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Should i pause my life for transitioning or go with the flow?


I'm applying for College and just started HRT pellet implants. My face passes really well however my voice is a different story and my body is debatable. I plan on applying now so i can start school in the spring and i'm moving to a new city where noone knows me. However i don't want to go to school and not pass well and having transitioning on my mind but at the same time i've already wasted enough of my life by finishing highschool late and don't want to waste anymore time. I plan on getting Yesen femenization surgery either later this fall or early next year depending on how my parents feel. I also plan on getting SRS in the summer which is another thing. My main concerns is how am i gonna juggle being trans/passing while starting my new life in college (which could be stressful). I don't know if i should just keep moving forward in all directions or stop and really take care of myself (body and passing) before i could take on another challenge like college.

I'm 20 btw and turning 21 soon.

i won't lie, it's not easy. i did the same thing at 17-18. while i had just over a year of hrt below the belt by the time i had my first day of university, it seems like you're going to have almost as long to do that. and honestly, i really can't underestimate how much of a difference it makes in how people see you. my world turned upside down overnight, and that can be its own turbulent affair. it can be done, but don't beat yourself up over it if you don't feel ready for it when the time comes. most schools will let you take a gap semester/gap year, and that might be a big help if you're feeling like you have too much to do in too little time.

(another thing you should think about with regards to srs specifically is whether/how you're going to have a place to do your dilations. if you're going to live in on-campus housing, you should try to get in touch with the housing dean earlier rather than later to get accommodations in a private room with a private bathroom; most schools have a determined number of these as accessible rooms that don't usually get filled completely. if you're off-campus and going to have an apartment this is less of an issue.)

Tessa James:
Princess you are in an enviable position of starting over in a new city where no one knows you.  This seems like an excellent opportunity to be getting on with it and not "waste any more time."  I am transitioning in an area where I am well known and that is a challenge as folks will remember "him" for some time.  When I travel to other places and meet new people I find passing is much easier and I am readily accepted.

Some girls here swear by the pellets as the best way to do smooth levels of HRT.  Of course there will be stress in the kingdom as any new venture is full of dynamic events.  I don't know about you but, I feel much more confident as myself, Tessa, than when I was hiding and living a shame based sham. 

Getting to know new people and making new friends often means revealing something about yourself.  You are going to be in situations where someone might ask about your high school days or what life was like for you "back home."  It seems to me it will be a heck of a lot easier if we can approach these circumstances with honesty and consistency.  I found that I tripped myself up when I attempted to avoid or hide my past but then I have 60+ years to account for.   How do you want to introduce yourself?

As a college trustee I expect there should be well established diversity groups and support for you on campus.  I think you can do all you want and with your youth, have the energy to keep your head in positive territory.  There is flexibility in scheduling and you may want to talk with college advisors early on especially if you know what programs are of interest.

Good luck!

To be honest, if you survive the menaces and masses of school life as a transgender you'll be soo much more prepared to go for the real deal, after all, college is only a few years, and after that you'll never have to see anyone there ever again.

I'm in college as well and transitioning, and despite it being scary af I couldn't imagine a better testing ground.


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