FTM Make-Up -- Facial Hair Make-Up Opinion and Help!

[jasmatt]

Hey awesome guys, how's it going?

As you all may know, I'm new here and ever since mid-October of 2012, I've came out and understood that I am a transman—however, I haven't changed my name yet since I'm going on an overseas trip for 6 months soon and I probably can't change my passport quick enough along with other crucial information too within a 3 month time period (leaving in July, coming back to the states in January of next year), not on hormones yet, but I have a binder and a packer, I do all I can to pass through clothes and haircuts, and so on that's pretty much the instant changes I can do without doing things that'll take a while to alter with legal documents.

Anyways, without boring you all to tears, I'm just going to go ahead and get down to the question.

When it comes down to FTM make-up, is it totally fine to draw on fake facial hair?

I ask this because my features look too soft, or just way too clean to pass as a male most of the time. No matter how much I try to naturally deepen my voice and avoid an attempt to 'dupe' someone into fitting a 'role', I just want for them to see me as the man I am, to be recognized as a male by many and pray for acceptance in any form. I don't ever want to trick someone, if it's possible, I just want to be me—a man born in the wrong body who's fighting tooth and nail to show himself and be comfortable. It's pretty painful to try my best day after day and keep getting kicked down by others since, well, it's how society goes I suppose. I know better time after time to not let it get to me and through the support of my amazing fiancé who's a pre-hormone transman as well (we're going through this and discovered each other together!), I know I'll soon have my day in the sun to match how I truly feel inside through treatment down the road when things are all in the right place with plans.

I just look so much better with facial hair, even drawn on, I look much better and there's such a large difference when I wash it off for the night. I tried to go out today with the make-up, gathering up my courage and trying my best not to feel so paranoid that someone's going to call me out on it since I'm obviously different, and I had gotten a remark towards my drawn on (I thought it looks pretty convincing from a distance) facial hair that said "Did you go to the circus/carnival today?" to which I tried to play around with and politely said "Nah." The woman who made the comment then nodded her head and replied in a neutral tone "Ah okay, cool."

I feel so much more confident with my drawn on facial hair, but I'm worried that it may become more of an issue than ever, you know? Since it'll be noticeable up front with no dimensions at all than a flat drawn on texture, of course, it can be noticed up front but may be passable in the distance.

For some unknown reason, I just feel that it's more common for MTF pre-transitioning women to wear make-up and people really won't say a thing at all to them, but I guess for men like me trying to feel so happy with the best they can make-do with at facial hair, comments will be said. I just wish that FTM make-up that goes the whole nine yards could be treated as every other ways-of-life/lifestyle groups that are associated with make-up, like how goths of any gender sometimes wear face paint/make-up and bold lipsticks to be who they are. I understand that it's not for ~fashion~ and I'm not saying it's a fad, it was just a little comparison to other lifestyles that use make-up is all. If I'm wrong about this silly feeling without any malice or grumbling behind it on my behalf, I mean no harm or picking on anyone or anything at all, please feel free to correct me. I'm here to learn and gather up information to help me with this life changing process towards happiness.

I'm wanting to go into work fixing myself up to how I see myself to feel comfortable within my own skin until treatment comes into play... And I really feel that a lot of costume facial hair is just way too obvious more than make-up ones are, I can't find anything good enough than what make-up can do.

So once again, is it fine for a man like me to put on the best he can make-up facial hair or will I look like a fool begging to be picked on? Please guys, I really need your help...

[aleon515]

Well I don't think there is anything at all wrong in doing it and you look cool in the picture (so it's a great way to do a photo for fb or something). I don't have any idea how realistic this looks closer up, like walking into a store and buying something and not getting ma'amed. I mean for me it is my worse  dysphoria since I feel male inside so why don't they see it. I don't know how old you are or when you'd get on T. You won't get facial hair too fast but your face will change shape.

