Poll

When you hear a new song, a new joke, or something interesting happens to you, whom do want to tell? If there's someplace you want to go, who's the first person you ask along?

Spouse / significant other
Best friend
Housemate
Family member
Colleague at work
Other (tell us)
I wish I had someone like that
I don't really need some one like that

Author Topic: Who in your life do you feel most connected to?  (Read 4303 times)

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Offline suzifrommd

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Re: Who in your life do you feel most connected to?
« Reply #20 on: December 17, 2014, 07:29:03 am »
Thanks for all your replies.

I asked this question because I'm firmly in the "wish I had someone like that."

Since my separation, I really have no one to talk to about the things that are happening in my life. I have a lot of acquaintances, and very few friends. The friends such as I have make it clear I'm a really low priority in their life. If I call them, I can expect to wait a week or two for a return call.

There's no one I talk to on a regular basis, to hear what's going on in their life and to talk about mine. The loneliness is getting really, really painful.

I've been working with my therapist and she's been trying to help me with my social ineptitude, but she can't wave a wand and make friends appear. I wanted to know if other people where in the same position I was.

It seems that more than half the respondents have a friend or partner they can talk to, and less than 1 in 5 wish they had someone but didn't, so I'm clearly in a smallish minority. That would say to me that I'm not asking a lot and that there's probably something wrong with me or the way I interact that's causing me to be this alone.
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Offline Rainbow Dash

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Re: Who in your life do you feel most connected to?
« Reply #21 on: December 17, 2014, 07:31:53 am »
It used to be Birkin. Now, no one. Never again.
"Maybe I really joined with them to keep the loneliness at bay.
Yet in the end, you couldn't make it go away. Others could rely on you, but you couldn't rely on them."

"She's a little scared to get close to anyone because everyone who said, "I'll always be here for you," left."

Offline KittyKat

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Re: Who in your life do you feel most connected to?
« Reply #22 on: December 17, 2014, 10:39:20 am »
Thanks for all your replies.

I asked this question because I'm firmly in the "wish I had someone like that."

Since my separation, I really have no one to talk to about the things that are happening in my life. I have a lot of acquaintances, and very few friends. The friends such as I have make it clear I'm a really low priority in their life. If I call them, I can expect to wait a week or two for a return call.

There's no one I talk to on a regular basis, to hear what's going on in their life and to talk about mine. The loneliness is getting really, really painful.

I've been working with my therapist and she's been trying to help me with my social ineptitude, but she can't wave a wand and make friends appear. I wanted to know if other people where in the same position I was.

It seems that more than half the respondents have a friend or partner they can talk to, and less than 1 in 5 wish they had someone but didn't, so I'm clearly in a smallish minority. That would say to me that I'm not asking a lot and that there's probably something wrong with me or the way I interact that's causing me to be this alone.

Actually doesn't seem like you're in that small of a minority. Transitioning was like taking an axe to my family and I basically don't talk to anyone, then I moved miles away so I don't have to see anyone either. I don't have anyone to talk to either I live with my wife but in her own words "she's refusing to divorce me because I owe her health benefits and support until she can support herself for lying to her about not being a man." She however has not shown me love and has avoided all conversations that don't involve our son for the past year. Its actually more lonely then if I was living alone I think.

Offline Rawb

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Re: Who in your life do you feel most connected to?
« Reply #23 on: January 03, 2015, 08:58:45 am »
My boyfriend. He's such an amazing person I am constantly wondering if he's a hallucination.

Offline islandgirl

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Re: Who in your life do you feel most connected to?
« Reply #24 on: January 03, 2015, 09:58:45 am »
My wife. She is also my best friend and 'soul mate'. We have been together since high school and married for 40 years.

Offline Paul Muad-Dib

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Re: Who in your life do you feel most connected to?
« Reply #25 on: February 28, 2018, 12:24:59 pm »
A peripheral friend who lives on the other side of the planet.

I've learned a lot of things about family and friendship down the years, a lot of them about putting too much store in people only to be betrayed or disappointed. I generally don't confide much of anything to anyone any more and I don't run to anyone to ask them to come do things with me. But that guy's known me 15 years and in a strange way we know where each other is coming from. We've both been through some tough times, lost people, had our dark nights of the soul and it's somewhat reassuring to know although we both exude confidence and nonchalance to everyone around us that we do have a human side and certain weaknesses and it helps to know someone else knows what I mean. I'm wary about relying on anyone though so I'll just say I appreciate this guy. 
"If the freedom of speech is taken away, then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter."

