Community Conversation > Transgender talk

First night alone, what fun... sorta

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Miss Placed:
Mum and Dad flew out early evening, and I got to spend my first night alone in a house for many many years... I am easily spooked and afraid of the dark.

I decided to run myself a nice bath, with the intent of letting my female side right out and with the ulterior motive of attempting to shave my legs (I tried this in the shower last Sunday while everyone was out, and cut my legs pretty badly).

I even started practising speaking enfemme, and surprised myself as my voice sounds ok, not in any way camp (a fear I had), except I do sound like some posh Edwardian Lady "Pass the port, Jeeves"  :P

Soooo the bath is nice and soft, I thought about lighting some candles and turning the light off, but the only ones around were brand new, and I didnt want any difficult questions when the folks got back.

Soaked for a while, and then realised I'd made my usual mistake of making the bath too hot... which makes me have 'funny turns'. Put more cold in and decided to get on and shave legs.

I got halfway through my right leg, I was concetrating hard, I lost track of time.... *boom* I fainted smack into the bath... the heat had gotten to me... luckily I came round fast.

I managed to clamber out of the bath, but the heat suddenley felt oppresive, like I was being suffocated, I had to get out of the bathroom.

I stumbled out to my bedroom and fainted again just as I sat on the bed, this time I was seeing stars... but I didnt recognise any constellations  :P I don't think I was out for very long, but I did get the bed all wet.

This morning I had my first real experience of dressing enfemme (have done this 'messing about' with my ex wife, but many years ago). I made a vow to myself to not go anywhere near my Mum's stuff, that just seems too creepy to me, but luckily she sells female clothing on E-Bay for a hobby, so I went through her stock, which she keeps in the spare bedroom wardrobe.

I was gutted, I could hardly find a thing that fitted me, and her leaning was for 'older Ladies' clothing. I feel like I have a very slight figure for a man, I am not muscular or 'fat' (yet 5'7" and 154lbs doesnt seem to prove that claim?), yet it seems I am a UK size 16 (thats size 14 in the USA), and nearly all her stock was UK size 14  :( :o Still it was an interesting feeling, and I am glad to say that it didnt turn me on, but it made me feel good.

misty:
Hello Miss Placed

please dont feel so lonely now.......well thats if you did want company?

i really love the edwardian period and their beautiful dresses

it seems such a lovely innocent age that went by us............

i would love to go there

i feel part of that period......

i love their beautiful hats, dresses and boots

my roots are so strongly there

i wish i could go there.....as me.......now.....and dress in those fine hats and dresses.......go to church on sunday with cool catholic decorum and pass a quiet smile to those handsome young lads in the adjacent pews.......and to openly reveal my my irish name to the world.......

love

misty xxx

Miss Placed:
Thank you misty,

I have to admit that I feel desperatly alone atmo.

I dont know anyone here, and although one of my sisters and her husband live less than 5 miles away, they have kids, are busy, have issues of their own and I certainly dont want to come 'out' to them yet.

As for the Edwardian age, I am not so sure how 'innocent' they were  :D, but I agree it would be fun to go there.

It's just struck me that your avatar looks very Edwardian, I am guessing it is a picture of yourself?

misty:
Yes the photograph is of me……yes that is how I like to look.....I am very influenced by the past............mystically so

Innocence…..sometimes no......but i like to think there was more of it then and in a nice way

I hope so.........because I want my dreams intact

To believe that I can believe.....

That the dream of love and trust can be real

That people wont hurt you

That people wont use your love

It is what I want.........I hope it can be

misty   xxx


beth:
Hello Miss Placed,

                    I can remember how special those rare alone times were when i was with my family. I hope you are having a great time.  I would hope you would see a doctor regarding the fainting. It's prolly nothing but getting it checked is important.

I'm so happy to see you here with us

beth

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