You might look up on youtube, there is a butch who uses mascara. The thing is that she is using it on hair that is already there, basically coloring it. I think it looks pretty real. I have no idea how she has such a steady hand. You can use stage hair, but again very few people can pull this off very successfully. Anyway might be fun to play with. It's called crepe wool and it's applied with spirit glue.


Also if you are not in a really trans friendly area, be careful. I don't actually know if this would be "worse" than wearing male clothes though.


--Jay

[Nygeel]

I've done some pretty decent looking facial hair before. It's subtle and looks more realistic than drawn on stuff. The first thing you have to understand is with your skin type, facial structure, etc you don't look like the kind of face that can grow a full beard. If you look at how facial hair grows in, it generally grows under chin and from sideburns down. Mustache area comes in very thin and becomes thicker later on. I would go with subtle facial hair. Long sideburns and/or some chin whiskers but nothing far on the front of the chin.

My two methods are either getting mascara that's a similar color to the hair on your head or getting crepe wool. Crepe wool is pretty much hair. It comes braided. Get some scissors and cut some very fine pieces of hair. The shorter the better. Cut it onto a white plate so you can easily see it. Then you want to apply an adhesive to the parts of your face that should get facial hair. Get a blush brush to pick up the hair and brush it on your face in the direction you think the hair would grow. Sideburns are down strokes. Then brush with another blush brush with baby powder to knock off hairs that didn't stick.

[Natkat]

when speaking of trend I think of it abit as queer fashion. at least I remember alot of women/men who draw on beard to queer events and suchs.
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I used to draw beard for costume not for everyday life.
I belive your to do what you like and I do think it looks cool, but I dont think drawed beard are to look natural even when you try really really hard.
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a friend of mine said he used to buy fake eyelashes and glue some of his hair on it, and then aply it on laysers to make mustache and such things, but I never tried it myself.
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most of what I tried been to bye a "eyebrown pen, to draw up the hair I already got a bit darker. it dosent give an extrem result in fact it almost imposible to overdo, but its also good as your to get it more natural looking.
I also know a guy who coloured his hair darker in general, But sure these things only work if you have alittle hair already to use on.
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I seen in sweden you can buy some kind of fake beard you can glue on, I never heard of it before and not sure of the name of it but maybe someone ells know or I could figure out the name maybe?

if you see this movie you see the girl who is being dress up as a guy is using it.
http://www.svt.se/sex-veckor/denna-vecka-dragkingande-och-tankelasning-pa-krogen

[DriftingCrow]

If you like it and feel great, then go for it!
Just don't expect to pass too well/often unless you do something a little more realistic looking, like Nygeel suggests.

For some unknown reason, I just feel that it's more common for MTF pre-transitioning women to wear make-up and people really won't say a thing at all to them, but I guess for men like me trying to feel so happy with the best they can make-do with at facial hair, comments will be said. I just wish that FTM make-up that goes the whole nine yards could be treated as every other ways-of-life/lifestyle groups that are associated with make-up, like how goths of any gender sometimes wear face paint/make-up and bold lipsticks to be who they are. I understand that it's not for ~fashion~ and I'm not saying it's a fad, it was just a little comparison to other lifestyles that use make-up is all. If I'm wrong about this silly feeling without any malice or grumbling behind it on my behalf, I mean no harm or picking on anyone or anything at all, please feel free to correct me. I'm here to learn and gather up information to help me with this life changing process towards happiness.

I think MTFs can wear makeup because, well, it's really common for women to wear make-up, where it's still taboo for men. Cis-women, along with some MTFs use the makeup to soften facial features, etc. so I think it's less likely that someones going to say something to a woman, or someone who they might be not entirely sure is female about wearing make-up (though I am sure there's some MTFs here who's had crap said to them about wearing make-up). I think the MTFs are using the make-up in a more typical way, where it's not really used to draw on hair. But, no one is going to accept those drawing on facial hair as a lifestyle unless someone starts doing it outside of a dragking show, so go out there and build some roads or whatever the saying is.

