Author Topic: The Totally New Even More Bad Jokes Thread  (Read 162631 times)

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CindyJames

The Totally New Even More Bad Jokes Thread
« on: June 22, 2014, 09:06:08 pm »
A farmer lived in ancient Rome. He was working in the fields one day when he came across a giant strawberry, about one foot wide and 18 inches high. He thought this would be a novelty that many would want to see, so he took it home, washed it off, and set up a display in a case. He advertised the giant strawberry far and wide, and people came from all over to see the exhibit. He charged admission and made a pile of money.

However, he failed to report his earnings to the tax authorities, so they came to his farm to confiscate the exhibit. When they arrived at his door, he said, "I suppose you have come all this way to admire my exhibit as well?"

"No," they said. "We've come to seize your berry, not to praise it."






Edited title a bit to merge topics
« Last Edit: June 23, 2014, 09:12:39 pm by V M »

Offline dalebert

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Re: The Totally New Even More Bad Jokes Thread
« Reply #1 on: June 23, 2014, 08:18:45 pm »
The last bad jokes thread was lost to malware, but we have rebuilt it--stronger, faster, cheesier than before.

You will moan, you will groan, you will hide your face and snicker in silent shame.

Offline dalebert

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Offline immortal gypsy

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Re: The Totally New Even More Bad Jokes Thread
« Reply #3 on: June 23, 2014, 08:28:39 pm »
The last bad jokes thread was lost to malware, but we have rebuilt it--stronger, faster, cheesier than before.


So we are saying these are "The Six Million Dollar Jokes"
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Offline Nero

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Re: The Totally New Even More Bad Jokes Thread
« Reply #4 on: June 23, 2014, 08:33:51 pm »
Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.

Offline V M

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Re: The Totally New Even More Bad Jokes Thread
« Reply #5 on: June 23, 2014, 08:58:27 pm »
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a rhinoceros?

Not quite sure, but it certainly is a horny little pecker 
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Offline EmoAlice

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Re: The Totally New Even More Bad Jokes Thread
« Reply #6 on: June 23, 2014, 09:06:16 pm »
Must be really bad, cause I don't get it.  :laugh: Nice shoes though.

ten issues = tennis shoes

Offline dalebert

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Re: The Totally New Even More Bad Jokes Thread
« Reply #7 on: June 24, 2014, 08:08:29 am »

Offline EmoAlice

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Re: The Totally New Even More Bad Jokes Thread
« Reply #8 on: June 24, 2014, 02:53:13 pm »

Jill F

Re: The Totally New Even More Bad Jokes Thread
« Reply #9 on: June 24, 2014, 03:01:20 pm »
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a rhinoceros?

Not quite sure, but it certainly is a horny little pecker

Oh, that's bad.  Reminds me of this one you've all heard since the beginning of time.

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhinoceros?

Elephino.

I was going to post this piece of <poo>-
How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fish.

Offline Beth Andrea

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Re: The Totally New Even More Bad Jokes Thread
« Reply #10 on: June 24, 2014, 03:32:09 pm »
The last bad jokes thread was lost to malware, but we have rebuilt it--stronger, faster, cheesier than before.

You will moan, you will groan, you will hide your face and snicker in silent shame.

Oh my...civilization has been set back an undetermined number of time-units with the loss...;)
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Offline dalebert

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Re: The Totally New Even More Bad Jokes Thread
« Reply #11 on: June 24, 2014, 03:44:32 pm »
I commented in another thread how devastated I am. It's like the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

Offline Dee Marshall

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Re: The Totally New Even More Bad Jokes Thread
« Reply #12 on: June 24, 2014, 04:31:40 pm »
Wanna hear a good knock knock joke?

You start.
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Offline dalebert

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Re: The Totally New Even More Bad Jokes Thread
« Reply #13 on: June 25, 2014, 03:05:11 pm »
Statuetory rape (It's actually fairly SFW)

Offline dalebert

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Re: The Totally New Even More Bad Jokes Thread
« Reply #14 on: June 30, 2014, 04:29:38 pm »
Bad joke is right at the beginning of the video if you don't want to watch the whole thing. :)


Offline dalebert

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Re: The Totally New Even More Bad Jokes Thread
« Reply #15 on: July 01, 2014, 03:49:39 pm »
On his 70th birthday, a man was given a gift certificate from his wife.

The certificate was for consultation with an Indian medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a simple cure for erectile dysfunction!

The husband went to the reservation and saw the medicine man.

The old Indian gave him a potion and with a grip on his shoulder warned, 'This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful, and then say '1-2-3.'

When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life, and you can perform for as long as you want."

The man thanked the old Indian and as he walked away, he turned and asked,

"By the way, just in case: how do I stop the medicine working?"

"Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,' he responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."

He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom.

When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!"

Immediately, he was the manliest of men. His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes, but then she asked...........

"What was the 1-2-3 for.......?"

And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.

Offline Nero

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Re: The Totally New Even More Bad Jokes Thread
« Reply #16 on: July 01, 2014, 04:06:13 pm »
LOL that was actually pretty good.  :laugh:
Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.

Shantel

Re: The Totally New Even More Bad Jokes Thread
« Reply #17 on: July 02, 2014, 09:23:54 am »
This tickled my funny bone, it's so how my kids were!


Offline dalebert

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Re: The Totally New Even More Bad Jokes Thread
« Reply #18 on: July 03, 2014, 09:06:13 pm »

Offline dalebert

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Re: The Totally New Even More Bad Jokes Thread
« Reply #19 on: July 03, 2014, 10:17:17 pm »

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