Author Topic: Dating websites  (Read 1707 times)

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Offline kitten_lover

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Dating websites
« on: October 17, 2015, 10:55:29 am »
Heya

I'm a transgender woman and looking to date. I have been on more mainstream websites such as OKCupid! and Plenty of Fish and found it quite tiring to have to tell someone I'm transgender, everytime. I don't feel entirely comfortable having it on my profile, although I have before, but always feel it important to tell someone who is interested in me that this is the case. This is for two reasons: 1) I am pre-op, they would find out anyway. 2) When the other person would meet my family it's important, as I don't want my family feeling uncomfortable. So, to keep things honest and stress free, my opinion is that it's best to disclose this information to the person your dating, despite whether you pass or not.

Ok, so....I decided that the best way to find a fella, would be to go to the places where men are interested in trangender women. Now, I don't have much experience with this. I was a member on TVchix.com for about a year, my experience was: There a lot of men who have particular fetishes, and transgender/crossdressing/transvestite women who like to date others who are like them. I am not interested particularly in either. That leaves a lot of guys who I have found, secretly like to dress up themselves (again, not a trait I particularly am fond of in a guy - sorry, just my preference) or guys that cannot find a genetic female who will date them and so a transgender woman is the closest to this (I have found this to be the case with much older gents) or guys who are dom/top and are just interested in f*****g - no matter who it is with.

The above are not the type of guys I am looking for. I would like to find someone age appropriate, who can match up to the struggles I've had (coming out, transitioning etc) in terms of courage/braveness to be out and proud with their girlfriend. I know there are such guys out there, but where do I find them?

So I've had a brief look on google and typed in transgender dating websites....and google has returned the following results: tsdate.com, transgender-date.com, tgpersonals.com ...etc.

Has anybody used any of these websites? What has your experience been? What can you reccommend? Is TVchix.com still the go to for dating?

Before signing up to any one of them, I'd like to know what your thoughts are and hear some advice.

 





“The opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice…it is conformity.”                  ~ Rollo May, Man’s Search for Himself.

Offline Laura_7

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Re: Dating websites
« Reply #1 on: October 17, 2015, 11:14:23 am »
Do you have the possibility to meet people in a context not necessarily to do with dating ?

Here was a comment:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,197628.msg1757753.html#msg1757753

f you do things you like and can bring you in contact with people, you might met someone you have something in common with.
One good opportunity to meet people might be community courses for example. Its possible to ask what age group etc. usually attend.
Another possibility might be to go to lgbt places.
There are courses and events there...
or look up known lgbt meeting places...

Offline kitten_lover

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Re: Dating websites
« Reply #2 on: October 17, 2015, 11:51:27 am »
Thanks for the link, I posted my message on there...probably better seeing as a lot more more people are posting active responses.

LGBT events wouldn't really work me, unless I met a trans guy.

Evening courses and the like, hmmm...I've been on a few recently but the guys just don't have the courage to ask for your number if they're interested. I think this is somewhat the case with most girls, as guys are afraid of rejection. Which is why I believe many turn to online dating.
“The opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice…it is conformity.”                  ~ Rollo May, Man’s Search for Himself.

Offline Laura_7

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Re: Dating websites
« Reply #3 on: October 17, 2015, 12:01:56 pm »
Thanks for the link, I posted my message on there...probably better seeing as a lot more more people are posting active responses.

LGBT events wouldn't really work me, unless I met a trans guy.

Evening courses and the like, hmmm...I've been on a few recently but the guys just don't have the courage to ask for your number if they're interested. I think this is somewhat the case with most girls, as guys are afraid of rejection. Which is why I believe many turn to online dating.
i found community courses quite communicative.
You meet for months, sometimes a few times a week.
In the beginning it might be slow.
But usually people talk during breaks, and people get closer after some time.
I was in a communication skills course where people met after the course, and a pair resulted from it.

You might also get a bit more active yourself.
A remark about something you see... nice tshirt.. where did you get it from...
then talking about where you shop... where you live...

concerning lgbt places you might look for meetups.
Maybe you could find a group, and get to know people this way.

Just remember basic safety rules in the beginning.

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