce. Im 25 and had fewer relationships than I can count on one hand. Im still single and lonely as is my usual.

However while the logical part of me doesn't believe in love at first sight and soulmates. In my heart im just another hopeless romantic who has read to many fantasy books. Despite ever thing I believe I still keep hoping to just meet some nice guy someday and have everything click
Title: Re: Lonely... I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend...
Post by: Nero on December 19, 2008, 12:21:03 AM
Love is overrated.
Title: Re: Lonely... I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend...
Post by: CypherEnigma on December 19, 2008, 12:44:39 AM
Part of me wants to believe that I'm not missing anything out there with all the happy couples etc. But I know that love is such a powerful emotion and has been responsible for some of the most emotionally devastating moments I've had in my short little life, so I'd like to think that if the intensity of my previous experiences could put towards positive emotions. I think I must have missed the boarding call for the love boat because it seems like a lot of the other people I know have gotten a lot closer to love than I could possible dream of.
Hooray for Hopeless Romantics!
Title: Re: Lonely... I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend...
Post by: Godot on December 19, 2008, 01:27:22 AM
I've given up on relationships. The want for a relationship got too much so I just repressed the feelings of wanting one. I doubt anyone's going to want to date a transman that doesn't look all that male and doesn't plan on getting surgery or hormones. Oh well..Love sucks
Title: Re: Lonely... I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend...
Post by: Sophie90 on December 19, 2008, 03:04:57 AM
I've never had a relationship, seems like an awful lot of hassle and drama to me. And I don't see what good can come of them.
But it would still be nice to see what all the fuss is about, if a nice young man could show me... lol.
Title: Re: Lonely... I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend...
Post by: postoplesbian on December 19, 2008, 05:59:09 AM
"I have these needs, but beyond that, I want to fill those needs for someone else." 


Yes i would love to find another like me MTF or FTM who loves themselves. Someone to please and be pleased and share the simple things in life. Like our cooking or firewood chopping HINT HINT  ::)

Transitioning is longgggggggg doneeeeeeeeee  and i am a country gal living on a farm and open to moving to another farm or some mountain top region and live a simple life filled with doing daily things to survive.

My only downfall is i need to do hard work.. Otherwise i get depressed. I love working hard but also love to take a break for a few months too.

Oh i am into my second 50 yrs cronologically speaking but mentally as a 10 yr post op still single waiting for true love i am like a teen with tons of energy and desires to play in the woods and in the country and in a haystack OH MY  >:-) 

But alas i may be just a spirit in a shell working for above and trying to hear and be guided by above.

I have had only 3 relationships in my life. One for around 7 months but it was mostly give and another two for 1 months and they were not mature but i now have 2 kids who are almost all grown up.

Oh well back to helping and its time to go feed the cows  ;D
Title: Re: Lonely... I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend...
Post by: tekla on December 19, 2008, 08:06:12 AM
The great American philosopher of love, Jacqueline Susan, in her great dissertation on the subject, The Valley of the Dolls, says (and she says it like three or four times in the book, just to make sure you get it) that in any relationship 'there is one who loves, and one who is loved.' and I'm not so sure she is all that wrong about that.
Title: Re: Lonely... I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend...
Post by: postoplesbian on December 19, 2008, 08:13:38 AM
Quote from: tekla on December 19, 2008, 08:06:12 AM
The great American philosopher of love, Jacqueline Susan, in her great dissertation on the subject, The Valley of the Dolls, says (and she says it like three or four times in the book, just to make sure you get it) that in any relationship 'there is one who loves, and one who is loved.' and I'm not so sure she is all that wrong about that.

