Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Post operative life => Topic started by: Icephoenyx on July 13, 2013, 10:22:57 PM

Title: MtF Post Op Intercourse Issues
Post by: Icephoenyx on July 13, 2013, 10:22:57 PM
Or are they issues?

I'm 1.5 yrs post op, went to Brassard, and have only had intercourse a handful of times since then. A week and a half ago I had it again and unfortunately it doesn't look like I'm physically ready yet, still! It only lasted about 20 mins or so but by the end of it I couldn't wait to have him out of there and I was sore for almost two days after. It was the same soreness I felt when I was one week post op!

Also, after we finished when I got up there was a fairly big puddle left where I was of light pink moisture. It seemed to be a combination of blood, lube and semen.

Am I ever going to enjoy sex? or even have the slightest chance of an orgasm one day? This particular guy knew about me being trans but I feel these complications may get me into some trouble if they make the wrong guy suspicisous, since I don't think GG's have intercourse trouble like this.

Any input would be great, thanks!
Title: Re: MtF Post Op Intercourse Issues
Post by: Jamie D on July 13, 2013, 11:35:05 PM
Practice makes perfect   ;)
Title: Re: MtF Post Op Intercourse Issues
Post by: Northern Jane on July 14, 2013, 03:52:01 AM
You should consult your surgeon or a local gynecologist - a year and a half is too long. You should have been healed and fully (normally) functional within a couple of months.
Title: Re: MtF Post Op Intercourse Issues
Post by: Tristan on July 14, 2013, 06:09:47 AM
Yeah that does not sound like its within the normal? I agree you should contact your surgeon and a gyno, if you have a gyno in your areas that's familiar with post ops that's even better
Title: Re: MtF Post Op Intercourse Issues
Post by: JennX on July 14, 2013, 09:00:37 AM
Quote from: Northern Jane on July 14, 2013, 03:52:01 AM
You should consult your surgeon or a local gynecologist - a year and a half is too long. You should have been healed and fully (normally) functional within a couple of months.

I agree.

I was told to wait 8 weeks for PIV intercourse after SRS by my surgeon. Being the cautious type, I waited 16 weeks to be safe. I haven't had any of the issues you mention. After 1.5 years there shouldn't be any bleeding. Also the pain/soreness you describe doesn't sound normal. Post-op PIV sex shouldn't (at least IMHE) feel as you've described it. I'd contact Dr. Brassard's office asap and make them aware of the issues.
Title: Re: MtF Post Op Intercourse Issues
Post by: Northern Jane on July 14, 2013, 03:51:13 PM
Quote from: JennX on July 14, 2013, 09:00:37 AMI was told to wait 8 weeks for PIV intercourse after SRS

I was told to wait 3 months ..... I lasted 6 weeks  :o May be the shortest virginity EVER! LOL!

But after 1.5 years, this shouldn't be happening!
Title: Re: MtF Post Op Intercourse Issues
Post by: Jenna Marie on July 14, 2013, 04:32:16 PM
I kinda agree and disagree with everyone. :) This isn't ideal and it's probably not the most common outcome by 1.5 years post-op... but it's also not unheard of for cis women to have similar problems (I had a girl friend in college who said she was sore for days every time she had sex, and also that 20 minutes was a LONG time to have some guy jackhammering away). So since you're not happy about it, you absolutely should talk to the surgeon, but a guy probably won't confront you over it - and if he does, say it's been a while since you had sex last and/or you need a lot of lube, but don't "confess" that you're trans if you don't want to. A guy who claims that never happens to cis women is either ignorant or a jerk or both.
Title: Re: MtF Post Op Intercourse Issues
Post by: calico on July 15, 2013, 04:23:27 PM
Quote from: Jenna Marie on July 14, 2013, 04:32:16 PM
I kinda agree and disagree with everyone. :) This isn't ideal and it's probably not the most common outcome by 1.5 years post-op... but it's also not unheard of for cis women to have similar problems (I had a girl friend in college who said she was sore for days every time she had sex, and also that 20 minutes was a LONG time to have some guy jackhammering away). So since you're not happy about it, you absolutely should talk to the surgeon, but a guy probably won't confront you over it - and if he does, say it's been a while since you had sex last and/or you need a lot of lube, but don't "confess" that you're trans if you don't want to. A guy who claims that never happens to cis women is either ignorant or a jerk or both.

+1 I have heard similarly from other gg's , sometimes being sore happens, especially the longer he last or different positions are used.
at 3 months 2weeks post op I commenced sexual relations with the guy I am with, the first time it hurt, had some blood but afterwards no blood.  I have been sore however, but my fella isn't small, and he last more than 20 minutes, and like multiple positions. I have been sore to the point of even dilating hurts  :-\ but there isn't any blood so....  I also blame the hurting on me becoming way more sexually active than I ever have 4-5 times per week we have been doing it  :o ::)  but in you case, I would prob contact brassard, and a gyno, in the beginning, sure I could believe since its all new not 100% healed but  years? yea definitely contact him and the gyno like everyone has suggested.
Title: Re: MtF Post Op Intercourse Issues
Post by: Icephoenyx on July 15, 2013, 11:34:09 PM
I will email them tonight. I am relatively 'shallow' according to Dr B, and my dilators don't go in as far as they should, ever since the beginning. Could this have something to do with it?

