Author Topic: When did you begin to realise/come to terms with being transexual  (Read 15217 times)

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Offline Sybil

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Re: When did you begin to realise/come to terms with being transexual
« Reply #80 on: May 18, 2013, 11:21:33 pm »
There are a lot of assumptions made by the transgender community and many will say "I knew when I was three" and in some cases it has a lot to do with self validation and justification.
I'm really glad this was pointed out. I often struggle with asking myself if this is what I do when I answer this question (it's inevitably been asked by most friends). In all honesty, I think I may ask that question not because I feel "invalid," but because it's difficult for me to cope with being trans and I try to reinforce the idea as "natural" by reaffirming my history. It saddens me a bit that I -- and I'm sure many others -- feel backed into a corner even within ourselves because of what we are.

Anyway, the very first feelings I had were when I was very young (age 3-5). A lot of frustration about not being a girl, but I had no conception of "I'm supposed to be a girl." I recall often lying down in my home's hallway and daydreaming about it. I was simply really frustrated that I didn't have that existence. This frustration would continue to pop up here and there throughout my life until I was 19 years old, when I finally found out that there was a growth with my issue beyond cross-dressing. That was when I really started to read up on MtF women and slowly came to accept that it was something I'd have to face in my life.

I'm 27 years old now, and it often plagues me that I had never found out sooner that people like us existed. I really always thought it was simply cross-dressing, and since I don't feel a compulsion towards clothing to affirm my identity (not to say I have an aversion to it!), I felt utterly trapped until then. I felt like it wasn't a set of feelings worth expressing to anyone because there wasn't anything I could do. If I had known better, I may have been able to start much earlier in life and had an easier time of things.

I think what I'm trying to say is that I came to terms with the issue when I discovered that the issue existed. I'm sure there are many other young women out there in this situation; I really wish there was a simple way to let them know. There just isn't that much education about us in circulation yet.
Why do I always write such incredibly long posts?

vegie271

Re: When did you begin to realise/come to terms with being transexual
« Reply #81 on: May 19, 2013, 12:02:56 am »
I did know when I was 3 I tried to tell my parents but they ignored it

I messed around with cross dressing at an early age, but then went into the closet until I finally came out at 23, did not stick though

the absolute certainty of control of my life happened at 45 and who I was though


Offline Theo

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Re: When did you begin to realise/come to terms with being transexual
« Reply #82 on: May 20, 2013, 07:30:22 am »
While I like to think that I knew at a very early age, I am sometimes uncertain as to the extent to which I could have really articulated it. The eagle-eyed hindsight that we all have can tend to distort things slightly. Thinking back, none of the incidents that now seem to fall into a clear, distinct pattern, would necessarily be out of place for non-trans children when taken individually, it is only when one starts to synthesise them into an overall picture that the thought "trans" may arise.

Considering the young age when the first urgings came into play, for me somewhere along the 3-4 range as well, I can still remember lots of other things that I wanted to be at the time. Of those, the desire of being a girl is really the only one that, retroactively, makes any sort of sense, let alone is realistic. Yet I would argue that there are also many cases where the wish to be a different gender falls into the same category as those ideas that were discarded over time; i.e. a thought that simply expresses awe at the possibilities of life, rather than a true desire. It is in this last definition where we as trans* people fall through the cracks: for us, it is a true desire, but figuring that out is a task that is difficult and takes time, precisely because the same thought exists within the domain of innocent exploration.

Offline Carlita

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Re: When did you begin to realise/come to terms with being transexual
« Reply #83 on: May 20, 2013, 08:52:53 am »
Hi again Carlita,
You don't use a lot of words but those you do use carry so much weight and my heart goes out to you ! Some subjects are best kept for private discussions but your comments above made me think of how, for many years,my own unresolved issues created a lot of problems between my son and I. I was so conflicted about the masculine role I was having to play that  I was really negative about his masculinity and made life pretty hard for him when he was a young boy. He was just being a pretty normal boy but everything I saw in him reminded me about everything I hated in myself. It would be an exaggeration to say that I really beat up on him but I was much, much nicer to my two daughters and he couldn't but  notice it.  By the time he hit his adolescence, I finally understood what was going on inside me and our relationship improved remarkably. When I came out to my kids, Summer 2011, I used the opportunity to explain all of this to him and also to apologize for for how hard I had been on him as a kid. We were already on a very good footing by then and that was just another step in reinforcing a very open, warm and trusting relationship. Interestingly, of my three kids, he was by far the most supportive of what I am doing. Maybe he saw the change as an opportunity to get revenge on the "old man" but if that was the case, it hasn't been very visible so far.. :)
All of that to say that maybe you are not doing anyone a favour by allowing yourself to "die inside" .  It sounds like your kids are younger than mine who were all over 18 when I came out, but I can say without any doubt that, in spite of the shock this was to them, they would all agree that today I come across as a much happier and warmer person.
Have you already spoken to your wife about the subject or is it just an assumption that starting a transition would bring your mariage to an end? Where there is already a solid, loving relationship, many women seem to be more open on this issue than you might imagine up front.
Warmest regards.
Donna

