Author Topic: Worried about living non-op  (Read 3714 times)

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Offline catchingtunes

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Worried about living non-op
« on: September 23, 2015, 10:20:03 am »
I'm a transguy and although I can forsee myself coming out to friends, family, and for them to use my correct name and pronouns, I don't think I'll ever be able to fully transition physically. I might be able to go on HRT, but as for bottom surgery and top surgery, I doubt I will be able to do either of that for many reasons, financially is just one of them.

The thing is I'm really worried about the same things I think a lot of people are- about having sex with a partner, changing rooms, toilets, and about just feeling sort of disjointed with my body, like things just don't match up.

If I go on HRT I can begin to present and pass much better as a guy than I do now (which is almost never, because I have quite a stereotypically feminine face/body), but as for all the rest well...
I guess end of the day I sort of have this empty dream of never needing surgery and having a natural flat chest and penis but...since that can't happen, I have to live with what I have now. I've looked a bit into bottom surgery and although I know there can be some great results, I don't think it's possible for me and honestly I am a bit scared of the process.

I don't know, does anyone have any advice/experience living non-op? How do I tackle these worries? I just hope one day I can live how I want to and be who I want happily, both mentally/emotionally and physically.

Offline Allison Wunderland

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Re: Worried about living non-op
« Reply #1 on: September 26, 2015, 02:39:20 am »
RELAX !!! ☆☆☆

You are the same YOU as always, and always will be the SAME.

Finally at 67 I've recently come to realize that I am and always will be me, but now I no longer juggle gender. I let others juggle my gender. lmao

It's very much a political statement. Once articulated, from reading, sharing,

"Those who matter don't mind.
Those who mind don't matter."

Not enough surgical steel nor hormones in the cosmos to transcend me into the woman I aspire to. BUT I can talk about who I am and how I think/feel. It gets politico-socio-cultural.

Hormones are a delicate balance, integrated wholly with the rest of our bodies. It's not nice to tweak Mother Nature. I pray that Gender Faeries will grant my wishes! I believe in Gender Faeries more than I believe in doctors. We're not sick, or broken. Thanks all the same.

Have a look herein on this forum at "non-binary" -- Just because you don't fit on one end of the continuum, doesn't mean the other end is right for you.
« Last Edit: September 26, 2015, 11:18:03 am by Allison Wunderland »
"Let us appropriate & subvert the semiotic hegemony of the hetero-normative dyad."

"My performativity has changed since reading Dr. Judith Butler, Ph.D., Berkeley."

Offline Rhonda333

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Re: Worried about living non-op
« Reply #2 on: November 29, 2015, 02:00:43 pm »
well being non-op definately does limit your sex partners, but it also gives you options, given that eyerything still works.
I am a pre op MtF.

Offline Kathleenmarie

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Re: Worried about living non-op
« Reply #3 on: November 30, 2015, 06:05:12 pm »
My last bf was a non op ftm named max.  He didn't want surgery, he said he was a guy, he got a crew cut and dressed as a guy, insanely hot! I mean that, like insanely hot, when he got naked he had boobs and a vagina, we had sex however he wanted.  I'm saying all this to say, it's not always about what you look like, max could have been a Victoria Secret model, but he was a guy, and well, I don't know if that helps at all.  Get a Buzz cut!

Offline Vincent Johnson

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Re: Worried about living non-op
« Reply #4 on: April 27, 2016, 09:47:54 pm »
You are not alone on that subject. I tend to get anxious about the idea of possibly not being able to transition. When I feel that way, I think about the features I do like about myself. I know there isn't much sometimes, but something as simple as likeness in own fashion taste can give you a nice confidence boost.  :)
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Offline arice

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Re: Worried about living non-op
« Reply #5 on: April 27, 2016, 09:56:38 pm »
Me too. On the other hand, I've lived 37 years as a guy who happens to be female... and it has made me the person I am... bit I really wish I could wake up tomorrow with a body that matched my mind...

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Offline DebbySoufflage

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Re: Worried about living non-op
« Reply #6 on: May 05, 2019, 02:31:39 pm »
In the early beginning of my journey I worried about the consequenses of being non-op but now I am happy and secure in myself.

I had a lot of shrinkage on HRT and I don’t even have to tuck. I never have a visible bulge.

I have custom made bikinis that hide my junk just fine.
So going to a bathing house or to the pool is not even a problem for me.

Another major worry that I had was if someone would notice when using the bathroom of my identified gender. Those worries are long behind me. No one is going to come into a stall to look what genitalia one has.

Another worry I had was whether I would have difficulties in my dating life when navigation the world as a woman with a penis.
Quite the contrary.
80% of men who I tell after a 3rd or 4th date want to continue dating me, knowing full well that I am a non-operative transsexual woman. These men all identify as heterosexual. It matters more to them that I pass as an attractive woman, than what I have between the legs. I’m bottom so most men don’t care what form of intercourse we have ( anal or vaginal ) as long as they don’t have to reciprocite.


So yeah, life is good non-op.
I’m satisfied.

Offline DebbySoufflage

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Re: Worried about living non-op
« Reply #7 on: May 05, 2019, 02:36:09 pm »
In the early beginning of my journey I worried about the consequenses of being non-op but now I am happy and secure in myself.

I had a lot of shrinkage on HRT and I don’t even have to tuck. I never have a visible bulge.

I have custom made bikinis that hide my junk just fine.
So going to a bathing house or to the pool is not even a problem for me.

Another major worry that I had was if someone would notice when using the bathroom of my identified gender. Those worries are long behind me. No one is going to come into a stall to look what genitalia one has.

Another worry I had was whether I would have difficulties in my dating life when navigation the world as a woman with a penis.
Quite the contrary.
80% of men who I tell after a 3rd or 4th date want to continue dating me, knowing full well that I am a non-operative transsexual woman. These men all identify as heterosexual. It matters more to them that I pass as an attractive woman, than what I have between the legs. I’m bottom so most men don’t care what form of intercourse we have ( anal or vaginal ) as long as they don’t have to reciprocite.


So yeah, life is good non-op.
I’m satisfied.


I meant reciprocate.

Am a bit dyslexic today it seems, lol

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