If that is love i'll stay single.... sheesh who wants to be in a relationship where one gets the love and the other gives it .. sounds abusive to me..
Title: Re: Lonely... I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend...
Post by: tekla on December 19, 2008, 08:19:26 AM
Funny, I don't think it is, nor do I think that's what Miss Susan was trying to say.  It's the balance in the universe I think that some make and some take, that some give and other receive - it's the 'we both love each other equally' that is the myth.
Title: Re: Lonely... I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend...
Post by: postoplesbian on December 19, 2008, 08:23:07 AM
Quote from: tekla on December 19, 2008, 08:19:26 AM
Funny, I don't think it is, nor do I think that's what Miss Susan was trying to say.  It's the balance in the universe I think that some make and some take, that some give and other receive - it's the 'we both love each other equally' that is the myth.

Well i know many people in relationships who give equally. Maybe one gives more in one area and the other gives more in another area but anything less than that is abusive love and no healthy couple would want to be there
Title: Re: Lonely... I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend...
Post by: tekla on December 19, 2008, 08:35:10 AM
Reminds me of a friend who told me, "Hey, those two are a real happy couple now" - which was weird, they always used to fight - so I asked how and he said 'they broke up." 

But why, or better yet, how, is it abusive if it meets both people's needs? 

I mean, I used to think she was just full of it, and wrote that to like fill out the page, at least when I read it in high school, but in the couple of times I've read it since that keeps on leaping out at me - like I said, she writes it a few times - I've come to see that she might well be on to something.  That real solid relationships don't work because both people are giving and getting equal amounts, but rather because each person is getting and giving what they want to get and give.  Which in some areas is nothing, and other areas, everything.
Title: Re: Lonely... I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend...
Post by: tekla on December 19, 2008, 08:38:40 AM
More like the Commie Manifesto of Relationships, from each according to their ability and to each according to their needs.
Title: Re: Lonely... I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend...
Post by: postoplesbian on December 19, 2008, 08:41:12 AM
Ditto it has to be ""at least cyclical give and take"", because if it was all give on one side  and all take on the other it would be totally abusive and well maybe only in a christian marriage where she secumbs to his every whim might that go on but even there pastors wives have murdered abusive husbands.
Title: Re: Lonely... I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend...
Post by: Kate on December 19, 2008, 08:44:28 AM
Quote from: tekla on December 19, 2008, 08:35:10 AM
That real solid relationships don't work because both people are giving and getting equal amounts, but rather because each person is getting and giving what they want to get and give.  Which in some areas is nothing, and other areas, everything.

Yup! Although I don't know how to define "work" really. But in terms of gluing a relationship together, it seems to depend on both partners reflecting back what (illusions, dreams, hopes, fears) the other wants reflected back... whether that's good OR bad. Some people want to feel beautiful. Others seem to want their own shame and self-doubt reinforced.

~Kate~
Title: Re: Lonely... I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend...
Post by: tekla on December 19, 2008, 11:39:21 AM
I'm not sure what's more sad, that you've never had that for yourself or that you don't even think it's possible.

I doubt either, or neither.  Matter of fact, they have been pretty stable, 6 years (highschool and a few after), 20+ (with kids), and now going on 8 years.

It's always seemed to me that people who go into such things with reasonable expectations and modest goals do much better than that entire romantic deal, if only, because the end, life ain't all that romantic, and when the crap hits the fan, when things get hard, when its not working out perfect, all that romance does not hold up.  In relationships romance is just the decoration, both people having their needs met is the bedrock.  Because having your needs met is what gets you through all those hard times, because your needs are still there, even when it ain't going to be a kind day, or month, or even year, for romance.

And, I think it comes out just the opposite of what PL is saying, because I'm pretty sure that when she thinks of 'abuse' here, its the one who loves being abused by the one who is loved, and I think that the second position is a lot harder than the first - which is a huge subplot of VotD.  Especially since VofD, written when it was (its a proto-feminist novel in a way) is about a women getting to that point, which traditionally had been a male role.  Women love, men are loved in the traditional sense, and it takes a long time, lots of drugs, and a few hundred pages, for her to find out that she is worthy enough to be that person even though she is a woman - and since she can't make that work, its back to the Dolls.

