Author Topic: will i have to date men if i want doctors to let me transition  (Read 5494 times)

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Offline Lilyyy

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okay i was reading someone's post and she said the doctor mad her have to date men if she wanted HRT. this is so mean and discrimatory. Does no-one know that 30% of transwomen are lesbian. anyway I'm bisexual so i wouldn't mind having to sacrifice my sexuality to be a woman. anyway, this is just so discrimatory. is this the case in australia? it better not be!

I could just lie!
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kelly_aus

Re: will i have to date men if i want doctors to let me transition
« Reply #1 on: June 22, 2013, 06:26:28 am »
Hiya Veltiro,

I'm an Australian and being a lesbian has not interfered with my transition in any way. It doesn't so much these days where experienced therapists are concerned.

Jess42

Re: will i have to date men if i want doctors to let me transition
« Reply #2 on: June 22, 2013, 07:07:14 am »
I don't think its as much discrimination as preconcieved notions and misconceptions by the therapist. I wouldn't worry about it too much and if you run into one that thinks that way educate them on the diversity of the community.

Offline Michelle S.

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Re: will i have to date men if i want doctors to let me transition
« Reply #3 on: June 22, 2013, 07:19:48 am »
okay i was reading someone's post and she said the doctor mad her have to date men if she wanted HRT. this is so mean and discrimatory. Does no-one know that 30% of transwomen are lesbian. anyway I'm bisexual so i wouldn't mind having to sacrifice my sexuality to be a woman. anyway, this is just so discrimatory. is this the case in australia? it better not be!

I could just lie!

I find that very hard to believe. First off, gender and sexuality are two entirely separate things. So a prerequisite for being a woman is not a sexual interest in men. I believe that either the poster misunderstood or their therapist is very incompetent. There are quite a few other possible factors too.  Like my therapist basically insisted I confront my fears. I'd come in and tell her I'm scared of [blank] and she' say I'd like to see you confront [blank] before our next session. Maybe this poster said something about being scared to date men or seen as a straight woman, so the therapist CHALLENGED her to date men.

Again, all my own personal speculation. Bottom line is that no respectable, qualified gender therapist should ever tell you you have to date someone in order to be who you are... That's wrong.



Tristan

Re: will i have to date men if i want doctors to let me transition
« Reply #4 on: June 22, 2013, 07:41:14 am »
You shouldn't have to from what I'm told? Idk though, I mean I would think you wouldn't have to date guys if your doing transition

Offline Dahlia

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Re: will i have to date men if i want doctors to let me transition
« Reply #5 on: June 22, 2013, 07:47:27 am »
Over here, in Amsterdam, Holland, pre MTF who are only into men....are a small minority and it really happens that TG therapists ask them 'are you sure you're not gay guy?'

Whereas the others are NOT asked 'are you sure you're not a straight guy?'
No matter how many times they've married and divorced ciswomen, no matter how many children they have sired as bio fathers.

Tristan

Re: will i have to date men if i want doctors to let me transition
« Reply #6 on: June 22, 2013, 07:59:14 am »
So does that mean trans women are expected to be lesbians? Sounds like the diagnosing criteria is different from place to place or therapist to therapist from the sounds of things. Just make sure you really are trans before you start with the ffs and all the other stuff

Offline Emily Aster

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Re: will i have to date men if i want doctors to let me transition
« Reply #7 on: June 22, 2013, 08:03:21 am »
Yeah I think that might have been a misinterpretation or it was taken out of context. I've seen a lot of therapists over the years and I only had one ever say something similar to that, but it wasn't a prerequisite to transitioning. It was because I couldn't figure out my sexual orientation, but definitely did not enjoy being with women. She suggested that I give it a try with a guy. It had nothing to do with my transition (or lack of) though. It was just a step that she thought would help me.

Online Chloe

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Re: will i have to date men if i want doctors to let me transition
« Reply #8 on: June 22, 2013, 08:10:54 am »
. . . have to date men if she wanted HRT. Does no-one know that 30% of transwomen are lesbian.

That's disgusting, find it hard to believe, but i'm sure here in the middle (between east, "Amerika" & west ) the % is even higher than that! Suppose Australia, as a long time "experimental colony", has a life all it's own.

From one study:
Quote from: Emerging Cultures
Cultural influences are perhaps the least understood aspect of transsexuality - in large part the effects of culture are so hard to define and study. Still, the evidence suggests that these factors strongly influence whether MtF transsexuals tend to be gay of straight. In Far Eastern countries such as Korea, Malaysia. Singapore and Thailand, fewer than 5 percent of MtF transsexuals may be heterosexual. The rest are homosexual biological males, usually extremely feminine in their behavior and appearance and exclusively attracted toward men. (These are the so-called kathoeys or ladyboys of Southeast Asia.) In striking contrast, this ratio of gay to straight is almost perfectly flipped in the West, where 75 percent or more of American and British transsexuals are heterosexual - attracted to women - or bisexual.

I think it may have somewhat to do with a more feminist, "christian mentality" here but also wouldn't believe everything you hear.
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Offline Elsa

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Re: will i have to date men if i want doctors to let me transition
« Reply #9 on: June 22, 2013, 08:24:38 am »
No you wouldn't have to and if they insist that you do - just explain to them the difference between gender identity and sexual prefrences.

