Author Topic: First ever salon trip...did not go well  (Read 3142 times)

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Offline VikingArchangel

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First ever salon trip...did not go well
« on: January 21, 2015, 08:12:20 pm »
So! I've been trying to grow my hair out for a while now (duh!), and it turns out to be naturally MEGA thick. Once it got down past my ears, I went to a nearby chain store salon (Can we say brands? Not sure...) and asked one of the people there if there was something that could be done with it without removing any length. Apparently, the solution is to thin it out with these weird scissors, which she did. And that's it. I should mention here that I'm not full time yet and was in guy mode. I guess she assumed...? It wasn't until I got home to wash my hair and try some different styles that I noticed something...

It's now several inches shorter. She did exactly what I asked her NOT to do. UGH...took me months to grow that. I know it's a stupid thing to post about, but I was all kinds of excited until I got done washing it at home.

Offline Devlyn

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Re: First ever salon trip...did not go well
« Reply #1 on: January 21, 2015, 09:23:57 pm »
Big hug! One good thing about hair, it grows back. You learned something too, so that's a plus!

Hugs, Devlyn
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Jill F

Re: First ever salon trip...did not go well
« Reply #2 on: January 21, 2015, 09:37:59 pm »
My wife has had this problem before.  Sometimes you get a person who won't listen and just do whatever they think will look good on you without asking.  All it takes is one bad snip, and it's over.   Some people hear "take off two inches from the back" and think it means "I should take off at least four", even at the best places.  Her advice is to find someone you like and never go to anyone else.

Offline Eva Marie

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Re: First ever salon trip...did not go well
« Reply #3 on: January 22, 2015, 12:33:41 am »
I was still in boy mode and was working out of town on an extended assignment. I had neglected to get a badly needed haircut when I was at home, so against my better judgement I went into one of those "super" hair cut places. You would THINK that I would know better since I had used them before and had been shaved bald, but NO - in I went.

The girl that cut my hair did not listen to me one iota and she gave me a VERY short cut. I was furious when I realized what she had done and I stormed out of the place. It was so short I had to get creative with hair gel to get it to look presentable for an office environment. It took a really long time to grow it out again.

Take Jill's advice - find someone that listens to you and offers helpful styling advice instead of just getting out the bowl - and never change hair stylists after that.

Offline JennyTG

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Re: First ever salon trip...did not go well
« Reply #4 on: December 28, 2019, 05:46:28 am »
^^^  For sure, hanging onto my latest stylist for as long as poss.  Took so long to find the right one, and she has loads of good advice for growing hair out with quality products.  I couldn't be happier with the current situation :)
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Offline AnneK

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Re: First ever salon trip...did not go well
« Reply #5 on: December 28, 2019, 05:52:02 am »
Quote
Sometimes you get a person who won't listen and just do whatever they think will look good on you without asking.

Some of them consider themselves to be "artists" and how dare you tell them what you want!   :o

I've been having the same two women cutting my hair for almost a quarter century.  I have been to some of those salons where the people working there are so full of themselves I want to puke.
I'm a 67 year old AMAB who has been thinking about SRS for many years.  I also was a  full cross dresser for a few years.  I wear a bra, pantyhose and nail polish daily because it just feels right.

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Offline Lyric

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Re: First ever salon trip...did not go well
« Reply #6 on: December 31, 2019, 01:23:42 pm »
I'm a genetic male who has worn long hair most of time for several decades. Here's some knowledge dispensing. Salon haircutters make their livings cutting hair and creating styles that require regular maintenance. Cutting hair shorter is in their best interest and they typically develop a mindset that rationalizes this. My best advice is to avoid these people as much as possible. If you must use a stylist, shop around carefully for someone who you can talk to and feel will cut your hair the way you want it.

Any good stylist knows how to trim hair lightly for someone who is growing their hair out. This is easy when hair is 6-7 inches long or more, but when your hair is still fairly short it's going through the so-called "awkward stage" before the growth direction changes to a downward angle. There's pretty much no good haircut for this stage. About the best you can do are things like slick it down with product or wear hats, headbands or gadgets. Oh, and avoid haircutters!

Just stick it out until you have some length. Ask around about decent stylists, but avoid them as much as possible. In spite of what some may say, there's usually no need to cut ends more often than once every 2-3 months-- and even then 1/8 inch will often do. You can actually do this yourself if you wear a simpler cut. I've cut mine many times.
"Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life." - Steve Jobs

Offline Ellie_Arroway

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Re: First ever salon trip...did not go well
« Reply #7 on: January 01, 2020, 01:37:30 pm »
Reminds me of that old Harp advert.

"Just a trim, please."
"You could have a Lionel Blair cut, like mine!"
"Lionel Blair doesn't have is hair cut the way yours is."
"He does if he comes here." Click. Buzz...
Queue human-shaped hole in wall! (Well, that wasn't in the ad, but you get the picture.)