Nor do I think that Miss Susan thought of that as an all one way deal, but on a need by need basis.  One who give stability, one who receives it - who needs and craves it really, but had a hard time producing it on their own.  One who gives protection, one who is protected.  One who creates excitement, one who wants it.  (Which is a prime reason that good girls like bad boys so much, and vice-versa.)

And most of those are pretty much one way streets too.  Are you the protector, or the protected.  You can't exactly rotate that.  Largely because these qualities are attributes, not chores.

So, good relationships seem based not on a notion of equality, but more on the concept of a working partnership.  And, though the intent is to divide things up more or less even throughout the project or whatever, the day to day, minute by minute stuff is hardly ever 'equal' at first glance.  Nor should it be.  In a bookstore, if one person is doing the books (business/bookkeeping) and the other is moving the books (both physically and as merch) it makes sense to have the person who is good with numbers do the first and the 'people person' do the second.  Though, the two jobs are not equal.  But you need both to get the common goal or need met.  So its a marriage of convenience more than of equals.  They both need each other, in the other being there their ability to achieve their goals are met, one can not really function for long with out the other in fact.  What good is the accounting if you ain't selling?  What good is selling if you don't make the money?  What good is even trying to sell if no orders have been placed and there is nothing to sell?

I've always felt there are three different kinds of human lovetype relationships, Similar, Different, and Doomed.  Some people are just so much like each other that the cuteness factor alone could kill you.  Others, well, as the old saying goes - Opposites attract.  And, in the long run, it seems to me that the opposites work the best.  The similar deal it gets to hard to do what I said above, to complement each other, to give when the other needs, or to receive when the other is giving.  Its far too easy for both to wind up in the same place, needing the same things, and being unable to produce them.  I think its a lot harder for people who are natural opposites to get stuck like that.

I also think that in the dance of the opposites that each party is playing to their strengths most of the time.  And, its harder to derail that in the other also because its part of their core strength.  With people of a similar bent, it seems too easy for both to begin to focus on the weakness, and get mired in that.

Doomed, well, seems most are.  Just the way it is.  Some people push it to the limit. The entire "What?  Your dating another actress/stripper?  And that's going to work out different from the last 5 actresses/strippers you dated how?" (A common problem for people in my industry for some reason - and hard to say which is worse, dating actresses or dating strippers.)  Most people with a trail of bad relationships behind them didn't make a ton of mistakes, rather they made the same mistake again, and again, and again. 

So Emme is right, you have to ask yourself what you want, and what your willing to trade in order to get it.  I know that entire 'dependence' deal has a bad vibe to it in the psychological community, but people in a relationship do come to depend on the other, and being depended upon is nice too, assuming your dependable. 

And you pretty much have to quit looking and interact with lots of people instead, every love affair begins with a conversation.






Love is companionship, having friends in common, the same interests. Sex is the connotation you're placing on love, and let me tell you, young lady, that if and when it does exist, it dies very quickly after marriage.  Anne, Valley of the Dolls, 1966
Title: Re: Lonely... I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend...
Post by: MarySue on December 19, 2008, 12:13:06 PM
Quote from: Aelita Lynn on December 18, 2008, 07:15:28 PM
... I want someone to care about and that will care about me. Problem is, I don't think that it is attainable considering the way that I am. ... But I don't think that I'll ever be able to find someone as I am now...  :'(

To repeat what Emme said, get a dog. Or better yet, a cat. If you're nice to them, they'll give you unconditional love. They'll accept you as you are -- or as whatever you become.

And they'll snuggle up next to you on cold nights. And maybe even warm nights.

Cats are easier, since you don't have to walk them at 3:00am in the rain. But if you get a cat, please keep her indoors. I've adopted a number of stray cats over the years, and they've all survived the transition to being indoor-only. On the flip side, I know plenty of folks whose outdoor cats have died by misadventure.
Title: Re: Lonely... I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend...
Post by: postoplesbian on December 19, 2008, 12:17:47 PM
There will always be differences in people. One will do one thing while the other will do another. That doesn't mean that each person isn't doing what they consider to be equal in doing their best as individuals and together then as a team.

