I honestly thought that my psychiatrist was amazing. And then today happens. I brought up the fact that I do want to get on T.
Long story short, she says I need to make a plan. And somehow this plan can extend for years. Apparently before I take T, I need to fit in getting a job/car. She kept talking about this crap. I REALLY do not see how this is relevant. I am fine with waiting a whole frekin year for the damn T. But I'm not willing to wait years. And at one point she even stated, "It's a rare thing for gay men to want children." First of all, let me say I'm not gay, but we were talking about how I wanted kids. And how I might have to postpone my "plan" if I wanted them. I thought it was so ignorant that she said that about gay men. Where the hell is she getting her statistics?
And what I hate more than anything is that she is in a way shoving down my throat that I need to see a support group. The nearest one would be 2 hours away! I can't do that! Apart from the fact that I DON'T want to.
I guess the worst part is that she was just really wishy washy. I really couldn't get a feel for when she would help me out. At this point I'm stuck with her. I'm just going to write a "plan" and show it to her next time I see her or some crap like that.
Another thing that bothered me was the fact that she said "Everyone has something they don't like about themselves. And sometimes it's just impossible to change it." How is someone not liking their hair or their boobs the same as being born in the wrong frekin body?
In the end she did say, "I know you're going to do this blah blah blah" but still. So many things rubbed me the wrong way. Maybe I'm just easily bothered by things. I don't know.
Part of why I've completely avoided therapists... Personally, I don't buy into the whole mantra that trans people need to see "gender therapists" or therapists at all. Things are changing (at least in Canada) to a point where you don't need to see a therapist in order to get T, you only need to do so to get government funded surgery (which I think should change and given the way things are going, probably will change). I've had two counselors (one a transguy, the other a queer ciswoman) and had good experiences with both of them trying to help me be me faster, rather than throw roadblocks in front of you. In that might be key, as well. Getting a counselor who is trans themselves or who is, in some way, a part of the lgbt/queer community.
I do agree that support groups are great and I'm 100% pro-support group, but if you don't want to go to one, then that's your choice. I just think its a great way to get advice from other trans people (who, imo, give better advice through experience than any therapist), access to resources, trans-positive doctors/health care, to have people to relate to/avoid isolating yourself, make new friends and be in a more positive/accepting and supportive environment that doesn't demonise us as "mentally ill."
Your therapist sounds like a quack (like most of them), though. Getting on T is not a huge process, and you can definitely get it within months to a year. Depending on where you live, all you might need to do is to see your family doctor or a trans-positive doctor and tell her/him what's going on, you go for blood work and if everything checks out you're good to go. If you live in a place that requires you to get a letter/get counseling it might take longer...but still...years? Car/job? Wtf is this therapist on about?