My kids are actually quite old: two young adults and a teenager ... but the two older ones are both, in their different ways very vulnerable, so I'm not sure how they would take it. And the young one is at such a difficult stage of adolescence, and the onset of the physical/emotional./sexual change from child to adult (tho' coping with it really well) that it just seems like a terrible time to add any disruption. As for my wife, she knows and she has made her feelings plain. It's not done in a threatening or aggressive way. She's genuinely distraught. She's a heterosexual woman and she wants a husband who's  physically and in every other way a man. As long as i don't actually DO anything, we can just about maintain the facade of a normal marriage - and we do have a lot of love, affection and respect for one another, which really helps. But there is this 500lb female gorilla always sitting in the room!

Shantel

Re: When did you begin to realise/come to terms with being transexual
« Reply #84 on: May 20, 2013, 10:13:03 am »
My kids are actually quite old: two young adults and a teenager ... but the two older ones are both, in their different ways very vulnerable, so I'm not sure how they would take it. And the young one is at such a difficult stage of adolescence, and the onset of the physical/emotional./sexual change from child to adult (tho' coping with it really well) that it just seems like a terrible time to add any disruption. As for my wife, she knows and she has made her feelings plain. It's not done in a threatening or aggressive way. She's genuinely distraught. She's a heterosexual woman and she wants a husband who's  physically and in every other way a man. As long as i don't actually DO anything, we can just about maintain the facade of a normal marriage - and we do have a lot of love, affection and respect for one another, which really helps. But there is this 500lb female gorilla always sitting in the room!

I can relate 100% with your situation. My personal experience and successes have come from an incremental and lengthy approach to transition and hours if not days and nights of soothing conversations about coming expectations and who we are as a couple and how the inner person is the same in spite of external changes. We talk about our enduring love for one another and how each of us can meet in the middle by making certain concessions. It is exhausting but worth it to hold the family together. Like Mick Jagger pointed out in his song, "You don't always get what you want," it goes both ways!

Offline Carlita

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Re: When did you begin to realise/come to terms with being transexual
« Reply #85 on: May 21, 2013, 04:45:50 am »
I just realised I forgot to say THANK YOU, DONNA ELVIRA!! for your sweet, kind, thoughtful words. And thank you, too, Shantel, for your understanding.x

Offline Riley Skye

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Re: When did you begin to realise/come to terms with being transexual
« Reply #86 on: May 21, 2013, 09:12:47 am »
I remember to this day the moment I realized I was trans, though I forget when that moment was lol. It was back in the fifth grade when my whole class was returning from a fire drill and I looked at the other girls around me and I just thought how cute they were and I started thinking that I want to grow up that way, it was my first realization of what gender really is. I know I was just ten years old but from then on I seriously wished that one day I would wake up in a girls body and all would be fine but that wish never happened. As the years passed and puberty raged on I became more and more scared, not of the changes my body was going through but of society. I grew up, thanks to a religious background, that these cross gender desires were somehow wrong so I repressed them for years. Finally at the end of my senior year boys started becoming attractive and thanks to a "friend" who led me on I finally came out as bisexual, something that started opening the floodgates. It was also around this time that I started dealing with depression after a close friend whom I had a crush on rejected me, now that was something that made me snap but we'll get back to the depression later on. It would be another two years before I finally started accepting myself, slowly but surely I finally came to terms with my gender and when I was about 20, 19 really, I finally came out to myself as transgender. Ironically it was a few nights before a psychology class on sexuality and gender. I was finally open to myself and this time last year I came out to three of my closest friends, simply telling them that I had gender issues and that was it. Finally on September 15th, 2012 I decided to open the floodgates and came out publicly, first to my family then to my friends. On the first week of October something nearly tragic happened, my depression snapped and I just wanted to end my life but thanks to my friends I simply did nothing. The morning after I went to school, still feeling extremely suicidal and went to the counseling center and soon I was hospitalized. I would stay in the hospital for a week and thanks to medications really I started to turn around and was released. Upon being released I went to a psychologist for my gender issues and a psychiatrist for my depression but over time the two would overlap. I went to my psychologist for three months before I got my letter of recommendation to start hormones. Finally on January 3rd 2013 I went to the endocrinologist and was written a prescription for estrogen and then on February 20th was given one for T-blockers. Well since then it has been really slow, painfully slow but I am now on the right track to finally getting the body I deserve :)

