Community Conversation > Transgender talk

It continually gets worse with no end?

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Well, at 22, yes, there are a lot of years to go but the more you get used to everything gained by remaining male, the even harder it is to give up.  Consider that if one is truely serious about needing to transition, and it is a hard thing to face at 22, how much harder it will be later in life when you have so much more to risk.  I'm one of those who learned this lesson almost to late in life.

At to TS's being 10% of the TG population, I doubt that,  It is likely far less when you get down to identifying in security and safety as opposed to actually out on the streets in public and at work.  Personally, working in the medical field, I'm often surprised at how few people in the medical profession have ever met a Transitioning TS or know much about the process, and if the most part of the medical profession is ignorant of us then what education in the mainstream. and for that to happen, TS's are quite rare indeed.  <not allowed> is relatively rare and posties are rare even in TS circles.

Middle ground?  while such things may be possible for the TG sector, it doesn't exist for TS's.  There is no choice other then to fully live or spiritually die, take your pick.  It is the knowledge that we can't fully live and survive in our birth sex that makes us able to face the negatives of transition, as we know that no matter how bad it gets, it won't be near as bad and doing nothing about it. 

If one does not have this unconcourable drive, they arn't likely a true TS and do not need to transition in the full sense.  Nobody should go this route if they don't have the deep need to do it.  It's insane and succeed or not, it is something that follows you through life, If you don't have to, avoid it like the plaque, unless you simply enjoy misery and discrimination.  The rewards of transition though, if truely needed, are beyond description, but you still have to take the bad with the good and learn not to let the bad get to you and drag you down.

Being TS isn't some kind of privialage or status, It's a life of pain and fighting for what you need.  I'd trade with Deb or someone like her in a heartbeat if it were possible, well, I would have a few years ago, but since then, I've managed to carve myself a little nitch in the world and all the demons left are within me, not around me.  For the most part I have managed to achieve peace with the world and it has declared a truce with me, so I'll just continue on my own way.


Hi, I guess I have to agree, with this, I'm 40 and it has really gotten worse, and for me , I'm also in the same boat with Cass on this. Its the only way for me. :angel:

I have to totaly agree with Teri. It is estimated that one in ten thousand are afflicted(doctors words not mine) with GID. Most of us in the US and Canada are probably right here at Susan's. I wouldn't wish it on anyone and like Teri I wish I could find that middle ground that has brought Deb so much peace and happiness. But no such middle ground exists. I am like the salmon swimming upstream, and some people seem to want to put a dam up to keep me from completing my journey.

The surgery is not really the end though. Northern Jane and Leigh are probably the best to talk on that point. But getting everything done that can be medicaly acheived is all that I can focus on right now. I know in my heart this will give me some measure of peace, the rest will be up to me.


I don't think you can do more than generalize from the experiences of others.  While many here   are compelled to transition, there are others like DebTV who find the middle ground and peace.
Only time, self-reflection, and therapy will answer your question in a way that is right for you.  The idea that if you keep busy enough you can keep your dysphoria at bay will probably not work forever.  That was my method of denial, always working, always striving until I realized all that I'd accomplished meant nothing to me. My dysphoria and disconnect from the world grew worse every year until all the layers and methods of denial just caved in.  Maybe you'll find a way to plateau or deal with this but it's unlikely you'll discover the truth by running from this and burying yourself in work.



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