Community Conversation > Youth talk

I don't think my grandma is supportive....


I'll repost this, as I didn't know there was a youth area thingy :P (yay copy and paste)

I told her a few months ago with my old therapist that I was trans. She seemed supportive, but her actions say otherwise.

Her behavior towards me has changed. When confronted, she acts like she's concerned, her voice makes me want to laugh because it's obviously fake. I can't do anything though. I can't move out, or live with other family. My mom, we stopped talking to her months ago when she chose her boyfriends over us (her children). Mom hasn't called me on Birthday, or Thanksgiving. Not counting on Christmas either.

Dad is dead. He died earlier this year. I barely knew him. I may seem evil, but his death didn't effect me at all.

Last month, I was kicked out of school for a fight. (Bullies, I came out as gay, but I found out about being trans later on. I didn't say anything about being trans due to my treatment at school by bullies and past 'friends'.)

When I went to enroll in another school (they didn't let me in, i was in another district), I told her I wanted to tell the staff about me being trans, so that I wouldn't have to deal with bullying and the teachers wouldn't be confused when I told them I was a boy. When I told her that, she scoffed at me and laughed. I asked her what was funny, and she said nothing. What she told me next, made me lose all trust in her.

"So you're trying to go up there pretending to be a boy? They gon' know you not a boy. Until you have this sex change, you are not a boy. So stop pretending to be something you not."

I was quiet the entire rid. When we got home, I didn't say anything to her. I should've realized this from the start. Every time I bring up the subject of me transitioning, she goes quiet, rolling her eyes, and refuses to look at information online.

Now, I know you would say "wait till you're 18". But I can't deal with the bullying anymore.

 I was fortunate enough to be born in California. As they don't require surgery to change your gender on your birth certificate, just medically necessary stuff, or something. But, she's the only one standing in my way of transitioning. Being 14, I can't drive. I want to meet a gender therapist, but my grandma refused to take me. As of right now, I don't even think my grandma cares about me in general, as she claims I'm supposed to take care of her for until she dies, and tries to destroy my dreams of going to another country. Hell, she doesn't even want me to get a job.

I'm tired of this, really tired. I don't see a therapist, as my grandma said I didn't need one. I'm really depressed. I would call CPS, but, foster care is not for me, I wouldn't be able to transition in foster care anyway. What do I do? I don't even know any family members that would be remotely supportive. As I've heard them openly say that LGBT people will rot in hell, God will strike them all down. I even heard one family member claim to beat up a trans woman, and he was praised for it. I know no one at all.

The only chance I have is with my dad's side of the family. Though some of them do drugs, I do know they are very supportive. I've stayed with them when I was younger. They're obviously better than my mom's side. I think my grandma knows this, as she refuses to allow me to live with them, she even deleted all of their numbers just so I wouldn't contact them......I'm betting on when we move to California (next month), I'll find them. In the meantime, I'm getting really frustrated with my grandma. Many times I have to hold back from lashing out at her. But her repeated remarks on LGBT people, and saying how I need to go to church, wear dresses, and grow my hair out, has gotten to me......her Christian remarks make me annoyed..........especially since I'm an atheist......

Hmm other than that, my only other problem is what haircut should I get? I'm looking for short, but not too short. Something that covers my big forehead though...........and doesn't take long to straighten and style every morning. I'm very lazy......

And I'll copy and paste mine :laugh:

Hi KenjiSama,

Welcome to the forum young man, we do have a special area for youths to talk safely,496.0.html

You are having a really tough time and I do feel for you. Is here a school counsellor you can talk to? Or a protection agency?

Seems that you could use some support to get through this bullying nonsense and for someone to talk to your Grandma.

You are with people who do understand here and sometimes a good vent really helps.



It makes me feel better that there's more people my age on here. Anyway, about your haicut, you know Nel from NCIS: LA, her haircut is short enough to be masculine, but hopefully feminine enough to satisfy your grandmother. The last thing you want to do is actually, physically lash out at her, so as soon as you can you probably should find your father's side. You have a phone book in your house right? You could potentially find them in that!! Still, Christians can be annoying right? If you want to annoy her a bit, like if she says this that and the other about lgbt people and them going to hell, just tell her "Jesus was friends with the poor, and down trodden. He'd have been on our side". If you don't want to, by all means don't but that'd (hopefully) change her mind. I dunno though, I don't think like a Christian anymore, I'm atheist too. Anyway, I hope this helped!
Hugs/high 5's/whatever you want instead,
Natty (Natalie)

Ok, this is Nell from NCIS: Los Angeles, this is a hairstyle I think you could create in about 5 minutes. Obviously, the sides and back of your hair will need to be long. After you get out of the shower(or just wet your hair then fry it) dry your hair a bit, leave it a bit damp, and put on a beanie kind of a hat and let the ends of your hair come out the bottom. What you wanna do now is try to have the ends of your hair curl around the bottom of the hat. I've done this before by accident, and I can't really help you in regards to the fringe. You're welcome!

Sorry mod/admin, I was about to remove that picture.


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