sorry that was a bit lengthy but i had a story to tell lol
Love and peace are eternal

Offline CynthiaAnn

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Re: When did you begin to realise/come to terms with being transexual
« Reply #87 on: March 18, 2019, 05:07:08 pm »
I accepted myself as trans in 2010 and realizing my GD was not going away. After years of therapy and taking an incremental approach to transitioning, I fully realized I was Transsexual when I paid my deposit and secured my GCS date in early 2015.

Cynthia -
it just feels right......

Offline tgirlamg

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Re: When did you begin to realise/come to terms with being transexual
« Reply #88 on: March 18, 2019, 06:42:26 pm »
Ha!!!

I fully realized it in mid 2013 at age 52, as all the pieces of a lifelong puzzle assembled before my eyes... I came to terms with it within a minute or two and began planning my new life!... I bypassed the angst and pondering... I knew in an instant that I only had one path forward that led to a life that would ever hold any real meaning for me...

Onward we go brave sisters!

Ashley 🙋‍♀️💕🌸
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment” ... Ralph Waldo Emerson 🌸

“The individual has always had to struggle from being overwhelmed by the tribe... But, no price is too high for the privilege of owning yourself” ... Rudyard Kipling 🌸

Let go of the things that no longer serve you... Let go of the pretense of the false persona, it is not you... Let go of the armor that you have worn for a lifetime, to serve the expectations of others and, to protect the woman inside... She needs protection no longer.... She is tired of hiding and more courageous than you know... Let her prove that to you....Let her step out of the dark and feel the light upon her face.... amg🌸
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,210798.1520.html

Offline KimOct

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Re: When did you begin to realise/come to terms with being transexual
« Reply #89 on: March 18, 2019, 06:49:05 pm »
Wow Cynthia - you really dug this thread out of the mothballs didn't you?  :D  It's a good topic though so it's worth it.

For me I was 5 years old.  I remember telling my brother a few years ago that in the back seat of the family car when I was 5 and he was 3 that I did a pretend sex change on him.  He said when I told him that he was glad it was
pretend. LOL

I never thought I had any shame - I didn't feel bad about it.  It was just part of who I was.  It wasn't until I transitioned that I realized all of the shame that I felt.  That is the only explanation for the immense fear I had regarding going out in public presenting as female - and coming out of the closet and telling people.

If I thought being trans was OK then why was I trying so hard to keep it a secret.  I had no inner shame but I was ashamed of what the world would think.

I have been living it for 3 years and legally and medically for 2 years.  I am almost over the shame - not quite - but close.  Funny for someone that thought they had no shame I sure kept in hiding for a long, long time.
The first transphobe you have to conquer is yourself

Offline KimOct

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Re: When did you begin to realise/come to terms with being transexual
« Reply #90 on: March 18, 2019, 06:49:34 pm »
LMAO  We were typing at the same time.   
Love ya
The first transphobe you have to conquer is yourself

Offline CynthiaAnn

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Re: When did you begin to realise/come to terms with being transexual
« Reply #91 on: March 18, 2019, 07:00:36 pm »
Wow Cynthia - you really dug this thread out of the mothballs didn't you?  :D  It's a good topic though so it's worth it.

Funny for someone that thought they had no shame I sure kept in hiding for a long, long time.

There are some real gems buried in the db Kim, I hope it's not creating any administrative hassles, by bumping old threads..

We survived, and even thrived....I hid it so well....

