hi, new girl on the block here just registered yesterday... I have a question!
I know many MTF transsexuals find their erections gross. They don't like having erections. Is it possible for an MTF transsexual to enjoy and want erections, and under what circumstances does this feeling happen?
I've read about transsexuals who had full SRS surgery and yet before their transition they had children or had a very active autoerotic life (masturbation) even though they hated it.
But I wonder whether this is something only primary transsexuals feel, and what happens with secondary transsexuals. A primary transsexual is one who feels "I'm a girl" from a very young age (5-6?) and never develops a fake male persona to "act cis/straight". A secondary transsexual, on the other hand, creates a fake male persona and even fools herself thinking she's male, she might have difficulties with maintaining relationships or get depressed for no reason, but otherwise she is capable of "passing as a male" and even gets married, has children etc until someday in her 20s or 30s she understands she's transsexual but might not seek to transition until later (I've heard of people transitioning in their 50s, 60s, or 70s!).
What I wonder about is, how do secondary transsexuals feel about their erections and sex life? (if there's any, many are autoerotic, celibate or asexual) Do they actually enjoy having erections or using their plumbing before they realize they're transsexual? What happens after their realization? How gradual is the change?
And what happens with those who have HRT but not SRS? Do they actually enjoy their plumbing after they start living as women, or they just tolerate it?
It was a question of using what I had at the time. I could imagine I was a female while having sex. Now, so close to surgery, there is no action there and I am glad, it got more and more repulsive as time went on.
Every person is different.
Watch out! Don't step in the quagmire! Talking about "primary" and "secondary" transsexuals will spin this topic off into outer space.
There are people who transitioned early and those who transitioned later.
The exact dividing point between early and late is unclear.
Moreover, it ignores many of the reasons why people don't/can't transition earlier.
Just because many people have sat by the sidelines for years does not necessarily mean that they created a false persona.
"Primary" and "secondary" are antiquated terms in the TS community. Most trans people don't like them because they set up an artificial hierarchy. I believe Harry Benjamin coined the terms but they are not used except by the exclusionary "women born transsexual" clique.
As far as using the equipment one was born with is concerned, some of us used it (I have 2 sons) and some of us didn't. Go figure! It certainly doesn't make me a fake.
Let me take this opportunity to remind people that disdwarf is new here and may not yet be caught up with our mores and norms so be kind. Let's not let this thread get out of hand with personal attacks and such. Thanks!
hugs & smiles
Emelye
Quote from: Renate on January 22, 2010, 10:06:41 PM
Talking about "primary" and "secondary" transsexuals will spin this topic off into outer space.
There are people who transitioned early and those who transitioned later.
I read some medical articles (by a non-trans doctor) talking about primary and secondary TS and fake personas... I agree it sounds a bit strange to call someone "secondary" or "having a fake persona" just because they couldn't transition early, and yep I think it's much better to talk about "early transitioners" and "late transitioners". I didn't use the word secondary to imply "not a true transsexual" or something like that, I'm still new to TG/TS-related forums and I still try to pick up the correct vocabulary to use, as lots of my reading has been from medicalized articles etc but I agree with you the vocabulary used in the medical community sometimes just doesn't sound right.
so, to rephrase the question, I wonder how early and late transitioners feel about their plumbing, how these two groups differ in their feelings, how their feelings changed after their decision to transition, etc.
Engaging gravity drive. It is will spin out of control, I fear.
As to the question. I consider myself a primary transsexual, by your definition. But I did live as a male and have four children, by two ex wives. I have been married three times. And I hated to have an intimate relationship as a male. I would envision myself as a woman and my partner as a man. I also began transition two years ago, and I am going to be 56 next birthday.
I am thankful for Spiro, that rid me of the nuisance. And now with the twins gone, I am get closer to the true form.
There is or was a term in the gay community called a "beard". Where a gay man married a woman as a cover for being gay.
Quote from: disdwarf on January 22, 2010, 09:58:39 PM
hi, new girl on the block here just registered yesterday... I have a question!
What none of the shrinks and experts care to get into is the fact that MtF penis are alive and healthy and every few days the testicles have accummulated a lot of sperm and seminal fluid that has to be emptied...either manually or in wet dream (hated that expression all my life!)
Shrinks know perfectly well that 'NORMAL' men get very sore/uncomfortable/tender if they don't empty the system but somehow all the shrinks who rule our lives think that if we do something to stop the penis irritation we are 'not really transsexual' but just something in the DSM.
Doctors take things 'it was itching' out of vaginas all the time.
not only it has to be emptied, but not emptying it can lead to severe health complications perhaps even prostate cancer, a very male-ish disease... and surely it would be very bad for an MTF to die from a male-ish disease, so there are health reasons to empty it, somehow!
Setting aside the rather crude annalogies, sex is one of the most basic instincts of all mammals. On a biological level it causes a number of effects which are helathy and beneficial. Not least to the circulation. It also causes a feeling of temporary euphoria.
I use the equipment that I have. I really wish I had better equipment. I don't.
Though I've been married for almost 30 years, to an amazing and patient woman, I can't do the sex thing with her.
I've never cheated on my wife, and never will. But prior to being married I did have a period when I had sexual relations with men. Though never the promiscuious stereotype. I gave myself to them, or in a few instances, was taken against my will. I didn't ever reciplicate the same way.
I like your question Disdwarf. As a late "maybe-I-am-not-the-gender-that-matches-my-body-now-what-do-I-do-trans-something" I can tell you one person's experience. I enjoy my equipment without being emotionally attached to it the way some men are. I wish I could change it, and maybe a miracle will happen and I'll have the resources, but it may not be possible. I do not hate it, it just does not feel like me.
What I do hate is having to act like a male in bed with both of the women I married. Or the rest of the time for that matter. Until recently I was not clear about why I was unhappy. I grew up poor and abused so I did not know being unhappy was not inevitable. I thought - felt really - that it was just the way it was. Now I have a better idea but no solutions yet. I do not want to be sexual the way they wanted me to be. I do not want to be dominant and orgasm focused. I do not think all men are but many are, and some women want that. I do not think I am explaining this well: I do not clearly understand myself. It has to do with the male "personna" I have put on all of my life to survive. I do not want to be that surface person anymore, and I am just discovering what I have been covering all this time.
Ironically a politically incorrect and uncomfortable sexual behavior led me to a piece of self-discovery. I have been divorced for years, and not ready to start a relationship when I do not know who I am. So I have used free internet porn. Not completely satisfactory but better than nothing. I look for loving, happy scenes. I recently got really depressed realizing that at sixty I am never going to look as good as any of the young "actresses." Following that line of awareness, I realized I was fantasizing being the girl in those scenes. (Just for the record, most of the "girl" things I do have nothing to do with sex or arousal, they just give me comfort - like shaving my body hair feels right).
I do not hate my body, I just do not identify with it. I may never be in a body that feels like me, so I make use of what I've got - like a coat that does not fit but is all that is available right now.
I absolutely effing despise what I have. I was tolerant for a while...
That or I kidded myself again.
I want a relationship and public life that work for once....
Quote from: lilacwoman on January 23, 2010, 04:28:59 AM
What none of the shrinks and experts care to get into is the fact that MtF penis are alive and healthy and every few days the testicles have accummulated a lot of sperm and seminal fluid that has to be emptied...either manually or in wet dream (hated that expression all my life!)
