Author Topic: Gender Bending and Bathroom Safety  (Read 3965 times)

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LostInTime

Gender Bending and Bathroom Safety
« on: March 08, 2007, 05:20:13 am »
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In Lucy’s case, the bathroom door wasn’t necessarily the issue. It was the reaction of the people standing outside the bathroom that created the negative scene—one that quickly elevated. Lucy, a <transgender> female and Santa Cruz resident, was walking out of a bathroom at the Catalyst nightclub when a drunken man accosted her.

Lucy thinks it might have her height that made her stand out, or perhaps her large hands, but whatever the reason, after leaving the ladies room the man started screaming in her face, “You’re a man! You’re a man!”

The scene quickly escalated when Lucy confronted the man about his comments. The man’s girlfriend had to pull him away, as she apologized to Lucy and dragged him out of the nightclub. The staff at the Catalyst did nothing. In fact, they told Lucy, “You can go outside and call a cop, but you can’t use our phone.”

Melissa

Re: Gender Bending and Bathroom Safety
« Reply #1 on: March 08, 2007, 12:14:43 pm »
There were a couple of time before I ever considered transitioning I had to end up using the women's bathroom (single room).  The first time was at a gas station where they lost the key to the men's bathroom and the other was when I went on a fishing trip and nobody was around the bathrooms and it was all guys using them, so I voluteered to be the one to use the women's. ;D  I loved the idea both times, which is why I remember.

Melissa

LostInTime

Re: Gender Bending and Bathroom Safety
« Reply #2 on: March 08, 2007, 12:57:18 pm »
I had to switch over to the women's room a little early due to the confusion my presence was creating in the men's bathrooms.  however, many times I would just wait until I got home so that I would not have to risk having any type of confrontations.

Melissa

Re: Gender Bending and Bathroom Safety
« Reply #3 on: March 08, 2007, 01:15:45 pm »
Oh, I was umambiguously male looking when I did that.

Melissa

LostInTime

Re: Gender Bending and Bathroom Safety
« Reply #4 on: March 08, 2007, 01:24:58 pm »
I tried to, I really did.  LOL.  I remember hitting a truck stop and asking where the bathrooms were at and she directed me to the women's.  Here I thought I was decked out in my manly man clothes, LOL.  that consisted of a full length leather duster with a cape (makes it look like I have HUGE shoulders), gargoyle sunglasses, hair tied back, and what little hair I had on my face unshaved.  Oh and the male voice.  I used the men's room and when I walked out she just kinda looked at me funny. 

Until about 2 years before I transitioned, I did not have a lot of trouble but I was also keeping my hair shorter back then and I think that made a big difference.

Jonie

Re: Gender Bending and Bathroom Safety
« Reply #5 on: March 08, 2007, 01:26:58 pm »
Just in case anyones interested, If I remember corectly in 1986 their was a case Wells Vs. The city of Huston. Ms. Wells was at the Houston Astro Dome for a George Straight Concert when she went into a Men's Bathroon because the women's had long waiting line. She was thrown out of the event.

She won the case and the judge said something to the effect that if you have to use the restroom of the oppisite sex, as long as you don't loiter there it was alright to do so. I am not a lawyer.

Melissa

Re: Gender Bending and Bathroom Safety
« Reply #6 on: March 08, 2007, 01:37:08 pm »
Until about 2 years before I transitioned, I did not have a lot of trouble but I was also keeping my hair shorter back then and I think that made a big difference.
Right.  My hair *was* short.  Like less than an inch long.  It wasn't that I was assumed female by somebody, I was definitely seen as male.  But it was the fact that even back in my denial, I still couldn't repress everything like the fact that I was happy to use the women's restroom.

Melissa

Offline Ms Bev

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Re: Gender Bending and Bathroom Safety
« Reply #7 on: March 08, 2007, 09:36:13 pm »
I had to switch over to the women's room a little early due to the confusion my presence was creating in the men's bathrooms.  however, many times I would just wait until I got home so that I would not have to risk having any type of confrontations.


For me, at work it's cut and dried.  I dress male, am accepted as male, although I have longer hair than most....over my ears and collar, and brushing my shoulders, with newly acquired earrings.   I wear a sportcoat over my shirt (yes, I wear a bra at work).   I just walk right in.....use the 'guy walk'.

Totally different in my off time.  For three days of the week, I dress in women's jeans, cotton panties, womens sneakers, bra, sweater, or other gender-neutral top, ladies wristwatch, and silver stud earrings.  I wear foundation, just enough to even my complexion, and lipstick that evens the color of my lips, and defines them.  No other makeup.  Almost every time, I use the ladies room, regardless if it's a oney or not.   If someone comes in, we smile politely, and I usually comb my hair before leaving.  Almost never a second glance.  This ladies room decision is especially followed in a restuarant, where my wife and I are usually referred to as 'ladies', or 'girls' by the wait staff.  If not, I guage by their glance.  I think I'm mostly taken as lesbian, which is correct anyway.  I just know it's safer in the ladies room.......had a nasty look from a guy in a restuarant men's room once, and have felt very nervous ever since.
1.) If you're skating on thin ice, you might as well dance. 
Bev
2.) The more I talk to my married friends, the more I
     appreciate  having a wife.
Marcy

LostInTime

Re: Gender Bending and Bathroom Safety
« Reply #8 on: March 09, 2007, 08:33:00 am »
I have never been able to do the guy walk.  I tried, I really did but the moment I stopped thinking about it, I reverted back to what was natural to me.  I never thought twice about it until the seventh grade when a prissy little thing asked, in a very loud voice and in a full classroom, "****(old name), why do you walk like a girl?"  After that I tried to remember to add a bit of a limp to my walk, it was easier than remembering that I was supposed to plod through the halls.  I kept that fake limp all the way up until I transitioned.

