Community Conversation > Transsexual talk

smiling imps


i have a kinda dark sense of humor sometimes.  oftentimes, i'll enjoy things which are kinda horror but in a very subtle way, you know what i mean?  like something might be "deliciously" evil (but not morally evil or anything).  like i would find great beauty in a really awesome bump from a wrestling move... or laugh and grin once when i'd got a bad cut and watched the blood slide down my leg.  and write songs about global catastrophe feeling comfortable... or laying a sparkler on your hand so that it burns because it feels warm.  sometimes i think maybe this has to do with me being used to the horrors of being the wrong physical sex.  so, i was just wondering if any of my pals here got that kinda thing too, or not?

Global catastrophe I can relate to. Give the place to the cockroaches, they can hardly do a worse job!

I don’t think that is gender related though as I have a large dislike of humanity as a whole. Sad I suppose. Shame my experiences haven’t changed my mind much. :icon_shrug_no: No, not gender related at all.

Not really any of the other things though.

a lover was struck down.  you'll be joining them now.  walking a street tear-eyed, as chaos runs unchecked behind.  the lamp-post on which you lean on a dimly-lit street, shimmers light catches edges around the last remaining metre of ground.  the cold space embrace, the starkness warming, with no drama, and no big explosions.  as death's hugs close in, you can't help smiling, with no drama, and no big explosions.  a smooth fog slowly engulfs me heavily and ground shakes aloud.  peril crush... like love.  to the silent empt i dive.  your youth shines through age lines, on your face for one last time.  tightly clutched in your left palm, garbles of scrawlings scribbled down.  you never touched so vein-deep, to your soul the nothing speaks, your lungs fill up with sootdust, disintegrate; you then leave.  the cold space embrace, the starkness warming, with no drama, and no big explosions.  the old town, born first, now the only place left on earth, with no drama, and no big explosions.  this gaping deep pit starts foot-forth, is starry.  i'll take a run-up.  from silken sluices, i let go.  just a step and all is gone.  no ache... no call from beyond... no sadness... no grave... no loss.  just... gone.

(lyrics to "abyss embers", (C)1999 Svetlana Perpetua-Jane Ross)


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