Hugs all

C -

it just feels right......

Offline lauraelliott1951

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Re: When did you begin to realise/come to terms with being transexual
« Reply #92 on: March 18, 2019, 07:26:17 pm »
I suspected in 1963, when I was 12. Had no words to describe what was feeling except I loved dressing in my mom's old clothes. Spent the next 50 years sequestered and happily male. Then, boom. Therapy was the key that unlocked the door.

Laura
A step backwards, when you're headed in the wrong direction, is really a step forwards.



Offline tgirlamg

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Re: When did you begin to realise/come to terms with being transexual
« Reply #93 on: March 18, 2019, 09:03:49 pm »
I suspected in 1963, when I was 12. Had no words to describe what was feeling except I loved dressing in my mom's old clothes. Spent the next 50 years sequestered and happily male. Then, boom. Therapy was the key that unlocked the door.

Laura

I too, knew something was up very early in life... 1st grade especially stands out but, as noted... there was no name for those feelings and the environment was far from a welcome place to explore what the feelings were all about... It was far easier to just believe I had a secret that was deep and dark and go about life doing what the ones that I was dressed like did.... the pieces of the puzzle were buried deep where I thought that no one... even me, would find them but, all that is hidden, eventually comes to light.... half a century later, the puzzle pieces started to pop out of the ground and demand I assemble them...

I Love the picture they formed...I Llve the picture they formed...

Onward we go brave sisters!!!

Ashley 🙋‍♀️💕🌸

LMAO  We were typing at the same time.   
Love ya

Love Ya Sis!!!!

A 🙋‍♀️💕🌸
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment” ... Ralph Waldo Emerson 🌸

“The individual has always had to struggle from being overwhelmed by the tribe... But, no price is too high for the privilege of owning yourself” ... Rudyard Kipling 🌸

Let go of the things that no longer serve you... Let go of the pretense of the false persona, it is not you... Let go of the armor that you have worn for a lifetime, to serve the expectations of others and, to protect the woman inside... She needs protection no longer.... She is tired of hiding and more courageous than you know... Let her prove that to you....Let her step out of the dark and feel the light upon her face.... amg🌸
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,210798.1520.html

Offline Ann W

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Re: When did you begin to realise/come to terms with being transexual
« Reply #94 on: March 18, 2019, 10:57:05 pm »
I was born long ago enough that the word “transsexual” is power-packed with dark innuendo.

I grew up in a conservative home. I was the first of three children. I have no memories of any tell-tale experiences as a young child, but that may be because I have very few memories indeed from that time. My home was a very unhappy one. If I did exhibit any such tendencies, my father would have done everything he could think of to drive them away; and he would have done it with love and a heart full of sorrow. He was a very good man with definite ideas.

I don’t remember this; but my mother once told me that, when I was quite young, she found me in the bathtub, a razor in my hand, blood streaming down my leg. I smiled broadly and said, “Look at me! I’m shaving!” or some such thing. After I came out to myself, it struck me that I had chosen to imitate her shaving, and not my father.

I had no clue that I was trans for a very long time. In retrospect, there were plenty of signs. My heroes in life were almost exclusively women. I adored Chris Evert. I used to think I adored her because she was so beautiful, so talented and such a lady; today, I realize I wanted to be her. It’s interesting that I couldn’t admit that to myself at the time, which suggests that something, sometime had scared me away from identifying with women – even to myself.

When I was 12, something went wrong. I felt like I was losing my mind. I didn’t know how else to describe it. I was terrified. My father, being a professional man, did the educated thing; he sent me to a child psychiatrist. I spent the summer seeing Dr. S, once a week, and remember virtually nothing of the experience. In later years, I thought it was curious that this had happened when it did, at the onset of puberty. I suspected something hormonal had been involved; but still, knowing nothing of the relationship between testosterone and dysphoria for us girls, the possibility of being trans never occurred to me.

Throughout my life, people have wondered if I was gay. This always amused me greatly, since I felt no attraction to men. I had the odd “homosexual fantasy” when I was 14, which most heterosexual males experience at one time or another in their lives; but I liked girls. I think the first time I was asked if I was gay was also when I was 14. Much later in life, I had a close friend who never said anything like this to me; but when he died his widow told me he had sworn, up, down and sideways, that I was gay, gay, gay. Several years after that, my wife and I were regular visitors at the home of a gay male couple in our neighborhood, and, one day, they told me, deadly serious, that I was the “gayest straight man” they had ever met, and they didn’t understand it.