[Sly]

I've never seen drawn-on facial hair that looks realistic.  Sometimes it looks okay in photos, but in person it's pretty obvious.

If you're trying to make your face look less feminine, try using a couple different shades of foundation.  One that matches your skintone and one a little darker.  Use the darker one on/under your cheekbones, on your eye sockets etc and blend it with the lighter one.  This image is a pretty good guide:

[wheat thins are delicious]

I think MTFs can wear makeup because, well, it's really common for women to wear make-up, where it's still taboo for men. Cis-women, along with some MTFs use the makeup to soften facial features, etc. so I think it's less likely that someones going to say something to a woman, or someone who they might be not entirely sure is female about wearing make-up (though I am sure there's some MTFs here who's had crap said to them about wearing make-up). I think the MTFs are using the make-up in a more typical way, where it's not really used to draw on hair. But, no one is going to accept those drawing on facial hair as a lifestyle unless someone starts doing it outside of a dragking show, so go out there and build some roads or whatever the saying is.

This, women typically wear make-up, so it's natural for a trans woman to wear make-up.  You don't see men drawing on their facial hair, so for someone trying to pass as male to do it, that's going to hinder their passablity imo.  I've never seen fake facial hair that could pass as real, not even those done with techniques drag kings use.  They look good in pictures, can even pass as real in pictures, but in person they are obviously fake. 

[Simon]

I think you'd have an easier time passing without the fake hair. Without it you'll look really young but that's better than people wondering why you're trying so hard. Cis boys who look that young don't have facial hair. I've never seen anyone outside of drag king shows (or the internet) that has used fake facial hair.

[Jack_M]

Personally I'd never do it.  It's just another thing that can make you not pass or cause awkwardness, and depending on where you're visiting it could even be dangerous!  Although, that being said, if one wanted to identify purely as trans than try to pass as genuinely male, then it'd be fine.  The funny thing is that you're maybe passing with it from a distance, but you probably equally pass without it from a distance because people instantly come to a conclusion on overall look over specifics.  You see a guy and you know it's a guy whether or not they have facial hair because of their hair and/or clothing first, specifics later. 

So only when people get close will they really question and if you have fake facial hair, well you've given the game away right there.  I can see what you mean about having soft features but I think even without the make up that you'd at least look androgynous.  If people get up close and are still wondering, maybe throw on some male body spray like Axe/Lynx and that'll point them in the right direction (before you go out, don't whip it out and spray whenever you suspect someone's unsure!  Lol).  But for heaven's sake don't try too hard!  No one likes folk who put on too much spray, just a subtle hint they can pick up on and finally decide because a woman wouldn't dare wear male body spray!  When I was first starting out and experimenting when I was in my teens, my parents wouldn't let me have short hair but I found just simply using men's deodorant or even showering with my brother's shower gel worked wonders for anyone I suspected was on the fence, like they'd get closer and then have a light-bulb moment.  One issue is that pre T, a lot of us tend to look and sound a fair bit younger than our real age but unless you're asked your age, people will likely just assume you are younger and just roll with it.  I personally think you look too young to have facial hair like that anyway, and even if you did manage to find a realistic way to do it, the age factor could cause confusion or cause one to over scrutinise it to come to the conclusion it's fake.

