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Why is passing so important to us?

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I've always assumed my motivation to "pass" has been driven for a desire not to be clocked. I don't like the weird stares. I don't like being misgendered by people who, once realizing I'm trans, can't drive the male image out of their heads. I like people to get to know me as a woman before they get to know me as a trans woman.

Now I'm wondering if it's that simple.

As I examine my motivations further, I think I fashioned my idea of what a woman looks like by looking at cis women. I hadn't met a trans woman until I was in my 20s. Maybe my ideal image of myself as a woman doesn't include someone who is recognizable as having been born with a male body.

I'm curious to hear from other transfolk of both genders. Is your interest in passing driven solely by practical concerns (social acceptance, for example), or does it run deeper? Is it somehow tied to your image of yourself as a member of your identified gender?

I think for a lot of people, passing is like winning a contest. Truthfully, c'mon, let's be can see male in the face of almost every woman here. Myself included, but I openly identify as a crossdresser, and I'm usually in male mode. I get misgendered so to speak with miss, ma'am and lots of corrections thrown in.  Anguish level out of me?  0%

Hugs, Devlyn

Jill F:
I don't know.  I went full time when I couldn't take another minute of "fake guy mode" and realized that I needed to start living for me instead of others' expectations.  I frankly didn't care anymore what anyone thought of me.  Let's face it, I got clocked a lot early on, but it didn't stop me. 

Honestly, passing is important to me. I would be lying if I said otherwise. But, at the same time, I'm not going to boast about it when I do. That would be super lame to do that. Having said all that, I don't like getting involved with that whole "do you think I pass" <poo>? I don't care about that stuff. I think it's stupid to be obsessed with that. I just go by how things are out in the world. That's all that matters to me.

I would have to say that passing is very important to me. I want people to see me on the outside how i see myself inside. I don't want anyone to doubt that I am a female, both inside and out. I think it would make my transition easier.
I would love to say I don't care how people see me or what they think but I just can't.


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