This “gay” connection seems to be a common experience for trans women before they come out; I’ve read several other accounts like mine.

I think I was in my late 30s when I saw my first lesbian film, John Sayles’ “Lianna” (1982). I was spellbound. I discovered that I connected with this genre very deeply, for reasons I could not explain. As the years went by, I amassed a respectable collection of films in this genre, and branched out into what little there was in television: the 5th season of “Ellen,” and “The L Word.” It was “The L Word” that introduced me to the concept of the “male lesbian.” Naturally, the term intrigued me, because I thought it might explain what was going on with me. I investigated and learned that “male lesbian” is a euphemism for a “love shy male.” It’s more complicated than that. There is a list of characteristics that are typical; if you check it out, you’ll probably suspect that a “love shy male” is probably a trans woman who just hasn’t come out to herself yet, at least some of the time. Most of the items on the list were true of me, including the wish I had been born female, the belief that I would have been happier and able to be more myself as a woman, wanting only female children, etc. So, I provisionally classified myself as such a person. And, since there didn’t seem to be anything I could do with this knowledge, I put it on the shelf, taking it out again from time to time to re-examine it.

It was on one of these occasions, when I was about 50, that I had a watershed experience. I was taking another look at my “male lesbian” status, and it occurred to me to ask myself, “Well, if I could be a woman, what woman would I want to be?” And I knew. I didn’t even have to consider it. The answer popped immediately into my mind – and I was in orbit. I stayed there for about four days. The thought of being this woman produced what I now know was gender euphoria. I didn’t know it then. All I knew was how incredibly happy I was, thinking of being this woman.

I shared some of these things with my wife, who, as it happened, was a straight ally and board member at the local LGBT center. She shared some of what I told her with someone she knew there – a trans man. He suggested that I might be transgender. She relayed his suggestion to me, and I blew it off. Silly me. I could have known ten years sooner than I did.

I think I have written separately how I finally knew. I was investigating my “strong feminine side” that I had always known I had, with the intention of bringing it to the surface and integrating it with the rest of my conscious personality. It’s pretty standard psych stuff. One thing led to another; and, about six weeks into my investigation, I knew. Three months before my 60th birthday.

Better late than never! :) And, let me say, coming out to myself and transitioning have been the greatest experiences of my life. How could they not be? I’m finally myself, after a lifetime of trying to be someone else. If anyone reading this has any doubts about taking the plunge, my advice is to go forward and not look back. Nothing is worth denying who you are.

Offline NatalieRene

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Re: When did you begin to realise/come to terms with being transexual
« Reply #95 on: March 18, 2019, 11:02:08 pm »
I accepted myself as trans in 2010 and realizing my GD was not going away. After years of therapy and taking an incremental approach to transitioning, I fully realized I was Transsexual when I paid my deposit and secured my GCS date in early 2015.

Cynthia -
I started in the summer of 2010 also.

The realization that it was possible and that there was a path for doing it opened a door for me. Before then I didn’t have the words for it but once I did it was like a thunderbolt.

I fast tracked myself by paying for everything out of pocket and lived like a poor college student again which was funny because I was working at GWU and most people thought I was a student worker even when I was pushing 30. It all cumulated in September 11 2011 recovering from my GCS.

Offline CynthiaAnn

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Re: When did you begin to realise/come to terms with being transexual
« Reply #96 on: March 19, 2019, 06:31:41 am »
Wow, such new life in an older topic (not a bad idea after all) !

@NatalieRene - I remember seeing your posts on another message board, and thinking you were way ahead of me. It's nice to share words with you today !

@tgirlamg - I think your picture is gorgeous, what a beautiful smile.

@Ann W - I enjoy reading your posts, such thoughtful writing. I agree with you the word Transsexual had a dark connotation in my mind too at one time, now I totally embrace the term.

@Lauraelliot1951 - I know exactly what you mean, no words to describe it. I was taken to many counselors as a young person, I had terrible social issues at school, it was always there, just manifesting it's self in such strange ways.

Hugs to all my sisters...

Cynthia -
it just feels right......