Also its not really blood I don't think its a pinkish liquid, so I'm assuming there's blood in it. Def some lube and possibly sperm there too. Do any of you other post ops find sex to be this messy? Or know if this happens to GG's too?
Title: Re: MtF Post Op Intercourse Issues
Post by: Jenna Marie on July 16, 2013, 04:35:34 PM
(Blood can in fact go a *long* way when diluted, as you suspect; a very small amount could tint a lot of other liquid.)

I'm with a female partner, so I don't have one aspect of the mess to deal with, but I still leave a puddle, yeah. It's partly my own lubrication, partly leftover lube. I can only imagine that adding a couple teaspoons of semen wouldn't help (and my wife says it used to leak out enough to soak her underpants for up to a day after we had sex, back in the day). There wouldn't be all those jokes about the wet spot if cis women didn't also have a messy aftermath to sex. ;)
Title: Re: MtF Post Op Intercourse Issues
Post by: Vicky on July 17, 2013, 12:09:35 AM
I vote toward the gynecologist issue, you could have a yeast infection that does make you pretty raw down there.  There is some roughness to your IRL boyfriend that Orville Orange doesn't have that could be rubbing a little rash patch from the infection.
Title: Re: MtF Post Op Intercourse Issues
Post by: Icephoenyx on July 17, 2013, 11:38:14 AM
Quote from: Jenna Marie on July 16, 2013, 04:35:34 PM
(Blood can in fact go a *long* way when diluted, as you suspect; a very small amount could tint a lot of other liquid.)

I'm with a female partner, so I don't have one aspect of the mess to deal with, but I still leave a puddle, yeah. It's partly my own lubrication, partly leftover lube. I can only imagine that adding a couple teaspoons of semen wouldn't help (and my wife says it used to leak out enough to soak her underpants for up to a day after we had sex, back in the day). There wouldn't be all those jokes about the wet spot if cis women didn't also have a messy aftermath to sex. ;)

I thought wet jokes came from cis girls getting moist down there when they are turned on, without intercourse.

So Dr. B's office said to talk to a gyno, so I got my referral today. Hope this clears up,  I didn't realize my situation would be so uncommon.
Title: Re: MtF Post Op Intercourse Issues
Post by: Jenna Marie on July 17, 2013, 11:52:58 AM
Wet jokes, maybe, but I'm referring to jokes/comments about the wet spot in the bed. :)  That, at least in the jokes, only happens when you combine female lubrication, vigorous activity, and some male contributions.

(I've read books where women self-lubricate enough to run down their legs, but never met a living cis woman who reported it. Yet.)

I hope the gyno can help!
Title: Re: MtF Post Op Intercourse Issues
Post by: Beth Andrea on July 17, 2013, 12:03:00 PM
Quote from: Jenna Marie on July 17, 2013, 11:52:58 AM
Wet jokes, maybe, but I'm referring to jokes/comments about the wet spot in the bed. :)  That, at least in the jokes, only happens when you combine female lubrication, vigorous activity, and some male contributions.

(I've read books where women self-lubricate enough to run down their legs, but never met a living cis woman who reported it. Yet.)

I hope the gyno can help!

Just the dead ones, eh? LOL  ;)

Quote from: Icephoenyx on July 15, 2013, 11:34:09 PM
I will email them tonight. I am relatively 'shallow' according to Dr B, and my dilators don't go in as far as they should, ever since the beginning. Could this have something to do with it?

Also its not really blood I don't think its a pinkish liquid, so I'm assuming there's blood in it. Def some lube and possibly sperm there too. Do any of you other post ops find sex to be this messy? Or know if this happens to GG's too?

If it happens again, just say, "this probably wouldn't happen if you weren't so darn BIG!" Guys tend to like that kind of comment.
Title: Re: MtF Post Op Intercourse Issues
Post by: jade on October 05, 2013, 05:42:16 PM
Yes you are right, GG's do not have this problem.

There are a few possibilities; you may be lacking lubrication which caused friction, you may have broken scar tissue inside or have a small tear.

I suggest you discuss it with your surgeon and take up dilation as a hobby if you already aren't doing it.

Hope you recover xo
Title: Re: MtF Post Op Intercourse Issues
Post by: Adam (birkin) on October 05, 2013, 11:02:26 PM
Quote from: Jenna Marie on July 17, 2013, 11:52:58 AM
(I've read books where women self-lubricate enough to run down their legs, but never met a living cis woman who reported it. Yet.)

I can tell you that this does in fact happen, lol, but I don't think it is very common. A lot of cis women actually need lube to be able to have sex at all.
Title: Re: MtF Post Op Intercourse Issues
Post by: Jenna Marie on October 05, 2013, 11:03:17 PM
Caleb : Well, it's good to know it's not total fiction. :) Lucky lady!