However, this ideology of one being loved and the other not being loved or one giving and the other receiving will eventually falter or explode

and if you want to abreviate my name its POL not PL  :police:
Title: Re: Lonely... I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend...
Post by: icontact on December 19, 2008, 08:07:09 PM
Quote from: Emme on December 19, 2008, 03:31:22 AM
My advice?  Get a puppy.  The only thing it'll cheat on you with is someone's leg, they live to adore you, and you can whack them with a rolled up newspaper.  Boy/girlfriends tend to not like that so much. 

HAHAHA. That's true.

I like my girlfriend very much. :) And thus I bestow upon you all luck I have to spare, to be as happy as I am with her one day.
Title: Re: Lonely... I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend...
Post by: Rita Irene on December 20, 2008, 08:47:32 AM
First thing is I like women...

I have learned that, for me, women are much more accepting of us..and I have been surprised at how many were intrigued and ok with me as I am.
I took a hard step and began telling any woman I was interested in. Get to know someone for a little while...its just like regular dating...once you become somewhat comfortable (which usually doesnt take long) say "I really am interested in us. but I need to tell you something" I also felt it was only fair for them to know and told them that, too. I found the last 3 to be very into it. 2 however were not and that was fine.

Just as in any relationship...you have to own who you are. If your ok with that, youll find so many more people are too.

Nothing beats a girfriend that you can shop with and BENEFITS ::)
Title: Re: Lonely... I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend...
Post by: postoplesbian on December 20, 2008, 09:14:02 AM
Quote from: freespeechz on December 19, 2008, 08:07:09 PM
Quote from: Emme on December 19, 2008, 03:31:22 AM
My advice?  Get a puppy.  The only thing it'll cheat on you with is someone's leg, they live to adore you, and you can whack them with a rolled up newspaper.  Boy/girlfriends tend to not like that so much. 

HAHAHA. That's true.

I like my girlfriend very much. :) And thus I bestow upon you all luck I have to spare, to be as happy as I am with her one day.

WOW  You want us all to be happy with your girlfriend one day

I'M FIRST  >:-)
Title: Re: Lonely... I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend...
Post by: icontact on December 20, 2008, 05:10:52 PM
Quote from: postoplesbian on December 20, 2008, 09:14:02 AM
Quote from: freespeechz on December 19, 2008, 08:07:09 PM
Quote from: Emme on December 19, 2008, 03:31:22 AM
My advice?  Get a puppy.  The only thing it'll cheat on you with is someone's leg, they live to adore you, and you can whack them with a rolled up newspaper.  Boy/girlfriends tend to not like that so much. 

HAHAHA. That's true.

I like my girlfriend very much. :) And thus I bestow upon you all luck I have to spare, to be as happy as I am with her one day.

WOW  You want us all to be happy with your girlfriend one day

I'M FIRST  >:-)

HEYYYYY I DIDN'T SAY THAT. -glares at postoplesbian//grabs girlfriend back-
Title: Re: Lonely... I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend...
Post by: postoplesbian on December 20, 2008, 05:26:32 PM
Quote from: freespeechz on December 20, 2008, 05:10:52 PM
Quote from: postoplesbian on December 20, 2008, 09:14:02 AM
Quote from: freespeechz on December 19, 2008, 08:07:09 PM
Quote from: Emme on December 19, 2008, 03:31:22 AM
My advice?  Get a puppy.  The only thing it'll cheat on you with is someone's leg, they live to adore you, and you can whack them with a rolled up newspaper.  Boy/girlfriends tend to not like that so much. 

HAHAHA. That's true.

I like my girlfriend very much. :) And thus I bestow upon you all luck I have to spare, to be as happy as I am with her one day.

