Kia Ora,
Heaven...Hell...Happiness...Sadness...Love...Hate !
As trans-people we continually pass through all these conflicting feelings & emotions, and at times getting caught up and staying a little more longer with the unpleasant ones than with the more pleasant ones ....
However, judging by some posts there are a few skilled psychonaut members(psychē "soul/spirit/mind" and naútēs "sailor/navigator")) whom it would seem, have developed the ability to just "Go with the flow" of their feelings and emotions, sailing the mind's ocean of uncertainty on their boat of contentment so to speak...
Do we 'create' our own version of reality ?( rough or calm seas ?) Or do we have no say/choice in how we perceive things ? (a boat without rudder,sails....or outboard motor)
In a nutshell ....In any given situation do we have a choice in how we will react ?
Just a bit of mind tripping
so you don't have to share your thoughts, but you're most welcome to if you feel inclined ...
Metta Anatta 
I like to think about this too. We can argue that we have the ability to make decisions, but is it really our brains and the external environment that is making decisions?
Free-will may be argued to have a structure consisting of elements like: cognitive understanding of reality (existence, paradigms, social norms — you identify with something so you become that person, you subconsciously filter out things you aren't interested in or don't want), preference (e.g. feeling; favourite foods, pain), and what the subconscious leads us to do.
We are self-aware animals, so we view ourselves as having a choice. I'm ignorant as to why we are self-aware, but what contributes to our self-awareness is our ability to speak, and the diversity of decisions we can make in a society very dependent on social interaction (we work to make money, choose which clothes to wear and how to present, make conversation with others; both through indirect speech and body language, what we say is important to what happens within our lives).
I personally believe perfect free-will is an illusion, but our experiences are satisfying enough to be viewed as free will. But interestingly when I pray or make a positive affirmation like "everything is OK", things do seem to get better and I cognitively seem to zoom into positive things surrounding this (I'm agnostic theist which means for me I believe in God but don't claim to know anything about God).