Shrinks know perfectly well that 'NORMAL' men get very sore/uncomfortable/tender if they don't empty the system but somehow all the shrinks who rule our lives think that if we do something to stop the penis irritation we are 'not really transsexual' but just something in the DSM.
Doctors take things 'it was itching' out of vaginas all the time.
maybe that's true pre-HRT but a few months on a healthy dose of spiro pretty much dries that business up. Without testosterone the testicles atrophy and sperm production drops to zero, effectively rendering us sterile anyway. That's why it's sometimes referred to as "chemical castration". There may be a very small amount of seminal fluid from the prostate but the body can also just absorb that bit as the prostate atrophies as well. Neither erection nor ejaculation are required to enjoy sex or achieve orgasm.
I've said before you don't have to hate it, but if you are planning on SRS it's probably a good idea to begin pretty much getting over the whole "I enjoy my penis" thing, period. If you plan to remain non-op then that isn't an issue, but hormones will still definitely rearrange stuff down there for you.
Quote from: Tasha Elizabeth on January 24, 2010, 12:54:21 AM
however, i have heard from more than one surgeon the importance of staying orgasmic pre-op; so one has a better chance of being orgasmic post op.....
Yes that's true and my surgeon (Dr. McGinn) told me that as well. I reached the point of being ready to completely give them up until I figured out the plumbing isn't really relevant to actually having them. It just becomes different is all.
as we have other sources of testosterone than our testicles to keep our seminal vesicles filling to some degree I feel sure that the orgasmic wetness of th post-ops is due to the seminal vesicles emptying.
re not using it I was glad the estrogen stopped all my stuff working - right up to the time I had a weird pain just after being constipated for a couple of days and then suddenly peeing out an enormous mess of blood and mush...doctors verdict was 'congested and infected seminal vesiscles and please to empty them regularly Miss Lilac...'
just makes me cry to have to do it...very much a quickie too.
I recognize disdwarf is new and I recognize the point of her question without any malice. The question was asked in an honest way and rephrased in most appropriate language. Thank you.
To answer your question, I was a late bloomer and did not transition until I was in my 50's. My physician at the time, bless him, called me "54 years young".
I have two adult daughters and two wonderful grandchildren.
I never really "hated" my genitalia until very late in my pre-op life. But it did work, and shot live ammunition. But throughout my life I felt that it was ugly and I tucked for most of my adult life. I felt, and still feel, that having your major hormone and reproductive glands on the outside of the body was a very poor design. I felt women were much more streamlined with everything inside the body where it belongs.
My sex life, both single and with partners was satisfying. After all an orgasm is a physical process designed to stimulate the pleasure centers of the brain. Much like other sensations it is automatic. I never enjoyed having the erection, but the orgasm was pleasurable. My surgeon, Dr McGinn, was quite specific about the need for pre-op orgasms to aid the brain in establishing the new nerve stimulations post-op. Her statement was that SRS did not cure sexual dysfunction.
I was in denial about my transsexual nature for most of my life. I felt that I was a cross-dresser, a man with an outrageous hobby. Growing up, I knew I wasn't a transsexual, because I saw that transsexuals became hookers, strippers and drug addicts. This was much, much, before the internet. Your thumbnail description about my condition, as being a faux-male was dead on for me.
When came out of denial and I did realize that I was a woman with a transsexual condition, it hit me like a thunderbolt. It was an earthquake. I knew in that instant that my life as it was up to that point was over. I went through the five stages of grief. It was as powerful as being told that I had terminal cancer.
I transitioned relatively quickly. See my blog "Sandy's Transition" for a blow by blow description.
BTW: Welcome to the forum, disdwarf. Feel free to ask any question you like, that is why we are here. And feel free to PM me if you have anything else you might want to discuss.
-Sandy
cnat spel
Quote from: Tasha Elizabeth on January 24, 2010, 12:54:21 AM
however, i have heard from more than one surgeon the importance of staying orgasmic pre-op; so one has a better chance of being orgasmic post op.....
Hmmm...well, that's another line item for my transition timetable. Actually, periodic line items. Some of those line items are a real b***h; remaining orgasmic has not been one of them. Check and double check. ::) I've been unable to have an erection for 10 or 12 years, and I do not miss it, except to provide pleasure for my wife. I'm still very orgasmic, so we make do thanks to modern toys.
By the way, primary and secondary transgender? Give me a break. Do a head count of all transgendered people, and you will get as many different steps on the scale. Making my own definition: If you're in the middle of physical transition, you're a primary, every thing else is pre-transition so perhaps secondary, maybe so pre transition that no significent steps ever occur. There's too much labeling in all aspects of life; let'e not go overboard here with it.
SusanKG
I used to get really "hung-up" on this, until I found about about 3 things... ::)
OK TMI warning here folks....but.... :icon_nervious:
1) gg's get erections too, and it's a well documented fact that the "erectile" type tissue surrounds the vagina as well as the clitoris.
2) There is no reason why a pre-op "male" body can not experience a female style orgasm without ejaculation, with a little re-training and practice.
3) A lot of gg's need as much determination and practice (masturbation) as "males" to develop their ability to have a female orgasm, and in most cases GCS MtF's have a higher orgasm rate than the cisgendered gg population.
Sooo... if you believe me, then the it's possible to find a little comfort during those long months of transition, or in my case, while you continue to try to sort the details of your life out... 8)
...and if you don't ...that's OK by me too, I just hope it doesn't cause too much distress, while you wait for a solution... :icon_bunch:
:icon_hug:
Chrissty
How about I'm ambivalent towards it? It's what I have for now, and it feels pleasureable to use it in sexual situations. At the same time, I never feel completely blissful, and I find myself wishing I was experiencing what my (usually female) partner was: intense, sometimes multiple orgasms.
Of the many reasons I want to go on HRT, among them are the end of huge, inexplicable morning wood, and no longer having my mind dominated by my biologically male sex drive.
Quote from: Chrissty on January 24, 2010, 03:04:55 PM
I used to get really "hung-up" on this, until I found about about 3 things... ::)
OK TMI warning here folks....but.... :icon_nervious:
1) gg's get erections too, and it's a well documented fact that the "erectile" type tissue surrounds the vagina as well as the clitoris.
2) There is no reason why a pre-op "male" body can not experience a female style orgasm without ejaculation, with a little re-training and practice.
3) A lot of gg's need as much determination and practice (masturbation) as "males" to develop their ability to have a female orgasm, and in most cases GCS MtF's have a higher orgasm rate than the cisgendered gg population.
Sooo... if you believe me, then the it's possible to find a little comfort during those long months of transition, or in my case, while you continue to try to sort the details of your life out... 8)
...and if you don't ...that's OK by me too, I just hope it doesn't cause too much distress, while you wait for a solution... :icon_bunch:
:icon_hug:
Chrissty
Erectile tissue and a thing that sticks out like that are two different things. They have totally different purposes. Erectile tissue in a female may, for all we know, just make the area more resilient to trauma via penetration. Maybe. A theory?
But ... I'm not one to enjoy it. I mean if you take a person who likes swimming in a pool, and feels ok doing so, and dropped them in the ocean which they're no fan of... I mean they might still be ok with water itself... I mean you drink it right?
But the ocean would scare the hell out of him.