WOW  You want us all to be happy with your girlfriend one day

I'M FIRST  >:-)

HEYYYYY I DIDN'T SAY THAT. -glares at postoplesbian//grabs girlfriend back-

roflmao

yea the way you worded it gramatically speaking it sounded that way i just had to poke fun at you
Title: Re: Lonely... I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend...
Post by: Godot on December 26, 2008, 05:13:26 PM
Quote from: SakuraPrincess on December 26, 2008, 03:47:11 PM
Quote from: Nero on December 19, 2008, 12:21:03 AM
Love is overrated.
.__________________. wth! <.<
nu it's not
When love stabs you in the back it can seem overrated. To me, Love sucks and is completely overrated but that's just me
Title: Re: Lonely... I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend...
Post by: Janet_Girl on December 26, 2008, 05:18:13 PM
Quote from: Vexen on December 26, 2008, 05:13:26 PM
Quote from: SakuraPrincess on December 26, 2008, 03:47:11 PM
Quote from: Nero on December 19, 2008, 12:21:03 AM
Love is overrated.
.__________________. wth! <.<
nu it's not
When love stabs you in the back it can seem overrated. To me, Love sucks and is completely overrated but that's just me

When love hurts, it seems overrated.  But, and may be I am naive, I still believe in love.  It just takes the right person.  I am just waiting for the right person to come along.

Janet

Title: Re: Lonely... I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend...
Post by: yvbwsf on January 02, 2009, 09:25:08 AM
Hi,

Awww, want a hug? seems like you need one and i need to give one :)

I like hugging people, for that split second the void, the pain, the lonelyness goes away.

I think everyone without someone longs for someone and this affects their normal behavoiur (cant spell). Thing is if you dont know what you want or who you are its going to be really hard to find someone.

take me for example, i can cope with everything in my life and my head, the emptyness, the pain, the dissapointment with myself etc. The only thing i cant cope with is being alone, not having anyone not specifically a partner just someone to talk to thats the hard part but i dont know i am, i know what i want ( i think) i just cant understand it and untill i do a relationship just wont work, thing is without someone to show the REAL me to and to hug and to hold and to make me feel safe i aint ever going to know.

What i am about to write may upset, anoy some people, if this maybe you dont read it. i aint saying it for attention or self pitty etc im saying it because its a thought, a feeling ive had for years and its so upsetting.....

Millions of people die everday through accidents, random acts with no one to blame, thing i ask is...... when is my turn.

i dont say that because its the easier option its because its becoming more and more clear that thats maybe the only option

anyway back to putting on fake smiles, fake faces and living a life that i dont want

cya
Title: Re: Lonely... I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend...
Post by: MarySue on January 02, 2009, 09:50:45 PM
Quote from: Vexen
When love stabs you in the back it can seem overrated. To me, Love sucks and is completely overrated but that's just me

Quote from: Jenet Lynn
When love hurts, it seems overrated.  But, and may be I am naive, I still believe in love.  It just takes the right person.  I am just waiting for the right person to come along.

I have friends who are just as much in love as the day they first met in college ... 38 years ago. So obviously love is possible; I've seen the existance proof!

On the other hand, I have friends whose lives have been trashed by people they've loved.

As for me, I've managed to steer between those extremes. Unlike Vexen, I do believe love is possible. Just not for me. And I'm certainly not waiting for the right person to come along, nor am I even looking any more.

Not for a human, anyway. I have discovered that cats are much easier to live with than people (I say my 17 year old tuxedo cat has just crawled up into my lap and started to purr).
Title: Re: Lonely... I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend...
Post by: Astral on January 04, 2009, 09:43:16 PM
Quote
I've been thinking and what I've realized is that I need a boyfriend or girlfriend. I don't know which one I want, but really need someone. I want a serious relationship. I want someone to care about and that will care about me. Problem is, I don't think that it is attainable considering the way that I am. I don't want to be seen as a man by them. I especially don't want to be treated like one. I want someone to take ME out on a date. I want them to hold me. But I don't think that I'll ever be able to find someone as I am now...  :'( 

I'm in the exact same position right now... having the exact same feelings. I actually still need my first boyfriend though. I do live in a city with a pretty large gay community... but even so it doesn't feel right being with anyone the way that I am (still having my boy-parts). I want someone so badly at the sametime though. Plus I don't know if I am publicly able to come out tg yet.