Offline NatalieRene

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Re: When did you begin to realise/come to terms with being transexual
« Reply #97 on: March 19, 2019, 07:02:38 am »
Wow, such new life in an older topic (not a bad idea after all) !

@NatalieRene - I remember seeing your posts on another message board, and thinking you were way ahead of me. It's nice to share words with you today !

@tgirlamg - I think your picture is gorgeous, what a beautiful smile.

@Ann W - I enjoy reading your posts, such thoughtful writing. I agree with you the word Transsexual had a dark connotation in my mind too at one time, now I totally embrace the term.

@Lauraelliot1951 - I know exactly what you mean, no words to describe it. I was taken to many counselors as a young person, I had terrible social issues at school, it was always there, just manifesting it's self in such strange ways.

Hugs to all my sisters...

Cynthia -

You must mean Laura’s Playground. The website is still kind of around, called Transpulse now, but it is so empty now compared to what it was before.

Offline tgirlamg

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Re: When did you begin to realise/come to terms with being transexual
« Reply #98 on: March 19, 2019, 11:43:18 am »
Wow, such new life in an older topic (not a bad idea after all) !

Hugs to all my sisters...

Cynthia -

Hi Cynthia Ann

Not a bad idea at all.. 😀👍... The challenges, struggles and liberation of finding ourself and our place in the world remain the same across the years...

To those who may read this in years to come... You will see bits and pieces of yourself, both large and small...reflected in our words here.

The path begins with self exploration... Amazingly, often a last frontier of sorts... Embrace the person you find... allow them their voice and expression... maintain hope... manage fear... move forward, in the manner you choose, towards what is true... Live Your Life... Love Your Life ❤️🙏🌺

Onward We Go Brave Traveler...

Ashley 🙋‍♀️

PS... Thanks for the sweet words Cynthia Ann!!! I Love your pic too!!! 🌸💕
« Last Edit: March 19, 2019, 12:54:07 pm by tgirlamg »
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment” ... Ralph Waldo Emerson 🌸

“The individual has always had to struggle from being overwhelmed by the tribe... But, no price is too high for the privilege of owning yourself” ... Rudyard Kipling 🌸

Let go of the things that no longer serve you... Let go of the pretense of the false persona, it is not you... Let go of the armor that you have worn for a lifetime, to serve the expectations of others and, to protect the woman inside... She needs protection no longer.... She is tired of hiding and more courageous than you know... Let her prove that to you....Let her step out of the dark and feel the light upon her face.... amg🌸
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,210798.1520.html

Offline Emma1017

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Re: When did you begin to realise/come to terms with being transexual
« Reply #99 on: March 19, 2019, 12:33:58 pm »
Wow there are so many parallels on this site it always shocks me.

I wrote this last Saturday for myself.  Kim keeps encouraging me to share on my thread.  This is what I wrote:

I sometimes conceptualize by mentally connecting the "dots" or disparate elements of thought.  So these are my transgender "dots" as a time line:

4-5 years old:  I traded with my girl play friend, my truck for a pair of her tights.  I have always wanted to be a ballerina.  I have been fantasizing that I would magically transform into a girl since then.

8 years old:  Saw a Twilight Zone episode where a plain teenage girl gets transformed into a beautiful girl.  I used to dream that was me.  I always searched for anything that had a boy to girl/man to woman theme the rest of my life.

10 years old:  I bought my first stockings.  For the rest of my life I always had a secret stash of stockings, pantyhose and tights.  I always thought I had a fetish but it was the only female garment that was easy to hide and gave me the female intimacy that I needed.

17 years old:   I really tried to convince myself that I would grow out of my “fetish” when I went away to college…wrong.  I finally realized that it was something that was never going away.  I felt shame, embarrassment and fear of discovery.  I walled it up so successfully that it wasn’t until I was 62 years old that the wall collapsed.

62 years old: I was standing on a subway platform having a full-blown panic attack, my third in a week and I started looking at the train tracks as the train came in.  I held on, not for me but for the incredible pain I would cause my wife and son.

I finally decided to get help.

63 years old: With the help of my analyst I finally truly understood that I was transgender.  I joined an online transgender support group.  I learned that I was not alone and that I was part of an incredible global community of millions of people experiencing the same pain.  That shared pain allowed us to support each other to help climb our individual and shared “wall”.  With everyone’s help, support and understanding I discovered:

I am transgender and I am ok.

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