Fortunately Hrt has caused mine to shrink and become inoperative which is just fine with me because it was never meant to be there. I will have an orci soon and later SRS. I can't wait to get rid of this mistake. Woman have vaginas not penises and I will never miss mine.
Pam
Quote from: Kara-Xen on January 24, 2010, 06:29:40 PM
Erectile tissue and a thing that sticks out like that are two different things. They have totally different purposes. Erectile tissue in a female may, for all we know, just make the area more resilient to trauma via penetration. Maybe. A theory?
But ... I'm not one to enjoy it. I mean if you take a person who likes swimming in a pool, and feels ok doing so, and dropped them in the ocean which they're no fan of... I mean they might still be ok with water itself... I mean you drink it right?
But the ocean would scare the hell out of him.
Kara.... I guess I always liked swimming in the ocean better than the pool, but then that's me and I respect the views of others..
All I was saying was with enough of the right practice in the pool.... then the ocean may not be as frightening or dangerous as it once appeared..
Maybe my use of the term "erectile" tissue gave the wrong impression, but the tissue engorges and behaves in pretty much the same way when aroused, though it is not usually so obvious due to it's location.
Chrissty
Heck, If I could give myself a blow job, maybe I wouldn't be so annoyed with the darn thing :laugh: >:-) :laugh:
Dr. McGinn also recommends taking progesterone post-surgery in order to maintain a healthy libido. According to the literature she provides, testosterone is basically gone after surgery and the minute amounts produced by the rest of the body aren't enough to do the job. Since progesterone metabolizes into a form of testosterone in the body, taking it can help you to continue to make sure all that pre-surgery practice can be put to good use ;)
I have learned to deal with it most days and can enjoy sex if I dont watch whats happening because when I do it blows the illusion all to shreds.
Quote from: Chrissty on January 24, 2010, 06:56:28 PM
Kara.... I guess I always liked swimming in the ocean better than the pool, but then that's me and I respect the views of others..
All I was saying was with enough of the right practice in the pool.... then the ocean may not be as frightening or dangerous as it once appeared..
Maybe my use of the term "erectile" tissue gave the wrong impression, but the tissue engorges and behaves in pretty much the same way when aroused, though it is not usually so obvious due to it's location.
Chrissty
I don't mind what kind of tissue it is... I hate how its arranged is all. Its not the wrong impression.
And some people just dont like somethings about the ocean in this scenario... I understand what you're trying to do is good, don't get me wrong. But even if the ocean weren't as scary.... Its not even a matter of scary actually... Its a subconscious reaction of dysphoria. But what I mean is that even if it weren't as scary... It would just not be my cup of tea. Like football... I'd rather have literal tea and a smoke than that.
But Its not like I can control the way the thing vibrates in a totally different vibe than I. I tried that for 20 years... Otherwise why bother transitioning right?
Quote from: Kara-Xen on January 24, 2010, 10:11:37 PM
I don't mind what kind of tissue it is... I hate how its arranged is all....
I totally agree.... :icon_yes:
Quote from: Kara-Xen on January 24, 2010, 10:11:37 PM
But Its not like I can control the way the thing vibrates in a totally different vibe than I. I tried that for 20 years... Otherwise why bother transitioning right?
I agree with this too... :icon_wink:
..... but I am also saying that the male body experience we are "used to", tends to focus on "one" thing, and the lead up to "one" event; wheras the female experience is a lot more about the whole body, and repeated waves of sensation. :rolleyes:
If you can get over "it's" existence (which I did with the fundamental realisation that the sensations are mostly the same just re-arranged) then you can move on to explore the wider aspects of female sensuality and orgasm before GCS. :angel:
Kara..... I suppose I find myself in this situation as I'm not able to start HRT at this time, and maybe for similar reasons you had become an expert on herbals when I first joined Susan's. When our path is blocked, we instinctively look for alternative routes to continue to make progress to the destination our heart desires... In this case, I was more than a little surprised to discover what is possible with the limitations of a pysically male body....
:icon_hug:
Chrissty
Quotemaybe that's true pre-HRT but a few months on a healthy dose of spiro pretty much dries that business up.
I don't really have anything constructive to add to this discussion other than to point out how freaking awesome this is.
You know, I can't wait for the day when nobody even thinks to ask me for information about my penis. I've never used mine for a whole lot. Pretty much since the first time I slept with a guy, after he had been inside me for a while I reached for it for some reason and it wasn't...alert. I was having a ball nonetheless (no pun intended), and pretty much stuck with that pattern. Afterword it would kind of ooze, which was revolting, but that's dealt with now so woo-hoo.
I honestly do not understand how people can say they are trans and that they don't mind their genetic parts in the same sentence. Please explain this to me, because I've spent all of my life wanting to kill this body, having only somewhat recently learned that it was possible to reshape it and begun doing so. I just can't relate to 'using what I had' type comments, because every time I used it, I'd go into deep depression and insane bouts of dysphoria. I don't get it, and I want to, so if the op doesn't mind I'd like to hear more about it.
Quote from: Becca on January 25, 2010, 05:44:12 AM
I don't really have anything constructive to add to this discussion other than to point out how freaking awesome this is.
You know, I can't wait for the day when nobody even thinks to ask me for information about my penis. I've never used mine for a whole lot. Pretty much since the first time I slept with a guy, after he had been inside me for a while I reached for it for some reason and it wasn't...alert. I was having a ball nonetheless (no pun intended), and pretty much stuck with that pattern. Afterword it would kind of ooze, which was revolting, but that's dealt with now so woo-hoo.
I honestly do not understand how people can say they are trans and that they don't mind their genetic parts in the same sentence. Please explain this to me, because I've spent all of my life wanting to kill this body, having only somewhat recently learned that it was possible to reshape it and begun doing so. I just can't relate to 'using what I had' type comments, because every time I used it, I'd go into deep depression and insane bouts of dysphoria. I don't get it, and I want to, so if the op doesn't mind I'd like to hear more about it.
I will try to explain. I can tolerate the erections because I realized that sex is more about the emotions involved then the equipment itself. Yes it's true that men have penises and women have vaginas but it's all the same skin anyway. Testes are just ovaries gone south and a penis is just a giant chlitoris. Men also have sort of a labia to a degree too. I forget how that one came about but I know I heard it somewhere. The question you have to ask yourself is do you feel like a man during arousal and masturbation. To me, I know my body will have to empty itself, so I just see ejaculation sort of like going to the bathroom. It's just the way my body is. I don't necessarily hate my penis, but I wouldn't be sad if I woke up and it was gone. Erections are annoying though and if I could make them go away completely I would.
Quote from: Chrissty on January 25, 2010, 05:12:23 AM
I totally agree.... :icon_yes:
I agree with this too... :icon_wink:
..... but I am also saying that the male body experience we are "used to", tends to focus on "one" thing, and the lead up to "one" event; wheras the female experience is a lot more about the whole body, and repeated waves of sensation. :rolleyes:
If you can get over "it's" existence (which I did with the fundamental realisation that the sensations are mostly the same just re-arranged) then you can move on to explore the wider aspects of female sensuality and orgasm before GCS. :angel:
Kara..... I suppose I find myself in this situation as I'm not able to start HRT at this time, and maybe for similar reasons you had become an expert on herbals when I first joined Susan's. When our path is blocked, we instinctively look for alternative routes to continue to make progress to the destination our heart desires... In this case, I was more than a little surprised to discover what is possible with the limitations of a pysically male body....
