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What can be done about relationships ruined by transition?

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Some relationships survive transition- for those lucky enough to have a partner who is bisexual, willing to stay with a partner they are no longer attracted to, or loves you enough to stick with you. Otherwise amicably or otherwise, you're both forced to go your separate ways and find new partners, regardless of how well things were going.

What can be done? Are adult transitioners doomed to have their hearts torn out and their families blown part from now until the end of time? Or is there some other way?

I'll play the Devyl's advocate.  >:-)  The transition was always thre inside the person waiting to happen.  Who's to say the relationship didn't hamper the transition rather than the other way around?  :)

Hugs, Devlyn

It depends on the person; everyone in my immediate family, except one of my sisters, supported me within a couple of months. My sister broke off all contact with me for several years, and then last year when my Mom was diagnosed with cancer, we started speaking again; we are not as close as we once were, and that damage will probably never be undone.

I'd like to think that as society becomes more accepting of transition, and as people become more understanding of why it matters and what it entails, it will at least be easier for couples to part on good terms, and perhaps stay in each other's lives. It's not unusual for couples to grow apart in all sorts of ways and either come to terms with that or find that they're better off apart; it would be nice if someone's coming out as transgender were seen as just a variation on that theme. That said, I think it will always pose problems for some: in particular, there will always be those who feel deceived or betrayed -- but I think that's mostly a matter of immaturity, and that will always be with us.

But I also think that it will become less of a problem in the future, because fewer people will be transitioning late in life. It seems to me that the large numbers of late transitioners we're seeing at present may well be a cohort effect, i.e. one that's specific to our generation and time. We've come a very long way from where we stood even 20 years ago, and there's just no comparison to what things were like when I was a "little boy" in the 50's. It's now possible for many of us to transition who just couldn't have when we were younger. I'm sure there will always be a few who take a long time to figure out that their gender identity isn't what they thought, but I think the number may well dwindle over time. The more people who are able to transition when young, the fewer of them will be in committed relationships when they do so.

now with my emotions on a different lvl, if i ever get into a relationship and its ruined by me transitioning, i would be the one who would be driven over the edge. idk, its just i since i've hardened my heart, now, i've become the exact opposite.


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