At least you have hair... Technically I could grow my hair out, but my bald spot is about the size of the moon.
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Pammie

Re: First ever salon trip...did not go well
« Reply #8 on: January 01, 2020, 02:05:41 pm »
Reminds me of that old Harp advert.

"Just a trim, please."
"You could have a Lionel Blair cut, like mine!"
"Lionel Blair doesn't have is hair cut the way yours is."
"He does if he comes here." Click. Buzz...
Queue human-shaped hole in wall! (Well, that wasn't in the ad, but you get the picture.)

At least you have hair... Technically I could grow my hair out, but my bald spot is about the size of the moon.
My hairdresser was the second person I came out too and she is wonderful. This was way before full time transition. She came up with a plan for how i could have my hair and we started from that day to work on that - she’s wonderful and i’m dead happy how it’s going
I’d never dream of going anywhere else!


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Offline Ellie_Arroway

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Re: First ever salon trip...did not go well
« Reply #9 on: January 01, 2020, 03:27:00 pm »
My hairdresser was the second person I came out too and she is wonderful. This was way before full time transition. She came up with a plan for how i could have my hair and we started from that day to work on that - she’s wonderful and i’m dead happy how it’s going
I’d never dream of going anywhere else!

Pammie, you're not saying she could help someone with only a horseshoe of hair left, I'm assuming? I haven't published how I used to look here but Patrick Stewart is all you have to imagine really...
Started seriously questioning: 24 Aug 2019
Referred to GIC: 23 Sep 2019
Full-time female presentation since: 21 Oct 2019, unbroken since 12 Dec 2019
Official name change by deed poll: 11 Nov 2019
HRT: started 6 Apr 2021 via GenderCare/NHS shared care
Care switched to NHS: 22 Sep 2021
Most of my story is in the Just another mtf tale thread!
Twitch streamer MusicEllie

Pammie

Re: First ever salon trip...did not go well
« Reply #10 on: January 01, 2020, 03:30:00 pm »
Pammie, you're not saying she could help someone with only a horseshoe of hair left, I'm assuming? I haven't published how I used to look here but Patrick Stewart is all you have to imagine really...
Sorry Hun! I’m not saying that. Hair was one of my pluses (both my brothers are follically challenged but my sister and I have good hair)


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Offline sarahc

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Re: First ever salon trip...did not go well
« Reply #11 on: January 01, 2020, 08:25:51 pm »
This thread is why I haven't been to a hairdresser in 11 months (but the downside is that my hair looks really shaggy at this point...). Scares the heck out of me that if I go they'll mess everything up. Fortunately, I've gotten a referral to a trans-friendly stylist who knows his stuff. Seeing him soon...

Sarah
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48 years young.
Known that I am trans since...forever.
First therapy session / decided to transition / hair removal: October 2018
HRT: January 2019 (journal https://www.susans.org/forums/index.phpVF/topic,244009.0.html)
VFS: September 2019; three-month report here
Full-time: April 2020
FFS: August 2020
SRS: January 2021

Pammie

Re: First ever salon trip...did not go well
« Reply #12 on: January 02, 2020, 01:31:56 am »
This thread is why I haven't been to a hairdresser in 11 months (but the downside is that my hair looks really shaggy at this point...). Scares the heck out of me that if I go they'll mess everything up. Fortunately, I've gotten a referral to a trans-friendly stylist who knows his stuff. Seeing him soon...

Sarah
My recommendation is when you find a hairdresser you like stick with them!


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Offline JennyTG

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Re: First ever salon trip...did not go well
« Reply #13 on: January 03, 2020, 02:48:03 pm »
My recommendation is when you find a hairdresser you like stick with them!


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I couldn't agree more!
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Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: First ever salon trip...did not go well
« Reply #14 on: January 19, 2020, 02:50:09 pm »
So! I've been trying to grow my hair out for a while now (duh!), and it turns out to be naturally MEGA thick. Once it got down past my ears, I went to a nearby chain store salon (Can we say brands? Not sure...) and asked one of the people there if there was something that could be done with it without removing any length. Apparently, the solution is to thin it out with these weird scissors, which she did. And that's it. I should mention here that I'm not full time yet and was in guy mode. I guess she assumed...? It wasn't until I got home to wash my hair and try some different styles that I noticed something...

It's now several inches shorter. She did exactly what I asked her NOT to do. UGH...took me months to grow that. I know it's a stupid thing to post about, but I was all kinds of excited until I got done washing it at home.


That is absolutely unacceptable!  Very wrong!  Do not return!  Fortunately, your hair will grow out at about the rate of a half inch a month.  But this was a five to six month setback for you and I know this is tough to accept.

I do suggest to always make it sure that your desire to not cut off more than, let’s say, about 1/2 inch all around must be carried out. 

It sounds as if the stylist used thinning shears, which makes sense. This cuts out weight or volume, but not length for the remaining hairs that were not cut.