I've been thinking about lining myself with a therapist though, and trying to get into horomone treatment asap. Although I am a bit nervous to talk about it. I mean I have no problems saying that I am transgender, but I don't want to have long discussions about it really.
Title: Re: Lonely... I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend...
Post by: Lacey Lynne on February 17, 2009, 08:35:33 PM
Quote from: Aelita Lynn on December 18, 2008, 07:15:28 PM
I've been thinking and what I've realized is that I need a boyfriend or girlfriend. I don't know which one I want, but really need someone. I want a serious relationship. I want someone to care about and that will care about me. Problem is, I don't think that it is attainable considering the way that I am. I don't want to be seen as a man by them. I especially don't want to be treated like one. I want someone to take ME out on a date. I want them to hold me. But I don't think that I'll ever be able to find someone as I am now...  :'(

Hi, Aelita Lynn,

OMG, I totally agree with your sentiment here.  As you can tell by reading these posts, different people feel different ways about this subject.  Gotta tell you though, I feel just the way you do.  Seek and you will find, Hun.  That implies action.  Some people get really lucky and just happen to meet somebody, and they click.  Others have to work at it.  Well, while working at it, you just may happen to meet somebody ...

You get the idea.  It's your life, of course, so you do what you want.  Just offering you some positive thoughts.   Good luck, Babes!

Hugs!
Title: Re: Lonely... I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend...
Post by: imaz on February 18, 2009, 03:13:10 PM
As the saying goes: "Friends are forever, lovers come and go." (no pun intended!)

Friends who are there for one will stop the loneliness, as for lovers it depends what kind of a relationship one wants. Never wanted one night stands myself but some do, when one is ready things happen, more depends on ourselves than we sometimes imagine.
Title: Re: Lonely... I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend...
Post by: V M on February 21, 2009, 11:46:22 PM
I often long to find that special someone. But I keep all my relationships on a "just friends" basis. I do get approached. Sometimes by people I like. I often think what it would be like to have them as my someone. But then I get afraid to get hurt again and let go of it. Then I am lonely again.  :-\
I wish someone would say "Here I am and I love you. Please don't turn away." But too many give up too easily.
Title: Re: Lonely... I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend...
Post by: RN1814 on February 22, 2009, 08:07:55 AM
I'm Mr.Lonely Akon...  :D
Title: Re: Lonely... I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend...
Post by: Miniar on February 22, 2009, 11:55:54 AM
I'm speaking from experience here. Being lonely and single is a heck of a lot better than being in a destructive, abusive, or otherwise unsatisfying relationship.
Title: Re: Lonely... I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend...
Post by: JakeDenver on February 22, 2009, 04:12:35 PM
I myself am into women mostly. But the women who are into me are usually lesbians and once I say I am a FTM they are like ewww penis and disappear. Therefore I remain single. I would love to find someone like myself a fellow ftm or a mtf. I think it would make for a good and understanding relationship. Then again I am young and I am not going to rush faling in love.
Title: Re: Lonely... I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend...
Post by: anewlife123 on February 23, 2009, 04:45:11 AM
Love doesn't come easy ... or cheap for that matter.
Title: Re: Lonely... I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend...
Post by: V M on February 23, 2009, 05:01:41 AM
Sure it does. Just go down to the street corner of any major city. Just Kidding  :laugh: True love is not easy to find. Those who find it are damn lucky in my opinion. If I find my special someone they better be ready. Because I wont let go