Community Conversation > Transgender talk

It's not multiple choice!

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Shelley:
I believe that there is 'class trend' creaping into this thread. The question I would ask is if the only ones who need therapy and access to sites like this are the 'true trans' and the rest can be dismissed as fakes then why have therapy.

The point of therapy I believe is to help the individual discover where in the spectrum that they reside and to provide help in gaining self understanding and direction from there. If an individual is 100% sure and ready to go through transition why would they need support groups to deal with confusion? Good luck I say but don't look down on your sisters and brothers trying to find their path in life.

I know that some don't hold that CD's belong to the TG spectrum and the discrimination I have faced in the past has rammed that home. I can live with that outside and even here but when we start to create second class citizens who do not yet know whether they are TG or not and those who do are we not discriminating ourselves. Is this not what we choose to damn the outside world for.

The danger that I see is not that we will have 'non believers' or 'unwashed' amongst but that an individual reaching out for help will be turned away to what could be dire consequences.

Maybe rightly or wrongly I have espoused to new members here that this is a place where you can try on the experiences of others to see if they fit and that you can do this in a non-threatening safe environment without judgement. This is my belief. Am I wrong, are we worried that some misguided individuals may invade our domain and cause people to misunderstand us more? Firstly is this possible, secondly should we be judging others as to whether they are truly TG or just misguided. Is that not their journey and do we not profess to help them on that journey through the sharing of our own experiences.   

This post may seem more forceful than my usual but I have to say the moment that I see someone trying to put themselves above another or stating categorically that they know what another is thinking or that they reinterpret what another has said or profess to know all and dismiss others I find my temperature rising.

You want to know what I think? I think we are all individuals and we are all passing through one point to get to another. Where we are going is dependent on us. We have shared some points in the past and may share more in the future. Right now however we are at one point here at Susan's.

Susan provided a haven for us on our individual journeys. She has created a site that makes us feel safe an allows us to interchange information in a friendly atmosphere. For this I am greatful beyond her imagining.

Many of you don't see what transpires in the background to ensure the safety of the individuals who visit this site. I am priviledged to do so. I mean priviledged, I am one who is allowed to participate in that part of the managent of this site. I feel therefore that the insite that I have provided is with a little experience. Not as much as some here but none the less with some experience.

I would ask then that in the spirit of this site that we all sit back and consider why we are here and what we like about being here. I would also ask that we accept that we share a point in time and that who we would like that point to be with. For me I would like to share it with others who come here seeking help and guidance and with my friends here at Susan's who I have grown to love very deeply and who are a very important part of my life. My friends who I have come to know as accepting of me because I'm me.

Shelley

Sorry this messsage was so long it's just been busting to get out for a little while.

DawnL:
I am not espousing elitism. Any suggestion about trans becoming trendy was to suggest that people outside the transgender community might be drawn to it, thinking being trans is cool.  Misguided is way different than trend-following.  If people want to crossdress and gender bend because it's cool, I don't care but if too many people decide they need surgery on a whim or to be cool--that is a problem.

Dawn



Posted at: December 11, 2005, 12:50:50 AM
--- Quote from: Shelley on December 10, 2005, 03:55:06 pm ---I believe that there is 'class trend' creaping into this thread. The question I would ask is if the only ones who need therapy and access to sites like this are the 'true trans' and the rest can be dismissed as fakes then why have therapy.
--- End quote ---

There was no class trend, it was an observation, and wasn't meant to denigrate anyone.  I think you read way too much into a couple of comments on trans being trendy or cool.  I don't see that anyone said anything about who might or might not need treatment besides you.  Fakes and the misguided have always been an issue and will continue to be.  Stating that isn't an elitist statement, it's just another observation.  In your statement above, you make a huge assumption about the intent of this discussion to establish something like a "true trans".  Nobody said anything like that.  Therapy is for everyone, nobody said otherwise.  SRS is not for everyone, mistakes there can have wide repercussions.

For all we know, trans becoming trendy might just be a good thing. I doubt it, but who knows.

Dawn

Shelley:
Hi Dawn,

None of what I said was directed at you personally but more at the direction the conversation was going. It was a compilation of things that had been said of late that I thought was being encapsulated in that conversation. In fact I found what you were saying was fairly even handed.

Shelley

Terri-Gene:

--- Quote ---if too many people decide they need surgery on a whim or to be cool--that is a problem.  Please don't read something into my posts that wasn't there.  I was only making an observation
--- End quote ---

Good statement Dawn, but for those who do not understand the bottom line TS outlook on life, it's hard to understand them ever understanding the outlook.  They can't really, even if they think they do.  You just have to be awfully careful how you state the truths a full Dysphoric feels in life so when you can, you have to think about how you say things in a mixed environment, as since they have no way to really understand, most will all to often take it wrong or Elietist.

Careful with your words when you can be and think it out before posting it when you can, and I know how hard that can be at times, but it is a must that a lot of TS peoples have a hard time learning, myself a lot to much also.

Terri

Terri-Gene:
There are some highly specific needs and consiquences between a surgically bound TS and other gender forms that do not seek such full time conversion with no chance of returning to where they came from at the beginning.

The labels we use, as stated and discussed often enough in these forums, is nothing more then our own beliefs in what type of Gender form we really are inside of ourselves, and to most all I have ever met consider themselves to be woman in mans body or man in womens body to those that require the full extent, including hair reduction or increasement, HRT and SRS (of course Females may not need much more then breast reduction to achieve malehood due to the much higher cost of surgery in thier case which at present is no where near as good as is available for males)  The term as used in general though, to the greatest many of mainstream public isn't as specific as it is to a Cd or TS.  The public sees us as all the same, just some with different needs, but we can all see the falsehood of such statements.  We simply are what we are and we are all different in our specific thinking and actions depending on our moods and life trials.

I know that at past times I was solely in favor of all the way TS's, but for some time now have reconsidered much or all of my feelings, emotions and way of thinking, making me much more inquisitive and accepting of others who will never share some of my basic beliefs in life and trials.  But at least in more recent times I stop and listen a little and by doing so understand more of things which are not and can not make real sense to me, but I meet enough people who share those beliefs, even though I never completely will.

There is no All of us in how transition works.  What is "transition for some out there makes no sense what so ever to others and that is simply how it is in real world time and events.  We each work  by and through our own methods.  Each to his/her own, even if actual outcome is virtually the same in each case, just arrived at by different means and stress.

Pay enough attention to the various theads around here and for the most part you will see that type of thinking very self evident.  Many here have been through all this, CD or TS that we have come to a kind of agreement about it.  We may not fully understand it all, even in our own cases, but we do our best to at least try, even if we will never really understand it all ourselves, but for the most part we do try, as best we can.

As to not wanting to impose any gender on anyone ish to impose any sort of gender categorisation on them.  I would beg to differ no that completely.  For me, I am what I am.  There are both good and bad parts of that, I can only do my best to eliminate the bad parts with more understanding and compenation of the good parts, thereby eliminating the bad as much as possible within the most reasonable time.  I can't think of anything better to say about that, it's just the way it is to me at least.

Agree, Disagree or be Indifferent.  It matters little to me other then the fact that the more I can talk to others, the better I understand myself, my motives and my failures for whatever reasons.

terri

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