Community Conversation > Transgender talk

From CD to TS?

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gina_taylor:
Hi Veronica,

I really tend to agree with what Stephanie and Leigh has said, but since you have said that you are trying to match your body with your mindset then that it a different story all together. I think (and this is my own opinion) that we all start off as cross-dressers and then later on in life we feel more comfortable with ourselves and what path we feel is best and that is when we decide to further ourselves in our journey, and that is when we decide to match our bodies with our mindset. I've been cross-dressing since I was fourteen, and now at thirty-seven, I am in the process of starting my transition to becoming a woman  :).

Gina

[edit]This post and those replies following have been split from the topic "Buying Hormones On-line" - Steph[/edit]

Cassandra:
I'll have to disagree with you Gina. It is not the same start for all of us. Everyone is different and your own experience is no less valid but I did not start out as a crossdresser. I simply was who I was, a girl. clothes were not the issue, for me that came later as I began to view the clothing as a distinguishing factor, something that would keep me in sink with the females growing up around me but that I was forbidden to wear. I'll leave it at that as I don't want to get off topic but you did say "all".

Cassie

Terri-Gene:
I'm right along with you on something so personal Cassie.  For me too, it was never about such a mundane thing like cloths, I spent more then 30 years without ever crossdressing after turning away from such things and starting over as pure male and I still have little incliniation to get into what most would consider femme.  For one thing, such things simply don't work on me, or fit my lifestyle. I'm happy with the same clothing for the most part that I wore while in total denial, I simply wear it a little differently these days.

It is true that many or most  transsexuals are almost indistinguishable from crossdressers in thier early exploration of themselves, but the reasons are so very different.  For many of these, the more confident they become in the female role, the less importance is placed on clothing, makeup and props as they learn to simply "Be" rather then appear to be.

As time goes on, it is easier and easier to simply forget that male ever existed, especially when I overhear comments like the other day at work when an elderly couple passed me while I was pushing a cart with several hundreds of pounds of medical records on it and the man said to his female companion "That woman almost looked like a man" and the woman said back, "She's a working woman, she's going to be a little harder then some others". Or the small talk and communication in elevators with other women who show no sign of seeing me as different.  I feel like I am home, or almost because of this acceptance, and all the time wearing the same uniform worn by both men and women in the department I work in, a pull over short sleeve shirt and blue jeans, with the company logo ball cap during werewolf week to shadow my face, though you have to be close anymore to see much.

I have no idea what it all means to a crossdresser, as if they wish to remain male, I don't understand the point, but they apparently have a need and my own understanding of it is irrevelant.  I do know that to be recognized as a female is important to me, as important as life itself .... I would be ashamed and humiliated to face the world as male again, there is nothing anyone can say to me or about me because of the way I face the world now that would or could be as bad as facing the world in male image and again putting up a male front.  At this time, I'm pretty sure I couldn't deal with the front at all anymore, though I still could even a year ago or less, but that side of my nature is in full retreat and good riddance. My nature is not something I want to hide from anyone, anytime anyplace under any circumstance.

Anyway, as I see and understand them, crossdressers are nothing at all like me, and I do not see the connection at all.  I used to say that a crossdressers worst fear is being discovered while a TS's worst fear is that nobody will notice.  No, we are two very different animals, bound together by a need for tolerance but worlds apart in our thinking and needs.

Terri



Sarah Louise:
I have been reading all the Threads lately and feel like responding, but for some reason just haven't been able to "speak" (type, respond).  I'm not sure what is going on in my mind right now, but hopefully I will start to participate more fully again soon.

Sarah

Cassandra:

--- Quote ---It is true that many or most  transsexuals are almost indistinguishable from crossdressers in thier early exploration of themselves
--- End quote ---

Very true. Myself I have always been a bit of a clothes hound so I don't expect to be abandoning stylish clothes. As an Art Dealer you could say it is part of my job. That being said as I have been living full time for awhile I have begun to gravitate toward pants suits and for casual wear jeans and a tshirt or nice blouse in a tshirt cut. If I have to go out in a hurry a little powder and lipstick is usually all I need in a pinch.

I am one of those who has to have something a little extra on to go out regardless. My wife knew a nieghbor who was very prominent in the community who wouldn't go to the mailbox without full makeup. I guess I kinda fall into that category. I just don't feel dressed even though I know I really don't have to do that because I am recognised as female regardless. I guess that is were the crossdresser differs. They live in both worlds so going out just regular for them means being male while going out regular for us means just being recognised as who we are. I think that was your point.

Cassie

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