Activism and Politics > Discrimination

Society's reaction: MTF vs. FTM

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A little context, I'm a teen FTM.  I'm only out to a few people, mostly brothers' friends.  Still deciding whether it's worth it.

Society seems to be more comfortable with trans-men than with trans-women.

No disrespect to anyone.  From what I've seen, trans-women are very beautiful, refined, confident, etc.  Is it because straight cis-guys are nervous of how attractive trans-women can be? 

Is femininity "degrading" in some way?  A rough-and-tumble girl is better tolerated then, say, a boy who enjoys nail polish and clothes-shopping.

Absolutely!  It's considered more acceptable for a woman to act like a man and vice-versa (whatever the words "man" and "woman" mean).  It all comes down to misogyny; it's considered degrading for a man to stoop to the level of a woman, as you know.  I'm not sure how into queer theory you are, but there's an amazing book you might want to read that'll shine more light on this topic than I can.  It's called Whipping Girl, written by Julia Serano; reading it really helped open my eyes to the way our culture perpetuates misogyny and transmisogyny.  It also helped me figure out my own personal gender issues a bit better.

My own personal opinion is that it's both due to the issue of a "man" stooping to the level of a woman and the idea that men are entitled to a woman's body; trans women are "tricking" men into being attracted to them.  It's a very harmful narrative I'm sure we've all seen in the past.  I have more thoughts on this, but I'm far to tired to articulate them properly!


Life as a woman sucked. I got turned down for jobs for being taken as female. If you think that was just in my mind , you are wrong, the employers told me so outright.

It made some people think I was doing this for the wrong reasons due to that.  For some there is still dome doubt. Since it was OK to look and act 'manish' in most circumstances, it was harder for others to see what I suffered from no matter how obvious it was to me.

Perhaps this post makes no sense, my ability to write what I mean is lacking.

There is a general disparagement of femininity in our society. The trappings of femininity: Jewelry, makeup, beauty) etc., are looked upon as frivolous, vain, etc. The trappings of masculinity (sports, cars, physical prowess) while just as frivolous have no such stigma. Even modern feminism praises the girl that goes into sports or wants a powerful career and is uncomfortable with the girl that plays with dolls and wants to be a mom.

We are also a very visual species. Seeing is believing. Because transguys pass visually so easily after a few rounds of T, people believe them as males. Society is also very accepting of passable trans women (Don't hear much condemnation of Janet Mock or Laverne Cox, right?), but non-passable trans women, because they "look like men" are much harder to accept.

Just my opinion, of course.

I think because we still live in a patriarchy, (feminist, I am not a terf), Transwomen are seen as 'lowering themselves to the level of women and trans men are seen, while still evil deviants, as at least going in the right direction.


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