:icon_hug:
Chrissty
I can get close to female orgasms (Whatever they are now ._.;)... But these days its only if I really need it, cause I've been weaker lately and the inability for me to climb over that steep mountain of subconscious badness associated with the THING... That I have.
Its like the more my mind progresses the bigger the gap there is. Its like it one day finally snapped. I mean what I do on my own sucks... Its only good at climax. The road to that is grueling and horrible. But I'm pretty sure I wont have a problem with sensation if SRS goes ok... The pathways are certainly there. Thats why I hate it. Cause my mind feels a totally different sensation and reality than what is happening physically... And it takes an extremely huge amount of concentration and faith to believe it, or to not be consciously depressed that you can't move forward on what you feel cause the physical is off.
If I'm with someone else though... Its impossible. A couple of times were ok, but then I just felt humiliated and exposed directly afterwards. Now it is literally impossible for me to get through anything in person with someone else. The wrongness is 5 times stronger. The other person was treating me perfectly too.
As for herbals... I was heavily using them at first... Just to find myself out. Back then I thought I had the desire "to be" a girl, or at least physically female. It kind of helped my feelings for a while, but herbals are only really ok if you're not on HRT yet... And HRT is better. Now I'm on that. Actually I still self medicate something in the mix... Microgest progesterone. I asked my psychiatrist and my endo, "How would you like it if I confiscated a chemical in your body or your ovaries? Maybe your serotonin... And hid it... And then made you jump through flaming hoops to get it. You'd be pissed wouldn't you?" Dunno whether or not to cycle it yet. Aw well... But I was doing herbals for that reason, yes. Cause my mom is stupid. I think that its only started to be really mentally digested more recently. Because now the my brain is more itself, the contrast is obvious to stupid me.
Its not like I am anorgasmic or anything... Its just much harder now to lie to myself about whats there, or overcome the subconscious wave of catatonic horror that is freaking impossible to deal with. I dunno when I can get sliced up for 20 grand... Cause I'm rather poor and so is my family... And there's no way in hell my grandfather would support this... But I cant wait for the painkiller high, and feeling less defective, and looking forward to a small possibility of a real relationship...
That person had the site to raise funds to reverse their transition... Wish I could do something like that in reverse only I'd feel like I was using people, lol. I. Hate. Money. Period...
Quote from: Kara-Xen on January 25, 2010, 11:14:32 AM
I can get close to female orgasms (Whatever they are now ._.;)... But these days its only if I really need it, cause I've been weaker lately and the inability for me to climb over that steep mountain of subconscious badness associated with the THING... That I have.
That person had the site to raise funds to reverse their transition... Wish I could do something like that in reverse only I'd feel like I was using people, lol. I. Hate. Money. Period...
Kara, clearly what I am suggesting is causing you distress and that was never my intention. :icon_bunch:
I can totally understand your perspective, and why you feel the way you do. I have experienced the distress of not being able to perform for my partner as expected, and the emptiness afterwards. I did everything I could to overcome my issues as a husband and ended up fathering two children, but that still didn't make me enjoy the act. If I were not "unusually" good at giving my wife a good time in "alternative" ways I would probably have been divorced long ago. :-\
So from the reactions I get, maybe I have found a unique way of pacifying my GID that others find difficulty in achieving, and I am therefore the "odd one out" here... ::)
:icon_hug:
Chrissty
I use it once a week for sexual function, that's it. I try and keep my mind off it. I haven't engaged in a sexual act that used my downstairs since I was 14 or 15 (I can't quite recall, though I suspect 14). That act my first, my last, and it was not my choice, but rather me caving to peer pressure. I am now 18, going on 19.
Quote from: Becca on January 25, 2010, 05:44:12 AM
II honestly do not understand how people can say they are trans and that they don't mind their genetic parts in the same sentence. Please explain this to me, because I've spent all of my life wanting to kill this body, having only somewhat recently learned that it was possible to reshape it and begun doing so. I just can't relate to 'using what I had' type comments, because every time I used it, I'd go into deep depression and insane bouts of dysphoria. I don't get it, and I want to, so if the op doesn't mind I'd like to hear more about it.
I never hated my equipment. (I just wished it would fall off.) I didn't hate it because I thought I was stuck with it and refused to let myself hate part of me, even if it was like an alien attachment - a wart or something. My refusal to allow myself to hate it was part of trying to adjust to what I thought was my fate. If I had a disfiguring scar, I would be unhappy about it but wouldn't allow myself to hate it.
However, I did hate when the little head thought for the big head. Now, on HRT, that never happens. And now that I am getting close to getting things reconfigured as they should have been, I look at that junk as donor tissue and want to keep it healthy.
- Kate
Quote from: Chrissty on January 25, 2010, 12:43:43 PMSo from the reactions I get, maybe I have found a unique way of pacifying my GID that others find difficulty in achieving, and I am therefore the "odd one out" here... ::)
No, I agree with you wholeheartedly, and that's the point I tried to make previously. Erection is not required for orgasm. Neither is ejaculation. This came to me through HRT and practice but you found it without hormones, which is remarkable. It is possible for pre-op women to have female orgasms which are intense, multiple, wavelike, full-bodied, and long lasting (and dry). I've even gotten them from breast/nipple stimulation only. Those who have said it's the same tissue are correct, and a small portion of the glans is preserved as a clitoris after surgery. Those same nerves can be used now, without using them in any fashion the same way a man does. HRT also has the effect of intensifying other areas as erogenous zones that may not have been before.
Quote from: FairyGirl on January 25, 2010, 08:26:52 PM
No, I agree with you wholeheartedly....... It is possible for pre-op women to have female orgasms which are intense, multiple, wavelike, full-bodied, and long lasting (and dry).
Thanks....I was beginning to think I was a alone in this.. :icon_bunch:
It's just a real shame that a lot of transitioners never find the key until after GCS.. ::)
Quote from: FairyGirl on January 25, 2010, 08:26:52 PM
I've even gotten them from breast/nipple stimulation only.
It's a long story...but I'm not going to re-open this subject other than to say that I 110% agree.. :D
Quote from: FairyGirl on January 25, 2010, 08:26:52 PM
Those who have said it's the same tissue are correct, and a small portion of the glans is preserved as a clitoris after surgery.
It's easy to forget that Natal girls get a form of erection when aroused too, and we are quick to accept that a large part of the penis has to be discarded in reconstruction, but really that is only because of the limitations of current medical techniques. :-\
I just found it easier to live with in my situation, once I had realised that most of the sensations were correct, but needed a little rearranging in my head until I could do something more permanent about it.... ;)
Chrissty
Quote from: pamshaw on January 24, 2010, 06:45:37 PM
Fortunately Hrt has caused mine to shrink and become inoperative which is just fine with me because it was never meant to be there. I will have an orci soon and later SRS. I can't wait to get rid of this mistake. Woman have vaginas not penises and I will never miss mine.
Pam
I agree with Pam in that ever since I was a kid I've felt it was some sort of mistake. Add to that the fact that I was born with a really tiny penis and I have always had thoughts that I was really close to be being born a girl, but it was not meant to be.
I have never enjoyed trying to use it and thus have lived my life as a submissive sissy. I have always wanted it gone and have been depressed here and there that that is most likely not going to happen. Years of HRT have made things even smaller down there, so at least there is that.
