Community Conversation > Transgender talk

It continually gets worse with no end?

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Jessica:

--- Quote ---And yes, Age.  All indications are that if one has gid, the desire to transition increases with age.  I know I was able to resist any and all temptations or thoughts from early 20's until into my 40's when it began to take over my thoughts and concentration, forever changing my life no matter what I did
--- End quote ---

I'm 30 and it already presides over all my thoughts.  I have always just done what I had to do: tried to ignore it and keep on in life.  I would agree that it increases with age, at least that has been my experience as well, but I had assumed that it would plateau at some point and I would be able to just keep doing what I am doing now and keep myself so busy that I can ignore it until after work and then go home and sleep.

But, what you're saying is it doesn't plateau.  It continually gets worse and worse with no end?

Debtv:
Hi Jessica,

Well, I'm 48 and my tg desires grew with my age...enough I had to do something about it. What I did was come out so that I could be honest and live openly as a tg. My path has been self-acceptance that has grown into self-pride.

I am on a plateau...where I am now satisfied and happy.

Love
DebTV

Cassandra:
For me it ends when I have had my SRS or I die trying. There is no in between.

Cassie

Northern Jane:
I'm in the same boat as Cass - in my early 20's it was a choice between SRS and a coffin. Obviously it was SRS  ::) and with no regrets.

Terri-Gene:

--- Quote ---But, what you're saying is it doesn't plateau.  It continually gets worse and worse with no end?
--- End quote ---


No Jessica, there doesn't seem to be any sort of Pateau until such time as you reach a stage that satisphys your personal, individual need at which point it is not necessary for you to advance any further.

Yes, it does get worse with age, there are many theories about why this is so, Most prevailent is that as T lowers with age, and the constant focus in the issue, you just wear down and accept it more.  Also most people learn to please themselves rather then others as they age and when older are more prone to indulge themselves when they feel strongly about something.

As I said, I was able to completely deny it for almost 20 years before my thoughts started to turn back to it after turning my life around back in the early 70's, when I had tried to transition but at that time lacked the personal strength to see it through and reverted back to trying to be male instead.  From then until into my 40's I was in total denial, doing absolutely nothing that would indicate any kind of feminine nature.  I started hormones in late september 2003, and had an Orchieotomy in March of this year.  I have been living full time in full identification for nearly 10 years, None of this has made me feel any better about myself and so indicates that nothing short of the full treatment will be of any value to me.

All are different with different needs, but my experience tells me that one can not have peace until they achieve a level of acceptance with themselves, which sadly, I haven't done yet.

Also, in my case, SRS itself won't complete the ticket either, I must also complete the mental evolution and eliminate the damage done through the years of denial when I did many things that cause me conflict with myself as I progress.  It is both a mental and a physical process, both of which must be addressed to truely achieve harmony with ones self.

Terri

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