I like my hair to be thick, so I make it clear that I do want to keep it that way and to thin it out only to accommodate the style wanted. 

You could also say that you are genderfluid or transitioning and you desire your hair to be growing out and that you want it to look feminine from the style going forward.  You can also state that it would be nice if it could look male with some different combing or using mousse, etc. if you need to be out as male still.

My hair turned out so feminine after my cooperative stylist got done after two visits that I had to take some steps to make it look less feminine, because I was getting a lot of notice when out as male that “something is going on here as your hair is so pretty and feminine.”  But in part that was because I had a gorgeous multi coloring done.  I did revert my color back to its natural color.

I wish you much better results next time!

With that said, I just noticed I am replying to a message that was posted by the original poster FIVE YEARS ago!  All well.  Maybe my post will help another sister here!   :)  @Devlyn

Hugs,

Chrissy




Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that you speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Pammie

First ever salon trip...did not go well
« Reply #15 on: January 19, 2020, 03:35:44 pm »

That is absolutely unacceptable!  Very wrong!  Do not return!  Fortunately, your hair will grow out at about the rate of a half inch a month.  But this was a five to six month setback for you and I know this is tough to accept.

I do suggest to always make it sure that your desire to not cut off more than, let’s say, about 1/2 inch all around must be carried out. 

It sounds as if the stylist used thinning shears, which makes sense. This cuts out weight or volume, but not length for the remaining hairs that were not cut.

I like my hair to be thick, so I make it clear that I do want to keep it that way and to thin it out only to accommodate the style wanted. 

You could also say that you are genderfluid or transitioning and you desire your hair to be growing out and that you want it to look feminine from the style going forward.  You can also state that it would be nice if it could look male with some different combing or using mousse, etc. if you need to be out as male still.

My hair turned out so feminine after my cooperative stylist got done after two visits that I had to take some steps to make it look less feminine, because I was getting a lot of notice when out as male that “something is going on here as your hair is so pretty and feminine.”  But in part that was because I had a gorgeous multi coloring done.  I did revert my color back to its natural color.

I wish you much better results next time!

With that said, I just noticed I am replying to a message that was posted by the original poster FIVE YEARS ago!  All well.  Maybe my post will help another sister here!   :)  @Devlyn

Hugs,

Chrissy
I think I already posted this earlier but having a close relationship with my hairdresser is very important to me and she was the first non family person I came out to.
She had been giving me short back and sides for 6
years previously and for the last 5 years she has been progressing the plan she made when she first heard from me that I was Pamela and planned to transition! I love her to bits!


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« Last Edit: January 19, 2020, 04:54:49 pm by Pammie »

Offline JennyTG

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Re: First ever salon trip...did not go well
« Reply #16 on: January 29, 2020, 12:58:39 am »
I think I already posted this earlier but having a close relationship with my hairdresser is very important to me and she was the first non family person I came out to.
She had been giving me short back and sides for 6
years previously and for the last 5 years she has been progressing the plan she made when she first heard from me that I was Pamela and planned to transition! I love her to bits!

I only came out to my hairdresser on my visit before last, she's perfect, so thrilled I've found her.  So happy for you that you've found yours as well :)

~Jenny~
~I just wanna have fun, that's all I really want~

Pammie

Re: First ever salon trip...did not go well
« Reply #17 on: January 29, 2020, 01:25:31 pm »
I only came out to my hairdresser on my visit before last, she's perfect, so thrilled I've found her.  So happy for you that you've found yours as well :)

~Jenny~



I opened the door and the light shone in

Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: First ever salon trip...did not go well
« Reply #18 on: September 05, 2020, 08:42:08 pm »
It is important to get a good stylist.  If you are unsure where to go, check for transgender friendly hair stylists by doing Web searches, checking at transgender support organizations, LGBT+ organizations, perhaps your therapist, and friends.  If your city or a nearby one has an ULTA or Madewell store with stylists, perhaps you can call or stop by (preferred) and ask if a stylist would work with you as you transition to help you with your desired hairstyle outcomes. 

Having your own nice hair beats out a wig (except for variety, testing out styles, colors, or a different look) for everyday.

Chrissy
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that you speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: First ever salon trip...did not go well
« Reply #19 on: March 20, 2021, 06:08:51 am »
So! I've been trying to grow my hair out for a while now (duh!), and it turns out to be naturally MEGA thick. Once it got down past my ears, I went to a nearby chain store salon (Can we say brands? Not sure...) and asked one of the people there if there was something that could be done with it without removing any length. Apparently, the solution is to thin it out with these weird scissors, which she did. And that's it. I should mention here that I'm not full time yet and was in guy mode. I guess she assumed...? It wasn't until I got home to wash my hair and try some different styles that I noticed something...

It's now several inches shorter. She did exactly what I asked her NOT to do. UGH...took me months to grow that. I know it's a stupid thing to post about, but I was all kinds of excited until I got done washing it at home.

Have things improved?

Chrissy
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that you speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

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