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Life Of A <not allowed> Woman . . .

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gina_taylor:
I've been a member for a long time, and it's probably taken just as long to find out who or what I am. Well, after a lot of therapy and soul searching, I have found that I am a <not allowed> woman and so I just recently started going out more and kind of testing the water. Everything has been going quite well as I make my way through mainstream stores and businesses. It's really so nice not to be looked at like a freak! I hope to go full time by the middle of this year, and even though I don't plan on SRS, I think that my journey will be good.


Here's the text from that book that I was reading:

THE BASICS OF GENDER IDENTITY
A subjective but persistent sense of oneself as male or female. Unlike sexual identity, which refers to one’s attraction to people of the same or the opposite sex, gender identity refers to an individual’s personal sense of being male or female. Gender identity is more than simply looking like a female or male. Biological process that begin after conception, the fusion of the egg and sperm, and cultural influences during early childhood both play a role.

GENDER IDENTITY
Most people develop a gender identity in the first few years of life, when they realize that they are male or female. Their gender identity, or personal sense of being male or female, includes their psychological perception of themselves as male or female.

GENDER IDENTITY vs. BIOLOGICAL SEX
Sometimes one’s biological sex does not match his or her gender identity. A person may have the physical anatomy of one sex but have feelings as if her or she belongs to the other sex.

People who are transsexual feel their biological sex does not match their gender identity. A transsexual may describe this feeling as being trapped in the wrong body. Some transsexuals undergo sex reassignment surgery to alter the appearance of their genitals to match the way they feel and hormone treatments to induce physical changes in the body. Those who seek surgery are carefully screened for mental disorders and psychological health. After the surgery, they receive extensive counseling on how to live with their new identity.

A similar term, transgender, describes the crossing of traditional gender lines because of discomfort with the gender roles generally accepted in one’s society. Unlike transsexuals, a <not allowed> person does not feel trapped in the wrong body and has no desire to alter his or her genitals. A <not allowed> person’s gender identity matches his or her biological sex, but he or she enjoys acting like the other sex at times. Some <not allowed> people engage in cross-dressing, and when a man wears women’s clothing, he feels better dressed as a woman.


Gina  :icon_biggrin:

PurplePrincess:
Hi :) Gina,
Firstly I'm going to apologise incase you didn't want me to post this here in your blog but as I couldn't reply to the PM you sent me because I have not made 15 posts I thought that if I posted here then you would see it.


--- Quote from: Gina ---I was just reading your introduction. How long have you been in transition for and have you had any problems?
--- End quote ---
Well it's difficult to answer that, I guess everyone has a different definition of transition Is the start when you first cross-dress? Or perhaps when you decide that you definitely want to live as the opposite sex. I have been cross dressing on and off since I was about 9, I did spend long periods though trying not to do it and be what everyone else expected me to be. I suppose I started the serious business of transitioning last year in about August when I saw my doctor about gender dysphoria. I have had no particular problems so far, I do lack confidence, I think that's my worst problem but no one has really given me a hard time when I've been out, sometimes I've had a few people give me an odd look until they hear me speaking and then they usually look away.


--- Quote from: Gina ---I've been trying to start, but have had a lot of false starts. My entire family has no idea what I'm going through and how much my life would be better if I were a woman, but I'll worry about that later. Tell me about yourself.
--- End quote ---
Everyone in my life now knows about me and my feelings now apart from my employers which will change very soon, I've spoken with my union reps at work and told them of my plans and I'm about to set up a meeting with HR and my manager, I've been stalling a little because I have a bad throat at the moment and I want my voice to be perfect. I have been training my voice for about 7 months and I have it exactly where I want it, it wasn't easy and I thought it was an impossible task when I started but so many people I speak with now say it sounds just like a gg.

I have also been quite naughty because I have been self medicating Hormones since the beginning of December last year. My doctor referred me to a psychiatrist which I saw in March which went really well and she said that she had no problem in referring me to a gender identity clinic but then afterwards in a letter she said that she wanted me to see another psych, so I'm currently waiting to see him but meanwhile I am going to transition at work and officially change my name.