Offline Cassi

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Re: Who in your life do you feel most connected to?
« Reply #26 on: February 28, 2018, 12:36:05 pm »
My daughter, niece, and youngest sister.
HRT since 1/04/2018

Offline KittyKatKiera

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Re: Who in your life do you feel most connected to?
« Reply #27 on: March 15, 2018, 04:37:45 pm »
No one other then PoP-Tart


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Offline Cassi

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Re: Who in your life do you feel most connected to?
« Reply #28 on: March 15, 2018, 04:43:45 pm »
No one other then PoP-Tart


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Wow, you must be rich!!!!!!
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Offline Julia1996

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Re: Who in your life do you feel most connected to?
« Reply #29 on: March 15, 2018, 05:05:21 pm »
My dad and brother.
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Offline Allison S

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Re: Who in your life do you feel most connected to?
« Reply #30 on: March 15, 2018, 08:22:58 pm »
My mom even though we clash a lot

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TicTac

Re: Who in your life do you feel most connected to?
« Reply #31 on: March 29, 2018, 03:14:51 am »
My mom. If it was not for her support then I would not have gotten very far in life honestly.  She is the reason why I was even able to transition as my social anxiety would not allow me to seek treatment on my own, because it would require me to actually speak to people.

My social anxiety has gotten better, and I think being transgender was causing it.

Offline SeptagonScars

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Re: Who in your life do you feel most connected to?
« Reply #32 on: April 27, 2018, 03:35:53 pm »
Family member. More specifically my mother. Growing up she was the parent I was the closest to, and I never connected well to my father. I can talk to my mother about anything, but I notice she gets uncomfortable about sexual topics so I try to avoid those unless it's really important. But just the other day we were discussing what kind of porn we both liked watching, so yeah.

She's been very supportive of me being trans, although it took her a long time to get used to my new name and pronouns. Now she's helping me with transition stuff, and anything I need help with, and she's always the one I turn to in most situations. Some things I rather keep to myself and/or talk to my therapist about instead though.

My only issues with her, really, are that I think I'm too dependent on her and that she is too over-protective. She underestimates me a lot.
Mar. 2009 - came out as ftm
Nov. 2009 - changed my name to John
Mar. 2010 - diagnosed with GID
Aug. 2010 - started T, then stopped after 1 year
Aug. 2013 - started T again, kept taking it since
Mar. 2014 - top surgery
Dec. 2014 - legal gender marker changed to male
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Jul. 2018 - came out as cis woman and began detransition
Sep. 2018 - stopped taking T and changed my name to Laura
Oct. 2018 - got new ID-card

Medical Detransition plans: breast reconstruction surgery, change legal gender back to female.

Offline Angela H

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Re: Who in your life do you feel most connected to?
« Reply #33 on: April 30, 2018, 02:15:17 pm »
My mom. If it was not for her support then I would not have gotten very far in life honestly.  She is the reason why I was even able to transition as my social anxiety would not allow me to seek treatment on my own, because it would require me to actually speak to people.

My social anxiety has gotten better, and I think being transgender was causing it.

Wow, it's pretty eerie how closely this sums me up!

My Mom and my sister have been incredibly supportive of me since I came out to them. They believed me when I told them I was a girl on the inside before I even really believed myself.  :laugh:

I also suffer from social anxiety. But when I told my therapist that I had been previously diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome, she was very skeptical because I had no trouble talking to her. She helped me realize that I had never really learned how to interact in social situations because I was getting nothing out of them.

Now I just have to put myself out there and get better at interacting with people!  ;D

RoRo

Re: Who in your life do you feel most connected to?
« Reply #34 on: May 07, 2018, 08:02:40 pm »
Definitely my Fiance who is like Kristoff to my Anna from Frozen and we finish each other's sandwiches. :)

Before he came into my life it was my Mom.

Offline Geeker

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Re: Who in your life do you feel most connected to?
« Reply #35 on: July 29, 2018, 11:00:04 pm »
No one really, but if I had to pick someone it'd be my aunt. She's really the only person in my life that has supported me, and I'll never be able to repay her for it.
I'm not out, I'm not on E, unless things change I doubt I ever will be.

Offline Sarah1979

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Re: Who in your life do you feel most connected to?
« Reply #36 on: October 12, 2018, 04:27:45 am »
My mom; my friends and the rest of my family pretty much all dropped me when I came out, and I could never bring myself to inflicting myself on someone in a relationship, so no spouse or kids.

Offline Athenajacob

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Re: Who in your life do you feel most connected to?
« Reply #37 on: October 12, 2018, 05:05:54 am »
I am so sorry to hear this, just know you are worthy of love. You just have to look for it, and believe it or not you will eventually find it I am sure!

Offline Liina

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Re: Who in your life do you feel most connected to?
« Reply #38 on: December 20, 2018, 08:19:53 pm »
At this point in time I am most connected to my common law spouse. Not that it has always been that way, mostly because she is the only I have left, family is all gone now. Even back when I did have family, it would have been my SO since nobody knew of my transgenderism. I think my mother would have been Okay with it though.

Liina

Online CynthiaAnn

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Re: Who in your life do you feel most connected to?
« Reply #39 on: April 14, 2019, 06:09:24 pm »
My soul mate of over 35 years, I am deeply connected to her in so many ways.....
kindness is love nurturing your soul....
a day in a life of Cynthia Ann @ https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,245988.0.html

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