Melissa

Re: Gender Bending and Bathroom Safety
« Reply #9 on: March 09, 2007, 03:42:34 pm »
I never did the guy walk either.  Naturally, mine fell somewhere in between a male and a female walk.

Melissa

Maebh

Re: Gender Bending and Bathroom Safety
« Reply #10 on: March 09, 2007, 05:09:56 pm »

I had to switch over to the women's room a little early due to the confusion my presence was creating in the men's bathrooms.  however, many times I would just wait until I got home so that I would not have to risk having any type of confrontations.


A couple of years ago I went to a Rugby-club fancy-dress disco in Portmarnock dressed as a "Roaring Twentiess Charleston Girl" with a Bob hair-cut, Lisa Minelli type make-up, long pearl necklaces, short black silk fringed dress, seamed stockings  and all.  :icon_chick:

At one stage I had to go and and use the toilets. There was a queue outside the Ladies so I went into the Gents. As I walked in a few of the lads noticing me said "Wrong door miss, Ladies are next door".  :eusa_naughty:

Smiling and winking at them  I walked straight to one of the free urinals, lifted the front on my dress and said: "Not at all, this will do me grand lads!"   :icon_yikes:

Within a few seconds they had all exited and I had the place all for myself. ;) 
 
Not only did that incident make my night, but to top it all, I also won the first prize for best costume.  >:D

LL&R

Maebh



Melissa

Re: Gender Bending and Bathroom Safety
« Reply #11 on: March 09, 2007, 05:56:04 pm »
Smiling and winking at them  I walked straight to one of the free urinals, lifted the front on my dress and said: "Not at all, this will do me grand lads!"   :icon_yikes:

Within a few seconds they had all exited and I had the place all for myself. ;) 
 
Not only did that incident make my night, but to top it all, I also won the first prize for best costume.  >:D
That's hillarious Maebh. :D  It's not something I would have ever felt comfortable doing, but I'm glad you had fun with it.

Melissa

Suzy

Re: Gender Bending and Bathroom Safety
« Reply #12 on: March 09, 2007, 08:30:56 pm »
A couple of years ago I went to a Rugby-club fancy-dress disco in Portmarnock dressed as a "Roaring Twentiess Charleston Girl" with a Bob hair-cut, Lisa Minelli type make-up, long pearl necklaces, short black silk fringed dress, seamed stockings  and all.  :icon_chick:

At one stage I had to go and and use the toilets. There was a queue outside the Ladies so I went into the Gents. As I walked in a few of the lads noticing me said "Wrong door miss, Ladies are next door".  :eusa_naughty:

Smiling and winking at them  I walked straight to one of the free urinals, lifted the front on my dress and said: "Not at all, this will do me grand lads!"   :icon_yikes:

Within a few seconds they had all exited and I had the place all for myself. ;)


Not only did that incident make my night, but to top it all, I also won the first prize for best costume.  >:D

LL&R

Maebh

That is priceless, Maebh!


Kristi

cindianna_jones

Re: Gender Bending and Bathroom Safety
« Reply #13 on: March 10, 2007, 02:28:12 am »
I went to a concert at the Hollywood Bowel many years ago. During intermission, the line at the ladies room was half a mile long.  After waiting forever, and having to go immediately, I finally gave up and went into the mens room.  When I exited the stall in the mens room, there were about a hundred women in queue behind me!  No one seemed to care.  The men were fine with it.

Why do we get so uptight about having separate spaces? A stall seems plenty for privacy.

Cindi

Maebh

Re: Gender Bending and Bathroom Safety
« Reply #14 on: March 10, 2007, 06:01:22 am »
I went to a concert at the Hollywood Bowel many years ago. During intermission, the line at the ladies room was half a mile long.  After waiting forever, and having to go immediately, I finally gave up and went into the mens room.  When I exited the stall in the mens room, there were about a hundred women in queue behind me!  No one seemed to care.  The men were fine with it.

Why do we get so uptight about having separate spaces? A stall seems plenty for privacy.

Cindi


Come on Cindy. Where would you have a good yap about blokes with your friend? :angel:

LL&R
Maebh

ChildOfTheLight

Re: Gender Bending and Bathroom Safety
« Reply #15 on: March 11, 2007, 10:33:24 am »
I went to a concert at the Hollywood Bowel many years ago. During intermission, the line at the ladies room was half a mile long.  After waiting forever, and having to go immediately, I finally gave up and went into the mens room.  When I exited the stall in the mens room, there were about a hundred women in queue behind me!  No one seemed to care.  The men were fine with it.

Why do we get so uptight about having separate spaces? A stall seems plenty for privacy.

Cindi

I completely agree...about a year ago I was in a non-gendered bathroom for the first time.  I was astonished at what a big deal it wasn't to have men and women in the same bathroom.  Also, I routinely disregard the gendering of one-person bathrooms.

I didn't know this until recently, but apparently some men don't close the stall doors when they go inside them.  That makes no sense to me.  Other than that, I'm all for non-gendered bathrooms.

Offline Ms Bev

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Re: Gender Bending and Bathroom Safety
« Reply #16 on: March 15, 2007, 10:24:04 pm »
......at the Hollywood Bowel many years ago. During intermission, the line at the ladies room was half a mile long.....
Cindi

This is just funny as can be!  Sorry everyone missed the pun, Cindi....Hollywood Bowel rest rooms.

Bev
1.) If you're skating on thin ice, you might as well dance. 
Bev
2.) The more I talk to my married friends, the more I
     appreciate  having a wife.
Marcy

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