Author Topic: Should I be a girl?  (Read 3773 times)

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Offline IsIvanTransgender

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Should I be a girl?
« on: January 04, 2015, 02:19:08 am »
I am a teenage Chinese boy today and  becoming a girl is my dream because I want to have long hair and look like a girl. I don't need make-up as I prefer natural looking. Most of the time when I see Chinese girl walking around, it make me feel that they are more pretty and nicer than male. Almost all the time when I see boys, most of them doesn't look nice to me and some even look like gangster. There is very few boys who I will consider it to be nice. I personally feel girl talk nicer than boy. I also hardly hear girls saying bad words compared to boys who says bad words sometime regardless they are just playing or when they are angry. I dislike hearing people saying bad words so that's one reason why I prefer girls.   This is the hairstyle I want to have when I become a girl
http://hairextensions-usa.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Cute_Ways_To_Do_Long_Hair.jpg . I want it to be black hair instead of the colour shown in the image.

I also hope that I can have a chance to wear girl clothing when I turn into a female. I prefer people treat me like a female so it's easier to make friends with them. I prefer people to call me "her" instead of "him". I don't mind making friends with boys assuming the boys know how to behave but I prefer making friends with girls. The only interest I could think of that most boys will like it instead of girls is learning to do computer troubleshooting.

My concern now are

1) Am I Bisexual, transgender or what else could I be?

2) What should I do to get what I want? Remember, I am a teenager today so I will have to ask my parents.

3) Any side effects or disadvantage of becoming a girl?

4) As you know, boys generally have short hair. If I want to be a girls, will I have long hair like the link I had attached above?

5) What are the surgery I have to go through?

6) Should I proceed to be a girl if that's what I really want? I look rather confuse because I don't know whether I will really look like a girl after surgery, whether people will treat me like a girl and whether it will be a success.

7) Can transgender female marry a female? I am from Singapore so please help me to check it out. I couldn't find the answer from Google so I will appreciate if you can give me the answer.

7b) If yes, is transgender female the father when the female born babies?

7c) Is there any effects when the babies are born if I am transgender female?

8) Do I go to the female or male toilet after transgender?

9) Can you please share some images of teenage man who become transgender female? I had tried searching on Google but some of the images are irreverent and look disgusting.

10) Anything else for me to know? I don't have much knowledge over this so I will really appreciate if you can share something that will benefit me.


Thank you so much for taking the time to answer all my questions. I understand that it take quite some time to reply all the questions so I am really thankful if you actually take the time to answer them.

Do check back here after answering as I will most probably reply to you.

Offline Ms Grace

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Re: Should I be a girl?
« Reply #1 on: January 04, 2015, 02:59:32 am »
Hi! You have a lot of questions and that is perfectly understandable.

We cannot tell you if you are trans gender, only you can do that for yourself. The best thing to do is talk to a counsellor or a therapist and work through your concerns and feelings. Liking girls and the things they do or say or the way they look doesn't necessarily make you transgender but it doesn't mean you aren't.

Generally being transgender means you do not identify with the gender and/or gender roles assigned you at birth because of your genetic sex. Maybe you feel uncomfortable having to present/live as male and would prefer to live as a woman. That usually entails taking hormones, changing the way you dress and your name and appearance, etc. It's not easy and it doesn't happen overnight, hormones can have a significant effect on your body and you would want to be pretty darn sure it was what you wanted before taking them. That's why seeing a therapist to talk about it is so important.

A lot of the other issues you raise will depend on your local laws, and unless we have any Singaporean experts here I think you might need to find that out through local channels.
Grace
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Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
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Online V M

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Re: Should I be a girl?
« Reply #2 on: January 04, 2015, 03:31:24 am »
Hi Ivan  :icon_wave:

Welcome to Susan's  :)  Glad to have you here, join on in the fun but cross posting the same message across multiple boards is not allowed on this site

Here's some quick links to help you along

Please be sure to review


Hugs

V M
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Re: Should I be a girl?
« Reply #3 on: January 09, 2015, 10:27:05 am »
I'm a trans male (ftm), so I don't know how valid my insight is, but I can give it a shot.

1) That's really something you have to figure out yourself. It sounds like you're transgender but if you don't really feel like you are in your heart, then you probably aren't.

2) The first step is coming out. Talk to them about it. Make sure to do a lot of research first though, so you know where you want to start.

3) There are always going to be disadvantages to just being transgender in general. You have to deal with society, hormones, and surgery (only if you wish to do either of those). It's different for anyone, but I think there's always gonna be something difficult you have to deal with.

4) You don't have to have long hair to be a girl. But if you want, you can grow out your hair as long as you want. Depending on what your hair is like, it might be a little more difficult since birth males tend to have higher hairlines and thinner hair.

5) Technically you don't "have" to have any surgery, but there are a few options. The most popular ones are breast implants and a "sex change" (I don't know exactly what it's referred to in the MtF community, so feel free to correct me). This would involve the inversion of the penis to create a vagina. It's a lot more complicated than that, but you can look into it yourself if you're interested. There's also the option of FFS, facial feminization surgery. This is essentially plastic surgery that alters your facial features appear more feminine. There's also electrolysis to remove your facial hair.

6) Absolutely. Go with your gut. There will always be people that don't accept you, but nobody's opinions matter more than yours. It's really hard to know what to expect, but if you feel strongly about this, then I think you should go for it.

7) I don't know what the marriage laws in Singapore are, but it depends on what your legal gender is. If it's still male, then yes. But if you change it to female then it all just depends on what the laws are on same-sex marriage.

7b) Well, regardless of how the child was conceived, if you are female and you feel female, then you can consider yourself a mother if you want.

7c) There shouldn't be any problems directly related to you being transgender, but if you want to actually create the baby yourself I don't know if estrogen (the female hormone) makes you impotent or not, if someone does that would be great.

8 Whatever you're most comfortable with. At some point, you will most likely look more female than male, but until then it may be safer to use the men's restroom. But again, it's really your choice. There's not a huge difference other than the fact that men's restrooms have urinals.

9) You can find a lot of pictures of people's transitions on reddit.com/r/transpassing. I would try checking tumblr too, in the tag mtf or transwoman or something like that.

10) That's about all I can think of. You can very easily find a lot of resources and information that is most likely much more thorough and accurate than mine by making a simple google search. I hope this helps.

Offline Asche

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Re: Should I be a girl?
« Reply #4 on: January 09, 2015, 03:08:14 pm »
When people say "being a girl", it can mean one (or more) of several things:

1.  Doing things that people think of as "girl things," like wearing dresses, not using bad words, liking babies, being mostly friends with women -- or falling in love with boys/men.
2.  Feeling like you are really a girl inside.
3.  Having a body that looks female.  (Or that a doctor says is female.)
4.  Getting other people to treat you the way they treat girls/women (using a name usually used for women, using words for yourself that are used for women, like "she" or "mother" or "daughter", using language that people in your culture use with women and not men, etc.)
5.  Having your government say you are female.

A lot of people here are girls (or women) -- or want to be girls/women --  in some of these ways and not in others.  If you find a good therapist/gender counsellor, they can help you figure out which ways you want to be a girl.  By the way, some men do some of these things, but don't think it makes them women.

After that, you have to figure out what you can do about it in your society.  I don't know much about Singapore, so I can't help with that.  Your counsellor (if (s)he is in Singapore) should be able to help, though.

"...  I think I'm great just the way I am, and so are you." -- Jazz Jennings



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