I have never been the penis hater type. Being male to me is just not right and it not where I want to be. I want it gone because it does not fit my body image or my true gender.
I have really had much of a sex drive or a desire for intercourse. Of course I got exited and the odd boner would occur and yes I masterbated but it was not a big deal. Luckily, 9 months of spiro and oestrogen have made even a semi a rareocurance. No more morning glories and I don't care.
I am still trying to ensure there is enough tissue for surgery but unprovoked stiffies are no longer a problem ;D
Quote from: Pippa on January 26, 2010, 03:10:54 PM
I have never been the penis hater type. Being male to me is just not right and it not where I want to be. I want it gone because it does not fit my body image or my true gender.
I have really had much of a sex drive or a desire for intercourse. Of course I got exited and the odd boner would occur and yes I masterbated but it was not a big deal. Luckily, 9 months of spiro and oestrogen have made even a semi a rareocurance. No more morning glories and I don't care.
I am still trying to ensure there is enough tissue for surgery but unprovoked stiffies are no longer a problem ;D
Its not necessarily hate, you know? Its this subconscious bad vibe that doesn't go away. Like a cringe that is a knee jerk reaction...
I've hated it before, but its all based off of the deeper bad vibe I feel.
I dont ALWAYS hate erections, however I don't always embrace them either.
Even on spiro and estra. I still have a somewhat high sex drive.
I have a love/hate relationship with my "cash n prizes".
I appreciate the honesty of some of the posters here. My kudos to you.
What I will never understand is why some old MTF transitioners get marry 4, 5, 6 times as men, have 4, 5, 6 kids & then they wake up one foggy Thursday & say that they've "always hated their plumbing so much" ::). If you hated your plumbing so much, why did you get marry 4, 5, 6 times? If you hated it so much why did you have 4, 5, 6 kids?. To me that tells me that you didn't "hate" it but liked it. If you liked it, be honest with yourself & say so instead of engaging yourself in semantics to deceive people. I can't stand that. It pisses me off.
I have always hated them. Nothing worse than going to the loo of a morning and this thing is sticking out in front of you for everyone to see.
Just lately I have found I don't get them as much, maybe because I am 50.
My future hrt doctor has just taken some blood tests and found my testosterone is very low for a male and my estrogen is a little high for a male. I have also noticed that the male bits are actually getting smaller. ;)
Quote from: Pia on January 29, 2010, 04:56:29 AM
I appreciate the honesty of some of the posters here. My kudos to you.
What I will never understand is why some old MTF transitioners get marry 4, 5, 6 times as men, have 4, 5, 6 kids & then they wake up one foggy Thursday & say that they've "always hated their plumbing so much" ::). If you hated your plumbing so much, why did you get marry 4, 5, 6 times? If you hated it so much why did you have 4, 5, 6 kids?. To me that tells me that you didn't "hate" it but liked it. If you liked it, be honest with yourself & say so instead of engaging yourself in semantics to deceive people. I can't stand that. It pisses me off.
Actually alot of us late in lifers have spent alot of time forcing ourselves to adjust to the equipment we have. By having 'male' sex the late in lifer is is trying desperatly to screw himself into manhood. I know I was. After awhile the orgasim becomes adicting and you will suck it up and deal with whatever is downstairs just to get off. Which for many the only release from the angst is the 30 seconds of orgasim. Ussually followed by hours of self loating and depression.
Just because something might not make sense doesnt make it unreal.
Quote from: Pia on January 29, 2010, 04:56:29 AM
I appreciate the honesty of some of the posters here. My kudos to you.
What I will never understand is why some old MTF transitioners get marry 4, 5, 6 times as men, have 4, 5, 6 kids & then they wake up one foggy Thursday & say that they've "always hated their plumbing so much" ::). If you hated your plumbing so much, why did you get marry 4, 5, 6 times? If you hated it so much why did you have 4, 5, 6 kids?. To me that tells me that you didn't "hate" it but liked it. If you liked it, be honest with yourself & say so instead of engaging yourself in semantics to deceive people. I can't stand that. It pisses me off.
Walk a mile in my heels, Pia.
The issue of getting married vs the male genitalia are two different subjects.
A similar, though wrong, conclusion could be made by those MTF's who engage in very macho activities or join the army. It is a way to convince themselves that they do not have the feelings that they do.
Also, hon, while I was married multiple times, it was not 4,5, or six times. And too, the ability for me to transition back in the 60's would have not been possible for me.
My genitalia, when it was outside my body, gave me pleasure I can't deny that, it's the way that I was wired. But it doesn't mean that I didn't think that it was ugly and incorrect.
I'm sorry that the complex issues that surround the nature of the late-bloomer transsexual distress you, but I do wish that you would have a bit more compassion.
-Sandy
Quote from: Pia on January 29, 2010, 04:56:29 AM
I can't stand that. It pisses me off.
Woah, there, Pia.
People marry women because they like women.
People have kids because they like kids.
They don't necessarily "wake up one morning" to some foreign feeling.
They have simply tried to find a simple solution to a complex problem and failed.
My male bits have given me pleasure and they have distressed me, sometimes simultaneously.
I married twice. The first woman wanted a more masculine husband. The second died.
The first known "sex-change" operation happened when I was 9. The first in the US happened when I was 28. I could finally find enough information to think seriously about it when I was 40 (no internet) but realized I wasn't emotionally capable of overcoming the difficulties at that time.
Things are far different now. I have transitioned with very few bumps. That wouldn't have been the case 25 or 45 years ago.
I think I know what you are saying, Pia. I believe we shouldn't lie to ourselves. Yes, I enjoyed my plumbing at times. That doesn't mean I won't be absolutely delighted to be rid of it. :D
- Kate
Quote from: K8 on January 29, 2010, 08:17:49 AM
I think I know what you are saying, Pia. I believe we shouldn't lie to ourselves. Yes, I enjoyed my plumbing at times. That doesn't mean I won't be absolutely delighted to be rid of it. :D
- Kate
Yea I see a lot bullsh&t by some people here. Who the hell are they trying to lie to? Certainly not me. Do you hate something? you don't use it. But you don't wake up one foggy Thursday saying that you "hated" your penis when the evidence is there that you didn't.
Really?
Geepers, I woke up on a foggy Thursday and thought..... "Gee I really don't like having a penis" :laugh:
QuoteYea I see a lot bullsh&t by some people here. Who the hell are they trying to lie to? Certainly not me. Do you hate something? you don't use it. But you don't wake up one foggy Thursday saying that you "hated" your penis when the evidence is there that you didn't.
Hey Pia
I do not hate my penis, I hate what it represents. But you may want to reconsider the judgement part of you comment and just admit you do not understand. It is not as simple as you present it. People are different. Some people can have two or more contradictory feelings (or beliefs) about the same thing. Love and hate and confusion. As someone pointed out, orgasms feel good, sometimes even if one does not like the equipment. Other people feel differently. What is true for you may not be true for someone else, and that does not mean either of you are wrong or "bs-ing". So say you do not understand instead of attacking.
We get enough heat from the outside world and our own internal self-hate. We need to give each other support.
Honestly I don't understand it either Pia, but why the anger? What did old transexuals ever do to you? When I encounter someone who doesn't blend, or worse yet doesn't even try, it bothers me on a primal level but that's because of a fear in the back of my brain about becoming like them. Anger is hard on the nevrvous system, and there are so many better things to have ones panties in a knot over.