You question why it's okay for MTF to wear makeup and not FTM, well, because generally, men don't wear makeup, or at least not openly!  I've read interviews where actors swear they don't use makeup and that's a flat out lie.  They have to because the lights they use when filming or on stage cause skin to look shiny so ironically they need makeup to get a more realistic skin tone, but the fact that they lie speaks volumes as to how adverse to make up guys are.  I'd say goths are different because it's not traditional makeup.  They're not trying to look "normal" at all, they're trying to look like goths!  It's all white and black for the most part.  However, as a non-goth trans man, you're trying to pass as a regular every day male, and the male consensus is: makeup = HELL NO!!!  Hell, you'll be hard pushed to find a guy who admits to using moisturiser even though some do.  That's at least starting to become a little less taboo with celebrities being used in commercials for male brand moisturisers.  Women, however, do wear makeup and are very open about it.  For women makeup is more a standard and even if it's not obvious that a woman is wearing makeup, it could well be that they are and have deliberately made it so that it isn't obvious, but purely just used to cover or hide imperfections or accent certain features.  Like Sly pointed out, trans men could use makeup to accent features to make them look more masculine.  My problem with that is that I have identified as more masculine from a young age and developed a more masculine approach to makeup.  I honestly don't have the slightest clue about wearing makeup so I dare not try now!  Lol.

[DriftingCrow]

Like Sly pointed out, trans men could use makeup to accent features to make them look more masculine.  My problem with that is that I have identified as more masculine from a young age and developed a more masculine approach to makeup.  I honestly don't have the slightest clue about wearing makeup so I dare not try now!  Lol.

Yeah I agree, I don't think I'd even use foundation/concealer/bronzer to make a more masculine looking face either. Unless someone gets extremely high quality makeup and they really know how to put it on, and have not an ounce of dry skin, it's usually easy to tell when someone is wearing it if you're at arms length from them. Then, after a few hours, people sweat a little and it makes their foreheads really shiny. I might just be a little old school, but I think it would be kind of weird to see a masculine looking man who's not a news anchor or actor going around with foundation on. 

[aleon515]

Unless you could actually walk into a store or restaurant and they would be fooled by this, but I would think not. I agree on the safety thing. It wouldn't be an issue where I live, but there are some places where "attempting to fool someone" (ok I realize you're male, but how they might see it is that you were pretending). Some cismales have a BIG issue with this, like breaking into their private club as they want the privilege to themselves. I agree that you might pass as a very young guy. I have similar features. I have pictures of myself in my 20s and had I known about binding, I would have passed as maybe 16 (in my 20s).

Wearing male clothes might be frowned on in some circles but I have really only once gotten a comment and I was in a car. I doubt they would have said this to my face.

I don't think the makeup tricks are for real life with trans guys. Might be fun for a show or trans only activity. We have a party today and  I'd do it if I were any good at it. 

--Jay

[AdamMLP]

You sound like you're asking for our permission to draw on facial hair, which suggests that you're not entirely confident in doing it.  And if you're unsure about doing something which is possibly dangerous, or socially acceptable, then I would suggest that you're not ready to take whatever stick you might get some doing it.

As other people have said, men don't draw on their facial hair, even those cis men who struggle to grow any.  So it's going to make people start to question you and look harder to see what your deal is, and then they might notice that you're trans.  From your photograph you'd pass perfectly well without any facial hair, so drawing in on might jeopardise your ability to pass.

I understand that you might feel better by drawing on the facial hair because it looks more 'right' when you see yourself in the mirror or something, but it could get potentially dangerous if you travel into a country, or region, which isn't so accepting.  People are going to see you as strange, and trying to 'fake' people into believing that you're male, more than they are if you just dress and act male.  People accept "MTF make-up" because make-up is socially a female thing to do, and they're female.  Anyway, people aren't so accepting of make-up when it's over the top, because that appears to them that they're trying too hard, just like drawn on facial hair would do.

[mangoslayer]

I personally don't think you should do it. It could hinder your passing and put you in potentially dangerous situations. If you have enough peach fuzz to do so, maybe you can dye it so it looks more like facial hair.

[LocustToybox]

I personally think that it looks good in the picture, but might not look as realistic in person. Perhaps you could try to make it more subtle? By the way, you are very cute.

