Topic: How does your partner and their family react?

[BearGuy]

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How do they treat you? Did they know you were trans from the beginning, or found out within time?


I'm a transguy. My girlfriend's mom and her mom's friends think negative of me. They never said it straight to my face, but I hear it from my girlfriend all the time, how they talk about me, and how much it irritates and angers her to hear it. Her mom told her yesterday "She looks freaky, it's not normal. Changing her name and try to be a guy it goes against nature and the way you were born its okay to be gay but not trying to be the opposite gender. Everyone thinks that something is wrong with you for being with her. We all think its freaky." She says this a lot to her. Her mother always, always calls me a girl and "she's" me.

Yep, that's the kind of treatment I get. It disgusts me how middle aged adults can judge a kid (I'm 18, so compared to them, I'm obviously a kid). Ugly people on the inside.

[Simon]

I'm 31 and my gf is 27. In February we'll have been together nine years. The only person in her family that knows about me is her dad. After his divorce he told me a secret about himself so to make him feel better I told him about me. Since then he and I have had a falling out. We haven't seen each other in about two years. We have remained true to each other and not said anything. At least he hasn't told anyone about me that I know of. I haven't told a soul about him.

It can work out with her parents not liking you. That is their prerogative really. If they want to be asses there isn't much you can do about it. Just don't let it effect your relationship with her. I ended up distancing myself from my gf's family. Had nothing to do with me being trans but I don't like them and they don't like me. My gf can go see them whenever. I couldn't care less when she sees them but after what they did to me we decided it was better if I stayed away from them.

That way if my gf's relationship with her family goes sour it has nothing to do with me...and I like it that way. They like to argue and cause commotion and I won't be a part of that environment. 

[Miniar]

I first introduced myself to my husband's family as "freetha"
I was his "girlfriend" and then his "wife"
I hesitated and procrastinated coming out to them as it didn't quite feel like I knew them well enough to word things right, but eventually, before our last visit, I bit the bullet and wrote them a letter which he sent to them as an attachment to an email he wrote to them himself.
Turned out that his folks were as awesome as mine.
There was no negative backlash, from anyone in the family.
I even got offered to contribute to an LGBT program that someone in the family (I'm rubbish with names and the "titles" of different family connections in english, in Icelandic your male relatives that aren't brothers or fathers or grandfathers are "frændi" and the female ones that aren't sisters or mothers or grandmothers are "frænka") set up or ran, can't quite remember.
I got introduced to all the "queer" folk in the family, or more of 'em than before, and so on.

No pressures, a couple questions as to how ppl around my side of the pond were taking it was pretty much it.

[insideontheoutside]

My partner's fine with it all. No one in his family knows. They just think I'm the "wife". We very rarely ever seen any of his family so it's not really an issue.

[girl you look fierce]

Wow, sorry to hear that OP

My boyfriend's parents are lovely to me. They do know because I moved in with my bf when I was pre-hrt and the situation forced me to be outed before they even met me, but they are just really great about it, they treat me just like any other girl and even though they know they couldn't imagine me as not a girl.

[Celery Stalk]

Oh my, someone told me once, a long time ago about the coming-out process. People are going to surprise you and they could not have been more right.

Example

Before transition, my family was the super fun loving, inclusive group that everyone felt comfortable to be around.
After transition, my family has all but rejected me. I haven't spoken to anyone but my mother, and that is rarely and strained, in a very long time. I haven't seen them for even longer.


Before transition, my in-laws were orthodox, intensely catholic types with a stick stuffed too far up the you-know-what. Socially conservative, often expressing contempt against anyone different than themselves. Judgmental and oppressive.

After transition, I was accepted as soon as we told them. They said they don't understand it but that's not what is important. My partner and I love each other and they wish us the best. Name and pronouns shifted immediately without us even asking for it and there has not been a relapse to date. Can't say political debates go smoothly, but hey .. I can let that go considering.

Odd how life turns out sometimes, isn't it?