Quote from: Pia on January 29, 2010, 10:18:33 PM
Yea I see a lot bullsh&t by some people here. Who the hell are they trying to lie to? Certainly not me. Do you hate something? you don't use it. But you don't wake up one foggy Thursday saying that you "hated" your penis when the evidence is there that you didn't.
Wow... really? You really think that? There's a simple behavioral test for this stuff independent of individual circumstance?
I totally thought TS people would not grasp for that kind of hard line. But... I guess you need it. And we have more work ahead of us than I thought.
Kind of sad. But also good to know.
The argument that we must have "enjoyed it" before is analogous to saying that other activities we may have pursued in order to sublimate our innate femininity must now define us for all eternity.
I'm the parent of two children. I cannot say that I ever liked coital sex. But it's what one does when trying to be a husband.
A friend once expressed it very well: "It's something I did. It's not who I am."
Quote from: Kay Henderson on January 30, 2010, 06:00:13 AM
A friend once expressed it very well: "It's something I did. It's not who I am."
Well put!
-Sandy
Quote from: cynthialee on January 29, 2010, 06:52:30 AM
Actually alot of us late in lifers have spent alot of time forcing ourselves to adjust to the equipment we have. By having 'male' sex the late in lifer is is trying desperatly to screw himself into manhood. I know I was. After awhile the orgasim becomes adicting and you will suck it up and deal with whatever is downstairs just to get off. Which for many the only release from the angst is the 30 seconds of orgasim. Ussually followed by hours of self loating and depression.
Just because something might not make sense doesnt make it unreal.
Yeah... Male orgasms were like heroin to me. I freaking hated it, but forced myself to anyway, and eventually NEEDED it to get through... It was very entangled with other feelings but it was still the male equipment... Yeah I got that too. I'd feel freaking horrible afterwards.
I kinda agree with Christy. I've been exploring ways of having an orgasm without using 'it'. It's not bad!
I'm also married with wife and two kids. I can't argue everything I've done forms a logical consistent picture. Although I've always wanted to be female, I didn't think it possible. Being a husband to a loving woman and raising kids is also 'not bad'!
Truth be known, in spite of my gender orientation, my sexual orientation has always been toward female. I don't understand why anyone would want a man. But, that's just me. My hope is that my wife and I can continue to love and pleasure each other.
I know that some peeps develop an intense desire to correct their gender even at a young age. They would justifiably choose a different approach than me.
I appreciate them expressing their opinion. It brings a little more understanding about the thing we are all struggling with.
actually most of us drift into marriage as the alternative is to confess to being one of the most despised, despicable people on the planet...so we kind of sleep walk through the motions and watch thingsd like as an out of body experience. The sex thrill lasts about a wek then the self loathing kicks in and out come the excuses for not doing it and shottly aftre comes the divroce.
Hmm, I wonder if there is a difference between straight and lesbian women in this regard. Are lesbian women more likely to use it to please a partner?
Quote from: lilacwoman on January 31, 2010, 03:29:56 PM
actually most of us drift into marriage as the alternative is to confess to being one of the most despised, despicable people on the planet...so we kind of sleep walk through the motions and watch thingsd like as an out of body experience. The sex thrill lasts about a wek then the self loathing kicks in and out come the excuses for not doing it and shottly aftre comes the divroce.
Have you been watching my life, lilacwoman? I did exactly that. To please my parents, family and the world.
Quote from: link=topic=71318.msg489532#msg489532 date=1264973634
Hmm, I wonder if there is a difference between straight and lesbian women in this regard. Are lesbian women more likely to use it to please a partner?
My "permanent strap-on" (as I like to call my penis) may please a partner, but the person behind it (me) isn't so happy at it being used that way. :|
edit - fixed quote
Quote from: Jacy on January 31, 2010, 11:06:46 AM
I don't understand why anyone would want a man.
Well since my transition my sexual orientation is a heterosexual female, I want a man to desire me, I take the submissive role in lovemaking with my BF, I feel very fullfil as a woman when I satisfy my fiancé in that department.
I want a man, but not just any man, I want a man to take care of me, be a gentleman, treat me like a Lady, tell Im pretty, spoil me, hopefully my present
BF is Mr Right, he's excepted my history, now engaged to be his Wife.
p
Quote from: lilacwoman on January 31, 2010, 03:29:56 PM
actually most of us drift into marriage as the alternative is to confess to being one of the most despised, despicable people on the planet...so we kind of sleep walk through the motions and watch thingsd like as an out of body experience. The sex thrill lasts about a wek then the self loathing kicks in and out come the excuses for not doing it and shottly aftre comes the divroce.
Ye My story in a nutshell. Did get some good kids out of it.
Quote from: disdwarf on January 22, 2010, 09:58:39 PM
I know many MTF transsexuals find their erections gross. They don't like having erections. Is it possible for an MTF transsexual to enjoy and want erections, and under what circumstances does this feeling happen?
And what happens with those who have HRT but not SRS? Do they actually enjoy their plumbing after they start living as women, or they just tolerate it?
I don't get involved in the hierarchical conversations about primary this and secondary that and tertiary this and you are one of those type things, lol. I'll address your questions though.
I don't enjoy having erections but they don't disgust me either. It happens rarely and it isn't a big deal if it does because it isn't spontaneous. I don't think anyone should EVER EVER feel ashamed of their sexuality and their sex drive. I applaud pre-op or non-op MTF's who are in touch with their sexuality and not ashamed of it. I think we as a community spend so much time trying to be something to other people that we forget about ourselves. Mentioning having any kind of enjoyment through a penis is pretty much taboo to much of the community, but there are definitely people who do that.
For me being pre-op and on HRT for a little over 2 years, I feel pretty much the same way about it now as I did before. It's a little more of an annoyance now because it's pretty much the only time that being trans or being born with a male body is thrown in my face. I just avoid mirrors and stuff. I don't hate it any more than before, I don't love it any more, it...just...is. It isn't a pleasure point for me very often and it's just biding it's time for a while until surgery. That's my thoughts :) Meghan
But don't ever let anyone tell you that you CAN'T or shouldn't enjoy your sexuality, k?
Well to answer the original questions. Yes I hate getting erections, with an unbelievable amount of fiery, angry hate. I hate dealing with the whole thing in general. As a matter of fact, if I knew I had to live the rest of my life with a penis, I would rather not have anything at all, and just whack it clean off. I never really used it for anything other than self pleasure. All of the "girlfriends" I've tried to maintain a relationship with said I was just to non-manly. So I gave up on that. I will probably die and never use the thing for it's intended purpose.
As to the topic of "primary" and "secondary", not going to really get into all that.
This discussion has kind of got me thinking. My therapist is a genetic woman, as is my neighbor. They both seem rather fascinated and rather enamoured with the idea of a girl with a penis. I wonder if we switched bodies for a limited time how long it would take the novelty to wear off. They wouldn't have the psycho/physical distress of a brain in the wrong juice to deal with, just the part. I wonder if they could work it, it's harder than it looks! I bet they would pee all over the place, I just know that's the first thing they'd try to do and make a huge mess.
Aiming the darn thing could be a bit difficult at first if your not use to it :laugh:
But once they successfully write their name on a wall or two I'm sure they'll feel quite jolly >:-)
When I told my contact at the gender clinic that we TS are the most despised, despicable she could not believe it. Probably never reads news of murders, arsons of TS etc.
