Author Topic: Pain During Sex for FtM Trans Partner, Help Please  (Read 3991 times)

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Offline OutLoudBeat

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Pain During Sex for FtM Trans Partner, Help Please
« on: August 22, 2015, 04:05:46 pm »
New poster, I found this website while looking for help for my boyfriend and I.

We started dating about 3-4 months ago, I'm non-binary (with the male bits) 21yo and he's FtM trans (pre-op, post-T) 22yo. We started becoming sexual with each other about a 1-2 months in. He has never been with anyone sexually before, and we have put off penetrative sex until now.

While there was of course emotional hurdles to make because of dysphoria, we took things slow and at his pace and he seems and says (we would talk about how he felt after every sexual experience) that he has become comfortable being touched on the genitals and has even come to enjoy being fingered a lot.

He told me earlier on that when anything goes inside, though, that the testosterone has made the vaginal walls thinner and less durable, and as a result, creates burning. When this was an issue for fingering, just trying it again every few days seemed to "strengthen" him internally, and he was able to take higher speeds, more fingers, etc.

We had sex for the first time 3 days ago, and I wasn't going for "intense passionate lovemaking", I just wanted to get it in, make sure he was comfortable, and stay inside him. I didn't go to finish either of us off, just went slowly and held him and kissed him.

He was totally fine, nice and relaxed down there, but we decided we wanted to try a different position. When I tried reentering (slowly of course), he winced, and I stopped. He tried grabbing my hips and pulling me at his own pace, but he seemed to be uncomfortable, so we decided to stop that particular time. He said it was burning a lot when I re-entered, despite having used a lot of lube.

We tried again last night. Same issue. It was fine when it went in the first time, and he was enjoying himself quite a bit, but he felt burning when we tried shifting and re-entering. He's a thicker build, so it's a little hard to stay inside while trying to roll into new places, and we would like to be able to shift around and try things, since it's a new thing for us.

Anyone know ways to deal with this? He says he feels it even with dildos and such. Is it an issue with materials? Should I use specific condoms? Certain lubes that are better for this than others? Some sort of home remedy? Things we can do to exercise him to make the feeling go away? I've looked through the internet quite a bit, and I'm not getting much on the physical aspects of post-hormone vaginal sex.