Topic: A Nero by any other name...

[Not-so Fat Admin]

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Good evening or morning guys, dolls, and unicorns.

I've neglected to talk about this because, well, a man who does not know his name is not worthy of much respect.

I've had over 3 years to decide on a name (well, a lifetime really). Now, things are happening; I'm on HRT, I've scheduled surgery, and I still don't have a name.

I've just been 'Joe'. Even as a woman. But this was just a 'comfort' name.

I guess the root of the name problem could be that I actually adore my given name. I mean, it's a beautiful name for a woman. Uncomfortable, but lovely.
Perfect. But certainly female in western society (because of my last name and the fact my birth name is actually used sometimes as a man's in the old country, I used to get mail addressed to Mr. X. Which made me very happy.)

Then there is the issue of the 'would've, should've been' name. The one I would've been given had I been born correctly. I was supposed to be Nicholas after my great uncle. Nicholas was sort of the ghost that should've been.
This really hit home in kindergarten. I was not five years old, I was wearing a dress and had long blonde curls. And there I was - sitting across the room.
Nicholas - with my short blonde hair, blue eyes, and ruddy complexion.
This other boy had my name, my looks, and my place. I couldn't concentrate for having violent fantasies about him as I sat in my chair. He soon caught on and became afraid. Told me it was impolite to stare. But I couldn't stop.
Apparently, he eventually got over it though, because one day he unceremoniously kissed me on the lips.
Clearly, he was put there to torture me. 

So the name has never been mine. I can't keep my female name. Unsure what to do and doubt I ever will be sure about a name. I've wondered about this since I first began this journey 3 years ago.
How do you pick a name for yourself? It's got to feel like me. And although I'm used to Joe, it was always more a name of convenience and comfort.
Can't really imagine myself being called Nick. That's the name that never was.

A Nero by any other name would smell like what?

[Julie Marie]

Hi Nero,

I went through a few names before deciding on Julie.  The first, Buffy, was given to me by my then spouse.  Buffy was the character played by Tom Hanks of Bosom Buddies, a show about two men mascarading as women so they could find affordable housing.  She thought it was a cute joke.  I really didn't care for the name and several years later I tried out a couple of others but they didn't stick either.  When I picked Julie it was in part because there were several Julies I knew over the years who were both attractive and fun to be with.  One was in college and I really admired her.  Then there was the keeping of initials thing, JMM, which I did.

But it still took a while to get used to Julie.  I just recently reached the point where hearing my old name sounds strange even though I was called that for over 50 years.  And referring to myself as Julie has finally become as normal as the old name once was.  It takes time.

Just my two cents...

Julie

[Rebis]

the name thing is hard.  Whatever feels right at the time, may not fit at a future time.

I think a name like Nathan, Joe, or Rick. Alex. Nick.

or, for effect, Ramses! then you'd be known as 'Ram'.  Just kidding with that one.   

[sd]

Here is what I did.

Write down a few names you like, look up the heritage of them.
Then see how they sound with your chosen last name (middle as well if you have that), this narrows it down pretty fast.

Pick one to try on for a bit or ask a few peoples opinions, then try it on for a bit.

Another thing I heard to do was look up popular baby names for the year you were born. You don't want a name that is popular now, but not back then, it stands out and sends out a red flag. The idea is that someone your age will hear yours and thing of who they knew back in school with the same name, this makes it familiar.  Some names are rather timeless though.

[Annwyn]

I'm sure I already know the answer, but what's wrong with Nate?  Nathan?  Beats out Natalie any day of the week.

BTW, I DO like the name, "Ram."

[tekla]

I like Joe.  Its an everyday real guy type name.  If I have any problem with FtMs its often they pick some name so gay that had they grown up with it they would have got pantsed and tossed into the girls bathroom on a weekly basis and beat up on the way home from school every day until they changed it or found a nickname that was better.

[myles]

Ok I have to admit I probably have one of those names that Telka mentioned above. But in the end I threw my first naming theory out the window since I decided to change my entire name. I wanted my first initial to be the same M my brothers name is Micheal so that was out so I looked at baby names and came up with Myles. I gave my kids their middle names (we kept their first names from Cambodia) so I let them pick a middle name for me based on the letter A. I decided I wanted my initials to be MAG , first and last were already set.
I think looking at baby names is great, making sure you pay attention to what they mean. Everyone goes about it different in the end you just need to make sure you like it. Joe is not bad at all.
Myles
(I guess I will have to keep working out so I don't get beat up, or become a faster runner. I already told my SO everyone is going to think she married a gay guy.)

[Sandy]

Very few are given the opportunity to choose a new name for themselves.
Everyone can do it but few avail themselves of it.

Like julie, My name seems so very natural to me now, that my birth name seems very alien.

But I did go through some serious introspection to come up with it.  Whatever you choose for you name, Nate, Nicholas, Joe, if YOU are comfortable with it, everyone else will be too.

Best of luck coming up with it!

-Sandy(and proud of the name too!)

[Pica Pica]

Nigel 

we're only making plans for nigel, we only want what's best for him.

[Janet_Girl]

I take it masculinizing your given name is out of the question.  Have you done the baby book yet?

If you are really into Joe, How about Joesph?

But no matter what you decide, you will still be my little brother. 
Janet

[Rebis]

Nigel 

we're only making plans for nigel, we only want what's best for him.

the name 'Nigel' is one you get beat up for in the united states.

If Nero became Nigel, then we'd legally be allowed to kick his ass.

[Luc]

Forget Nigel, how about Leslie? Gay enough for ya?

I dunno, Nero... I think I'd have better suggestions for you once I see a pic of you after the effects of T. Gotta make the name fit the guy.

SD

[myles]

A picture would be good! If your hairy I think Nigel is good, or Norman, just kidding. What name reminds you of yourself the most, that is what I would go for. Take into account your looks as well as the things you like to do.
Myles

[lacitychick21]

How about SEXY!

I can't be of much help. The obvious feminized names for my birth name were too ugly to utter. Then one day... just a few weeks before I was to schedule my name change... I heard it. It wasn't quite a feminized [boy name], but phonetically had hints of it. And it was unique and BEAUTIFUL!

I love my name.

[Not-so Fat Admin]

How about SEXY!

how about 'bunny lover'! 

[lacitychick21]

Personally I like Sweet Talker.

 

[Wendy]

Nero,
Joe is a great name.  It is androgynous.

My wife helped me pick androgynous names.  If I ever change my names I would like to keep my same initials.

[sd]

Forget Nigel, how about Leslie? Gay enough for ya?

Leslie Nielsen does not seem very gay.

[FairyGirl]

My SO picked my female name. Not exactly one I would have picked for myself, but we don't usually get to pick our birth names either, so I kind of like that aspect of it for some strange reason. Also I like the name and it's meaning. Now my friends all call me by that name, so that's the one I'm keeping in any case. Of course it would be important to find a name you feel comfortable with- maybe go to one of those baby name websites like others have suggested and just try on a few names to see how they fit? "Nathan" or especially "Nathaniel" are definitely regal sounding names to me.

[Annwyn]

But Nero is bi.