I have a FtM boyfriend that lives in Canada and we are both moderators on another transgender forum and we support each other and try to help others when we can. I am trying really hard to save up and visit him at the moment. It's so hard being so far away. I work long hours and don't really have time to go out much really.

I have skimmed over a few things about me there, if you want to ask me anything then feel free to email me or perhaps add me on MSN.

Click here for small piccy of me

It was taken about 6 weeks ago without any makeup, the camera hates me so I don't get many pictures I like.

Chrissy.


Melissa:

--- Quote from: PurplePrincess on April 26, 2007, 03:47:08 pm ---Well it's difficult to answer that, I guess everyone has a different definition of transition Is the start when you first cross-dress? Or perhaps when you decide that you definitely want to live as the opposite sex.

--- End quote ---
I consider transition to start when you decide you definitely want to live as the opposite sex and actually take financial steps towards doing it.  What somebody considers a financial step that contributes towards it is where it varies.  For instance, I personally don't consider buying the wig and breast forms I first got after I decided I was transitioning to count as the start, since in the long term they didn't contribute towards me actually transitioning.  Nor do I consider buyinh the skirt I got to first go out as a female (in a crossdressed manner) before I knew I was transitioning to count even though it has become one of my favorties that I still wear.  Rather when I started paying to see a therapist is when I count it, although you could count seeing a GP as well.  So if you started hair removal before therapy, I would say that counts since it does contribute long term towards transitioning.  That's my opinion on it anyhow.

Oh, one more caveat.  If you are buying clothes for the intention of going fulltime, then I would say that counts too.  It's more the intention behind the purchase that makes it count or not. :)

gina_taylor:
Like most of the members here, due to to some situation, we all would like to go 24/7, but we find that we still have to retain our male identity for work. In the past few months, I have been able to express my feminine self more, and it really makes me feel so much more comfortable, and I'm a lot better to get along with.

Hi  Crissy,
No need to apologize, but it's always nice to hear other views.However, I'm sorry for my tardiness in replying.


I guess we all have our own ideas of transitioning. To me, transitioning starts when I start cross-living. Being a cross-dresser, is simply that I have a need to furfill, and so I become my feminine alter ego. So I fully understand what you mean when you say that you've been cross-dressing on and off sinc eyou were nine. I've been doing it since I was 14, and I fully understand about the purging moments. :icon_blah:

But there will come a time in our lives where we'll have to stand up and simply say that I've had enough of this, and we make the move to do things right.

I hope everything has been going well since seeing your doctor. Confidence will come. I went public five years ago, and I feel that I look 100% better now than I do then, so yes my confidence is much better. Unfortunately, you'll get the odd one that will look at you strangely. A few months ago, I was walking through a shopping mall, and these two guys had seen me, and they looked interested, and then one turned to the other just as I walked by and I heard him say, "That's a guy dressed as a woman." I didn't let it bother me, so I never even glanced back.

More power to you. Most people know about me, but they don't concern themselves with my issues. I hope that when you do talk with your employer that everything goes well. You should just start off slow, very subtle changes so that it's not dropped on them like a bombshell.

Sounds like everything is going your way, and I hope that your psychiatrist has got you on the right hormones. It's a shame that you couldn't get your hormones from your doctor, but after seeing my psychiatrist for a while, I have learned that he is a step higher than a GP is for perscribing certain medication.

You'll have to tell me what this other transgender forum is. I may be interested in joining. That's really cool that you have a FtM boyfriend. You'll have to tell me how you met.

Gina  :icon_dance:

Posted on: June 20, 2007, 02:32:15 PMThree weeks ago, I met this nice woman who works at a local flea market. She enjoys my ompnay, and yesterday I told her about my being a trans-gender. Being that she's from Rhaod Island, the news didn't phase her, which I didn't expect it would. Next weekend, I'm going to introduce her to my feminine side.

Now on the other side, I've been corresponding with a 36 year old woman that I met through an on-line dating service, and we met each other last weekend, and things seem to be going quite well. She's told me taht she really likes me, but wants to take our relationship slow. Now my problem is is that I'm not sure when I should tell her that I am a trans-gender.


Gina  :icon_dance:

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