Am not sure how many doctors would insist that you date men?
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Tristan

Re: will i have to date men if i want doctors to let me transition
« Reply #10 on: June 22, 2013, 08:35:36 am »
Some doctors are funny. They request things. You end up just going along with it sort of speak if they are pig headed. But other doctors you can talk to

Renee

Re: will i have to date men if i want doctors to let me transition
« Reply #11 on: June 22, 2013, 08:44:13 am »
Its pretty simple really, you don't allow anyone to tell you to date a particular type of person or do anything with someone that makes you uncomfortable.


Offline peky

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Re: will i have to date men if i want doctors to let me transition
« Reply #12 on: June 22, 2013, 08:59:55 am »
okay i was reading someone's post and she said the doctor mad her have to date men if she wanted HRT. this is so mean and discrimatory. Does no-one know that 30% of transwomen are lesbian. anyway I'm bisexual so i wouldn't mind having to sacrifice my sexuality to be a woman. anyway, this is just so discrimatory. is this the case in australia? it better not be!

I could just lie!

No Cutie, you date whoever you want.

« Last Edit: June 22, 2013, 03:28:41 pm by peky »

Offline peky

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Re: will i have to date men if i want doctors to let me transition
« Reply #13 on: June 22, 2013, 09:17:27 am »

for every contingency you have to have a plan...what are you prepared to say and/or do is of vital importance
 
« Last Edit: June 22, 2013, 03:29:33 pm by peky »

Offline Mr.X

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Re: will i have to date men if i want doctors to let me transition
« Reply #14 on: June 22, 2013, 09:28:14 am »
Quote
Over here, in Amsterdam

First of all, hello fellow Dutchie!

Regarding the question, I believe Norway is old fashioned and requires you to be straight if you wish to transition. I have a friend who is FtM, and there was no way he could transition because he was married to a man, and this thus meant he would be gay. They simply do not seem to be able to disconnect sexuality and someone's gender identity, which is plain old fashioned and stupid.

However, I could be wrong. Any Norwegians here?

But it seems only Norway is like that. The other countries seem to be smart enough to know that sexuality got nothing to do with your own gender identity.

Offline Dahlia

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Re: will i have to date men if i want doctors to let me transition
« Reply #15 on: June 22, 2013, 11:05:35 am »
Quote
Quote from: Emerging Cultures
Cultural influences are perhaps the least understood aspect of transsexuality - in large part the effects of culture are so hard to define and study. Still, the evidence suggests that these factors strongly influence whether MtF transsexuals tend to be gay of straight. In Far Eastern countries such as Korea, Malaysia. Singapore and Thailand, fewer than 5 percent of MtF transsexuals may be heterosexual. The rest are homosexual biological males, usually extremely feminine in their behavior and appearance and exclusively attracted toward men. (These are the so-called kathoeys or ladyboys of Southeast Asia.) In striking contrast, this ratio of gay to straight is almost perfectly flipped in the West, where 75 percent or more of American and British transsexuals are heterosexual - attracted to women - or bisexual.

Sounds like they are talking about gay men instead of MTF and about straight heterosexual FTM.

Offline peky

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Re: will i have to date men if i want doctors to let me transition
« Reply #16 on: June 22, 2013, 12:00:52 pm »
First of all, hello fellow Dutchie!

Regarding the question, I believe Norway is old fashioned and requires you to be straight if you wish to transition. I have a friend who is FtM, and there was no way he could transition because he was married to a man, and this thus meant he would be gay. They simply do not seem to be able to disconnect sexuality and someone's gender identity, which is plain old fashioned and stupid.

However, I could be wrong. Any Norwegians here?

But it seems only Norway is like that. The other countries seem to be smart enough to know that sexuality got nothing to do with your own gender identity.

My Dad's Dad come from Groningen but we are ethnically Frisians

Offline Mr.X

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Re: will i have to date men if i want doctors to let me transition
« Reply #17 on: June 22, 2013, 12:13:39 pm »
Quote
My Dad's Dad come from Groningen but we are ethnically Frisians

Wow, really? I had not expected a fellow Frisian here. We are rare as it is, especially on an American dominated forum. But awesome!

Sorry for completely going off topic. It won't happen again, I swear!

Offline Carrie Liz

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Re: will i have to date men if i want doctors to let me transition
« Reply #18 on: June 22, 2013, 12:38:26 pm »
Just find a good therapist, one who is familiar with LGBT issues.

Yes, there are a few doctors out there who still classify transsexualism as a mental disorder and will only prescribe transgender hormones and surgery to those who fit a very narrow definition.

But if you find a good therapist, one who is familiar with the community and recognizes that it's not so much a disorder as a matter of self-identity, and that gender identity is completely different from sexual orientation, masculinity/femininity, and any number of other heteronormative assumptions, you should be just fine.

Offline Teela Renee

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Re: will i have to date men if i want doctors to let me transition
« Reply #19 on: June 22, 2013, 12:57:02 pm »
It shouldnt,  Im a lesbian, my Doctor's nor my therpists have givin me any problems due to whom Im attracted to.
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