As a marker of what we feel about our penises: how many of us did the tying string round it, praying for it to go away, when we were several years away from puberty? etc etc?
Post Merge: February 01, 2010, 06:03:44 AM
Quote from: Pia on January 29, 2010, 04:56:29 AM
What I will never understand is why some old MTF transitioners get marry 4, 5, 6 times as men,
To paraphrase: what I will never understand is these young fools who haven't a clue about the fact that sex change wasn't generally available until we were well past puberty and even then there may not have been any local way to access info let alone find therapis, hormones and surgeons.
Pia's attack is basically the same as Blanchard and Baileys discredited crap.
And can I ask everyone and especially Pia to go read Anne Vitale's Tnote #6 Mid Life Awakaneing which explains perfectly why 'some old MtF transitioners etc...www.avitale.com (http://www.avitale.com)
Quote from: lilacwoman on February 01, 2010, 05:54:29 AM
When I told my contact at the gender clinic that we TS are the most despised, despicable she could not believe it. Probably never reads news of murders, arsons of TS etc.
As a marker of what we feel about our penises: how many of us did the tying string round it, praying for it to go away, when we were several years away from puberty? etc etc?
Post Merge: February 01, 2010, 06:03:44 AM
To paraphrase: what I will never understand is these young fools who haven't a clue about the fact that sex change wasn't generally available until we were well past puberty and even then there may not have been any local way to access info let alone find therapis, hormones and surgeons.
Pia's attack is basically the same as Blanchard and Baileys discredited crap.
And can I ask everyone and especially Pia to go read Anne Vitale's Tnote #6 Mid Life Awakaneing which explains perfectly why 'some old MtF transitioners etc...www.avitale.com (http://www.avitale.com)
I did the string thing when I was about 8 or 9. Very, very painful. I also despised the masculinization of my body and did not want all that hair growing on it.
Thanks for the like to the avitale site. I had lost it somewhere along the line. And thank you for your measured response to those who have yet to walk a mile, let alone a mile in our moccasins.
-Sandy
Hmmm, interesting question. Since I hated just about everything about my malish body, and took steps to uhm, make it not so malish, I had to remember that this part of the body is needed for my SRS. So, do I hate it? No, but I don't like it either. I know I have to use it for...well, purposes outside of sex, but that is all. I find it a bit of a nuiscense, and it gets in the bloody way, and isn't what I see in my minds eye. I know one day it will be gone, and I will be happy, just like I was when I had my orchy, I was thrilled as I knew I would no longer have the up hill battle with Testosterone. One step at a time, is still a step....
Quote from: Dorothy on January 29, 2010, 04:56:29 AM
I appreciate the honesty of some of the posters here. My kudos to you.
What I will never understand is why some old MTF transitioners get marry 4, 5, 6 times as men, have 4, 5, 6 kids & then they wake up one foggy Thursday & say that they've "always hated their plumbing so much" ::). If you hated your plumbing so much, why did you get marry 4, 5, 6 times? If you hated it so much why did you have 4, 5, 6 kids?. To me that tells me that you didn't "hate" it but liked it. If you liked it, be honest with yourself & say so instead of engaging yourself in semantics to deceive people. I can't stand that. It pisses me off.
thread rez
+1
That may have been the most amazing thread rez evar. Nearly 3 years. I got an email for it. I said to myself, "Hmmm, from susans huh? I haven't been on there in AGES!"
Quote from: Samantharz on October 28, 2012, 10:31:05 AM
That may have been the most amazing thread rez evar. Nearly 3 years. I got an email for it. I said to myself, "Hmmm, from susans huh? I haven't been on there in AGES!"
girl, you already know ;)
I know it's a necro thread, but this is a good topic.
To answer the question, I am 24 now and only just started my transition. But I will cover some of my more sexual feelings, I can't really give a short answer to this, I'm full of mixed feelings.
I have been in a relationship with a girl for a few years about 2 years ago, but I always knew I was at least bi sexual, I enjoyed anal sex and being submissive. I would occasionally fantasize about men and always imagine my self as a girl. She eventually caught me crossdressing and I tried to convince her to be "the man" and treat me like a girl, well that was a quick way to end a relationship. But it was for the best, I finally accepted to myself the truth I always knew.
I would often crossdress in private, but it was never autoerotic in itself, actually most of the time I didn't want to have an erection, I always wished that it would just go away and I could tuck my genitalia to "pass" better even when involved in private autoerotic activities. I wanted to just have an orgasm like a normal girl.
Now that I'm transitioning, I find I get erections much less often, especially when involved in autoerotic activities when en femme. I avoid even orgasm involving my penis these days, because I'm satisfied just from the anal penetration and the fantasy alone, just knowing that I've accepted I'm a woman has made all the difference. However, I still give in sometimes and I always regret having to orgasm like a male, I wish I just didn't have that urge but I guess since it's autoerotic it's probably a desire for some kind of closure. Which would normally be received emotionally when with a man.
As for actually having the "equipment", I'm not interested in fooling any men by going stealth, I would want anyone to accept me as a trans woman and to know I'm trans. I feel this way I will find someone who truely accepts me for who I am. So in the sense of "passing", I guess I don't mind it. I haven't had any real experiences with men to actually make a judgement on how I feel about having it, or erections, or orgasms, while with a man.
I'm also quite scared of SRS, since I'm not a very depressive person, sure, I've had my bouts of depression throughout the years and very serious but I've always found the will the carry on and "deal with it" (which was just denial, I think this is the crux of your question, some people go on for years in this denial mode and just survive) so I couldn't see myself being so dysphoric about my penis for it to persaude me to get something as serious as SRS, at least not right now. I guess it will depend on my future sexual experiences and how it will affect them, if I find a man who loves me for who I am and is fine with it, why shouldn't I be fine with it?
I guess what I'm saying is, I am a woman, I feel like a woman, I talk like a woman and I will look like a woman, and everyone (including my bf) will treat me like a woman, so what does it matter if I have a useless spout between my legs? As long as I can be satisfied sexually and satisfy someone sexually. Basically, having the wrong genitalia isn't the most important part of my "passing" as a woman and being happy.
(I know this opens a whole bag of worms about "what kind" of man would want to be with someone like that, why wouldn't they want me to go through SRS? etc. but I figure, if I'm happy and he is happy, who really cares? No reason to create a problem out of nothing.)
Wow, that was very personal and long, but feels good to get it out tho! ;D
Mine doesn't work very well and I'm glad it doesn't. I don't like having erections... never did. They have always been extremely embarrassing to me, even when I was being intimate with somebody. I've always been disgusted that I had one and I'll be happy when it's gone and replaced with something I can be comfortable with.
At around 7 months, it was very hard to get/ maintain an erection when I wanted it. That's frustrating. I don't mind having a dick, but I do dislike it in a way.
If I could get an erection, sure, i'd probably just get an orchi. But without erections, it's literally useless for anything sexual. Months ago, I used to think that I wouldn't mind keeping my dick, as it saves a lot of money, but more and more, my thoughts changed and it's less and less appealing.
