Community Conversation > Crossdresser talk

Transvestite Fetish verses Transvestite

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Being a transvestite for all my life I think I know about this issue. Transvestite is a shrink term...just like TS. TV are 'defined' as a person who has a sexual fetish with an womens clothing.

That is not me.

My desire to be the other gender is a fact....not to be undone by my desire to be a girl is my sexual desire for women. My wish to be a girl is sexual....and not sexual. Sexual is just a side-spin about my bi-gender.

To be male cd/tv means...inside I  wish was a girl. The reason we are called cd/tv is because we have learned to be able to accept the way we we are. It is not easy...and is far from perfect. But we only have one life to live...and it's now.

I am not a woman traped in a man body....I am a man with a womans mind. My man body is ok....and I love the power it gives me in our culture....but it is not me. My mind is tender and sweet...loving and caring. I am a woman. But I live my life in the middle....with my man body.

I am a tv/cd who has accepted the reality. My Reality? It is me just being honest....I dress to feel pretty, but not to pass. I WANT others to know I'm a pretty and proud tv/cd/tg.

The shrinks have put 'terms' to us....and think they know how we are and think? NO WAY!


PS I'm talking about terms and the ambiguigy of what tg's are and truelly desire.

Hi Deb,

As I have said in other posts here I have shied away from the term Transvestite or '<not allowed>' because where I come from people who identify with these terms tend to be almost mocking with over done makeup, incredibly high heels and over the top gestures. This seems to be not so related to shrink terms as much as a way to self identify.

I feel that I am somewhere between the male and female identification. Sometimes one other times the other. If I were to transition I feel I would still be in this position but looking at it from the other side. I accept that essentially I am male and have the equipment to match yet inside I don't seem to be able to discern one from the other. There is a gentleness and softness in me that does not match with my male aquaintences. I say aquaintences because I have very few friends that are male.

I am more comfortable in a group of women than men and at parties find myself often away from the men with the women. I love to dress for me and like the look of traditionally womens clothing on me. When I dress I don't try to pass and really don't have to as I have had few journeys into public. If I did I would wish to pass so that I do not draw attention to myself. I would like to be able to go about my business without outside interference.

I know that you are more forthcoming and I would like to follow your lead so that I could make the path easier for others but that is not me.

Just thought I would share this with you as I follow your posts and find them often to be close to my own experiences.


Like Shelly I also feel in between genders.  My body is male, but I have some more feminine features.  My personality is androgynous--I have both typically masculine and typically feminine behavioral traits and emotions.  Behavior and emotions are as much social as physical.  I suppose that one of the reasons I like to dress en femme is to be able to give some physical expression to the feelings that I have.  In that sense, when I put on a skirt I bring out the woman in me.  But whether I am wearing pants or a skirt I am the same person.  That person is neither purely male nor female, but is a bit of both.

Etymologically the terms "crossdresser" and "tramsvestite" mean the same thing.  "Transvestite" is just the Latinized version.  The connotations of the terms have come to be somewhat different, largely due (as Deb points out) to the psychological association between transvestitism and sexual fetishes.   

Glad to know I am not 'alone' in this Louise LOL.

The more psychology tries to label us and pidgeon hole us the more we wll slip through their fingers. We are individuals on a continuum and have our own reasons for what we do. The continuum is called <not allowed> and has millions of points not the half dozen or so they would like limit it to.

I guess it comes downto what we feel and exerience life that matters and that we accept the diifferences and embrace them.


While labels are necessary to mark off the stops along the road, there is a problem if we take labels as identical to reality.  (Whitehead calls this tendency "the fallacy of misplaced concreteness".)  Reality is a continuum, "masculine" and "feminine" are labels for the directions of this continuum.


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