Author Topic: Beyond anxiety, or Tick Tick BLOOM!!! Spring is a verb, not just a season  (Read 1291 times)

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Offline MadelineB

  • Life? Yes, Ma'am. It also comes in "Happy".
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    • B-Hive (my personal blog)
A lot of things have changed  for me in the now approaching 4 months of being on my own, so I am retiring the "mad housewife" thread-- I am no longer mad in any sense, and definitely not a housewife!

Now, behold, a new row of well fertilized word-cabbages sprouting in my garden:

Beyond anxiety, or Tick Tick BLOOM!!! Spring is a verb, not just a season

Here I shall chronicle my newly embraced chutzpah and perspicacity, and the total war concept they appear to be waging to expand and explode the boundaries of my comfort zone. This a new wrinkle for me, the girl with Maginot worry lines!

I've always suffered from panic attacks and hunkered down in the trenches until it was time to go over the top again, terrified and under fire.

But now my soul is counterattacking with new tactics, and there are breakouts every day measured in miles, not in inches.
History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again.
~Maya Angelou

Personal Blog: Madeline's B-Hive

Offline MadelineB

  • Life? Yes, Ma'am. It also comes in "Happy".
  • ***
  • Posts: 1,729
  • Reputation: +73/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Maddie Modification Fund: Well spent.
    • B-Hive (my personal blog)
Breakouts from just the last 10 days:

Broke through months' long writer's block and performance anxiety at work, to complete the second phase of my giant work project. This was the critical draft, which I completed this week and obtained approval from 4 departments to proceed as I have designed it. Had to remember all of my successful techniques for overcoming panic in the past, and put them to work.

Broke through serious writer's block regarding schoolwork, and finished the selection and interpretation of passages from Taoist literature (second chapter of Chuang Tzu) that I will be reading at the Princeton LGBT alumni conference next Saturday in Princeton NJ. Got it off in time to be printed in the program for the memorial service that I am part of.

Broke through crippling writer's block to begin drafting my seminar slides and notes for the seminar I will be teaching next Sunday at the Red Lion Inn Convention Center in Portland OR.

Broke through memory blocks and connected with the origins of my writer's block and writing anxiety, and made a good start in therapy at healing that maimed part of me. "They are going to hit me, or hate me, if it isn't perfect and on time."

Broke through my lifelong tendency to hide my panic attacks from others, and shared what was going on with supportive people while I was dealing with the panic. That is new; I previously only shared generalities, or talked of panic attacks only after I had overcome them. In each case, I spoke with the people I had anxiety about disappointing, and clarified requirements and adjusted expectations, rather than just suffering, trapped, in a perfectionist tar pit.
History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again.
~Maya Angelou

Personal Blog: Madeline's B-Hive

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