As for why so many of us didn't transition until later in life, try imagining being threatened with or actually treated with electro-shock therapy as a child. Of being shown pictures of huge and very masculine cross dressing males and asked if you want to end up like that. Of being repeatedly told by society and all its institutions that having the feelings you do have are signs of perversion, that you are a "monster", a "danger" to normal people, that you are "evil", "sinful", and destined to the fires of hell.
Try taking all that on as a young child and you tell me how long it takes you to eventually shake off that massive guilt and fear trip to where you can finally face yourself. The 1950s and 1960s were not the good ole' days. They were a period of insecurity, fears, and rabid anti-GLBT phobias. Unfortunately there is still a part of society today that is just as backwards now as it was then.
Guilt and fear are tremendous drivers of behavior but eventually guilt fades and fear is replaced by real knowledge. It is then that so many of us discovered that we no longer need to hide or be afraid.
I haven't even begun HRT and mine doesn't work. Oh well, that's sleep deprivation for you. :P
As far as hating it, I don't really hate anything. It's way too strong word. I'm a bit of a pragmatist in the sense that I value logic and practicality, so while it's not an optimal genital arrangement, I'll use what I have. Doesn't make me any less of a girl. For example, lesbians use strap-on phallus sometimes, yet they're still girls. So what if my "strap-on" just so happens to be permanent? :laugh:
Also, my sister is a heterosexual biological female with no affiliation to the LGBT community aside from me and a few of her LGBT friends. She blatantly told me, "I hate my vagina." I asked her if she was trans and she said, "No, I just don't like my vagina, it's gross and so high-maintenance."
So now the question is whether or not you hate a vagina... :laugh:
Quote from: DianaP on October 29, 2012, 05:59:19 PM
So now the question is whether or not you hate a vagina... :laugh:
Yes. I hate vaginas, but only the vaginas on other people.
I hate erections. I simply like my sex drive more than I hate getting erections.
Quote from: DianaP on October 29, 2012, 05:59:19 PM
So now the question is whether or not you hate a vagina... :laugh:
Personally, all genitals are gross. I remember the first time seeing a porn mag and thinking, and still do, WTF is that!??! A vagina looks like an open wound. A penis and testes look like a pendulous, amorphous lump of deformed flesh. Being absolutely smooth down there would seem an improvement, but wouldn't be exactly a 'human' look.
I think that vaginas and penises are neat looking and I am not grossed out by either at all.
I only like looking at penises on some men :D
i dont like erections as its something idont have the desire to use for its purpose. for the same reasons i feel i have the wrong plumbing. it sort of screw up sex as i want the bits to receive not give. i dont hate it its just something thats always been wrong. unlike some ive never done the man thing of family ect i could never get passed mental confusion having tried normal sex once and it felt awfully wrong.
I don't want it, I only tolerate it. But I don't neglect my sexual health because right now its all I got. As in, I dont hate it as much as some but I am starting to understand what my friend says that its "Not a part of me".
Granted, if it were with another person I would feel gross. It has always made me feel gross when with another person... Its like once my clothes came off I just lost my mood :(
I gotta say in terms of auto, its feels absolutely amazing. Every feeling is like 100000x more intense.... yet its so emotion based. It makes me happy, I feel even with it my ------ is very feminine. I am not going to go too much into it I have in another post and well I am a bit more bashful now especially as I learn how others treat me as a woman. ;D
enjoy it? Hmmm...only a man would enjoy an erection.
Quote from: Dorothy on December 05, 2012, 06:31:50 PM
enjoy it? Hmmm...only a man would enjoy an erection.
What about a lesbian? I know one on these forums who likes having a "built-in toy."
Somewhere between tolerate and hate. It's just another reminder that I'm not quite right.
I'm OK with it as long as it doesn't demand attention when I wake up in the middle of the night...
I figure that I have it, I might as well us it.
If the thing never got big again it would be just fine with me! Gone altogether even better ;)
And for the record, I have never said the "P" word...ever! I just can't do it
Quote from: Michelle G on December 05, 2012, 10:23:59 PM
If the thing never got big again it would be just fine with me! Gone altogether even better ;)
Well, SRS doesn't remove it, just reshapes it. :P
I can never afford it, so I'll just have to make the best of a relatively crummy situation. :(
I can't say that I loathe my genitals. Honestly, my face bothers me so much more that if FFS is the only surgery I can have, I'll be happy. That said, I'll be happy if HRT kills my ability to have an erection, because that state more than my penis itself makes me feel male. I've never used it for penetration, and never will.
I could tolerate at denial phase and even can enjoy sex with girl (after some training) it was not so natural to me, but I love to hug with other girls so it was acceptable and so bad
But as I becoming me, it is worse and worse
I would say I tolerate it. I would jump at GRS surgery in a heartbeat, but that might be awhile so I'm not going to fret over it until then. I am not sure how I will handle it if I get into a relationship with a man that actually accepts it before I have surgery.
Quote from: Dorothy on December 05, 2012, 06:31:50 PM
enjoy it? Hmmm...only a man would enjoy an erection.
I dunno. This seems to be based on a fallacy that gender is all about what's between your legs. I don't feel that's the case. I guess it's all personal POV, but to me that seems like one of the least important things when it comes to a person's gender. It doesn't even come into play for 99% of our lives.
Quote from: Dorothy on December 05, 2012, 06:31:50 PM
enjoy it? Hmmm...only a man would enjoy an erection.
I don't really agree with this. Though my penis is certainly not my favorite body part, I do know how to use it to make myself (and others) feel good. So, that could mean I enjoy it and I certainly am not a man.
I have always enjoyed erections and the sexual release that comes from it, however i still hate having something there and it still bothers me, its a catch 22 situation really.
Well, I don't mind getting joy out of it, even if i rarely do. I suppose I am indifferent to those parts, things like my face and voice bother me much more.
I do not feel my sex life makes me less of a woman, I mean the parts I have bother me, but I am still alive and until I can get them fixed I see no good reason not to get what little joy I fan out of those parts.
I don't think I would view anyone different no matter if they were disgusted or not with thier parts.
If it makes anyone feel better, my biological non-trans sister says that she hates her vagina. She thinks that it needs too much work. :laugh:
Probably TMI... but here goes. I tolerate it, but i would say my face and upper body are what hurt my self image most more than it. But If i get aroused i just mentally imagine its different (i dont look at it it ruins the image) and focus more on the warm fuzzy tingling internal spasmatic girl feelings than the weird boy ones going on outside. My gf likes it and knows i dont like cause i tuck when im with her, and its understood that if she wants my male appendage then she has to treat me as a female at some point. I put up with it because sex is natural an healthy. I'm not gonna deny that natural feeling to myself but if i can get away with it i tuck it away an go with what fits my body image the best. I experience things way more intense an pleasurable that way. So in short like everyone else I wish it was "reshaped". i dont really enjoy it, however i dont hate it, cause i know i need it, if i want in the future to have the right anatomy for me
i enjoy getting erections and have never disliked having a penis , but i feel just as strong gender dysphoria about the other parts of my body and the social role everything etc that other transexuals do feel too , im just about to start hormones soon and i still do have worries about loosing erections etc, but also if i dont take hormones ageing as a male and my body becoming my enemy etc is just as scary too , so idk i kind of wish i hated it it would make the decision to chemically transition easier , but i dont
I thankful I never got them that often. (It doesn't work right to begin with and doesn't feel right) Watching paint dry would be more enjoyable. For the most part I don't even realize that it's really there unless it's acting up.