Community Conversation > Transgender talk

First night alone, what fun... sorta

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Cassandra:
Hi Miss Placed,

Like Beth said get that fainting thing checked out. It could be anything. Probably the heat as you said but one can't be too careful. I really don't see how burning some candles would create too many questions. Hey you just felt like taking a bath by candle light. It's not like you were wearing womens cloths or shaving your legs or somethi.... Oh wait, yes you were.  ;D

Seriously though there is nothing wrong with a guy taking a bath by candle light. I used to do it all the time when I was living with my parents. They never thought anything of it, although if my dad were still alive now he'd probably say something like "I knew there was something odd about those candlelit baths."

As to shaving in the shower, I used to cut myself all the time but you get used to it over time and learn what not to do. Cutting off the long hair with a hair trimmer helps in that department. The shorter hair is easier to shave and doesn't take nearly as long. I shave everyday now. When I shower I just soap a leg zip, zip zip with the razor same with other leg and I'm done. Just takes practice. Don't worry about questions of haveing shaved legs. It is another popular thing for men to do these days so there is really nothing to explain.

It is your own(and I hate to use this term here but it is the only one that applies) guilt that makes you believe there is something odd that will raise questions about shaving your legs or taking a bath by candlelight. What I mean by that is you know the real reason you are doing it and feel that you have to come up with some alternative explanation which will then have you spinning a web of lies. The fact is there is nothing to explain. You do it because you like it. You don't have to go into how your TS and want to live as the woman you know yourself to be.

So go ahead and light up those candles, take a relaxing not too hot bath and shave those legs to your hearts content.

Good Journey,

Cassie

Miss Placed:
Hehe, thanks for the kind words and the humour, you certainly know how to make me smile.

As regards the fainting, I know my blood pressure is ok, as I only had it checked two weeks ago, and it wasn’t much changed from the previous time I had it checked.

Having thought on it a bit, I remember now that I had cleaned the bath beforehand with one of those aerosol mousses that you’re supposed to use in a well ventilated area.

I am very particular about those things and hate the idea of any trace of the chemical being left after cleaning, so had made sure the bath was well rinsed before I put my actual bath water in.

However, I wouldn’t have said the bathroom was well ventilated at the time, so maybe I had a head full of the cleaner before the heat of the bath got to me.

The candles are my Mum's, so really it wouldn’t have been right for me to use them anyway; they could be cherished gifts for all I know. Plus, I came 'out' to my Dad before they went away, he might wonder about the use of candles :)

I am sure my Mum already suspects something too. We're not a very close family and the last two weeks I have been very huggy towards her, which I think she has enjoyed, but seeing my two sisters are not huggy at all, she must be pondering why her son seems more 'enfemme' than his two sisters!

It's just occurred to me that if I was to transition I could probably have a much better and sexier figure than both of my sisters, and a better complexion than one of them too (she has problems with the skin on her face and wears tons of make-up to cover it. I have often wondered if she has tried not wearing make-up to clear it up.) It hadn't crossed my mind that I could face jealous sisters!  ;D I am giggling so hard now, that would be so funny! *meeeeooow*

Plus both my sisters and my Mum have large breasts, and I am sure my testosterone levels are low, this has got me wondering if HRT would give me natural breasts, hmm.

I remember when I was married and up near 190lbs my wife joked that I’d need a bra soon… oh wait… HRT can produce weight gain, that could mean I will spiral back up over 190lbs again!  :o  d’oh!

Cassandra:

--- Quote ---HRT can produce weight gain, that could mean I will spiral back up over 190lbs again!
--- End quote ---

Not to worry. A proper diet and regular exercise should keep your weight from going out of control.


--- Quote ---this has got me wondering if HRT would give me natural breasts
--- End quote ---

This is what HRT does along with feminizing other areas of your body face, skin, hips, rear, chest,(that's chest not breast although those are included). Hormones govern your body type, but they are not the only factor, they do determine feminine and masculine features. When and if you start hormone therapy you will experience a great deal of changes. These changes are gradual and you may not notice much at first but they will be there just the same. As to breast size most doctors agree that you will probably end up one cup size smaller than the average women in your family. However as it has been pointed out in other areas of Susan's, your mileage may vary. Also hormones can do nothing about bone which has already set. Bone structure is static and only surgery can fix those areas.

First things first though I believe you were starting therapy? Take everything one step at a time. It is fun to imagine what the final product will look like but don't get too caught up in building great expectations. Just see how each step comes along.

Good luck and Good Journey,

Cassie

Miss Placed:

--- Quote from: Cassandra on September 26, 2005, 04:05:34 pm ---First things first though I believe you were starting therapy? Take everything one step at a time. It is fun to imagine what the final product will look like but don't get too caught up in building great expectations. Just see how each step comes along.

Good luck and Good Journey,

Cassie

--- End quote ---

Thanks for the info 

Yes, I need to sort out some therapy, but I am trying to do as much research as I can in the meantime, I want to walk into the therapist's office well informed.

If I go ahead with transition (and I obviously will not know that for some time yet) then I want to get it right.

Being painfully blunt, I do not want to end up as the same bad male actor that I already am.... but in 'drag'.

I have always needed to 'look the part' in everything I have done, I have to do this so that I feel as comfortable and at ease with myself as I can be, because I have little or no self-confidence or self-respect.

If I can't do this right, if I can't look like a woman and be convincing, then quite I simply will not be able to do it.

I am already agoraphobic and social phobic, looking like a man in drag would do nothing but send me deeper into that, I have to be really careful.

It could be that my agoraphobia and social phobia are caused because I am not who I want/need to be, but I am not silly enough to try and attach labels to these, to use transition as a possible 'cure'.

*sorry if this seems a bit 'ranty', all this just came flooding out. For some reason I seem to be verbally constipated when I try to post deep, personal stuff, on Susan's. So much I want to say, but when I come to type my brain blows a fuse*

stephanie_craxford:
Hello Miss Placed,


--- Quote ---Being painfully blunt, I do not want to end up as the same bad male actor that I already am.... but in 'drag'.

I have always needed to 'look the part' in everything I have done, I have to do this so that I feel as comfortable and at ease with myself as I can be, because I have little or no self-confidence or self-respect.

If I can't do this right, if I can't look like a woman and be convincing, then quite I simply will not be able to do it.
--- End quote ---

I think this has been mentionied before but you have to be certain that this is who you are before you go forward.  The knowledge that you can look like a woman, and be convincing as a woman, does not make you a woman.  There is a difference...

Take care,

Steph :)

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