[supremecatoverlord]

There's a huge difference in dimension of facial hair that's drawn and facial hair that you actually have. It's going to be really obvious to someone in real life that you have makeup on; if you don't pass completely, people are just going to think you're in a drag beyond that point or they'll assume you're doing it as some sort of joke as a guy. I don't think any testosterone fueled male is desperate enough to draw a beard on just because he has one - honestly, it's not the same thing and most people outside of the "artsy" or "genderqueer" community are just going to think you look ridiculous for walking around in public like that. If it were me, I'd wait until I was able to start hormones and hope I at least establish some facial hair from that - some guys can ever grow a full beard after a year on HRT if they are lucky.

[Jared]

I did it once for a halloween party...it looked ridiculous xD Wasn't worrying about passing cause it was for fun but I passed with it pre-T. I'm not saying the fake facial hair passed, but I did. I went to girl's bathroom cause my friend didn't felt good and I got a comment that I'm such a nice guy for helping her throwing out xD  I wasn't even out so I didn't expect to pass so it was a surprise.
Just to see:

I didn't know that my friends were taking a photo so ignore my facial expression.

[jasmatt]

To all of those who replied! (Sorry for the delay, been busy with work and life)

Thank you all so very much for the information, and as much as I hate to say it, I feel a little embarrassed to have asked such a silly question when all of you brought up obvious, common sense answers that made me want to slap my forehead and go "Aw, I should have known that!" So uh, wow, I feel like a bit of a jackass to say the least 

In truth, I've been going through some horrible dysphoria episodes here and there (they're very rare) and I snap back to reality to regain confidence again. it just felt nice to sort of have a glimpse into the future and see how facial hair could work for me, and through the power of make-up that I feel pretty dumb about, I loved what I saw. It gave me a confidence boost and I just didn't look right the moment I took it off to sleep. I suppose it ought to be a "in the house" sort of confidence booster for me than to try and go out wearing it. Tried it for a day and got mixed results about it from one person who decided to make a comment. It won't happen again, I just have to be patient. Learn from mistakes and be better for them, I only mean well than to be a joke and I sure as hell am not trying to be some joke. I'm just trying to show myself that "Hey, you are a man no matter what" and you fellas are telling me the same thing that it's okay to be without facial hair (no matter how badly I'm dying for it, good things will come to those who wait, right?)

For the record, I'm 20 years old, going to be 21 in the fall, but yeah, I guess I just have a bit of a baby face that can't be fixed until further medical procedures like testosterone to actually get somewhere, I'll just have to work with what I've got.

Again, I sincerely hope I haven't made a fool of myself. It's not that I wasn't sure of wearing make-up facial hair, I just wanted to know the views of others to help me with my decision. The situation can be compared to liking a movie that everyone else thinks is bad. Once you understand the points they bring up, you then understand what they're saying, see it in a whole new perspective and know better about it.

Thank you all for the kind views and opinions. I certainly was blinded by the wet blanket called dysphoria, but when all is cleared up and ready to see without a gloomy cloud hanging about, I feel better knowing this. Sorry about a stupid question!












Edited for profanity.

[Arch]

You look about 14 in that photo, so you might leave off the makeup and just hope that people think you are a late-ish bloomer.

Norah Vincent talks about her fake stubble in Self-Made Man--pretty much what Nygeel was describing.

[Joe.]

Nah man, don't feel like an idiot. Everyone asks stupid questions from time to time (heck, I ask them all the time). That's the whole point in Susan's. You can ask questions and get honest answers but you shouldn't feel bad about it. I don't think drawn on facial hair is a good idea whilst you're out and about, unless you know it's a safe place to do so. Nothing is stopping you from doing it in the comfort of your own home. It's all about doing what feels right and safe for you. We're all here to support you along the way.

[Jack_M]

Dude!  NEVER think yourself dumb or having asked a dumb question.  There's no stupid questions here!  You haven't made a fool of yourself at all.

I'm 28 and I get mistaken for a teen boy all the time, it's the curse of pre-T, so you're definitely not alone.  And you do look good with the facial hair so you know what could work for you when it's a reality.

Chin up, bro!