Community Conversation > Military Veterans Confab

Life has gotten a lot easier for me (Military related)

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Katiepie:
So as a result of today. I am officially out to my commander, first sergeant, platoon sergeant, and squad leader.
Nobody else in the unit is aware except for three other of my peers.

So as the recap of the day has been put out, here is the meat and potatoes of the day. First it starts out with a lot of rain and work out in the rain, no big deal, just another army day as it seems. Then this is the start of where it all happens.

Formation occurs, "attention to orders, these following individuals are going to be conducting UPL (urinalysis/pee test). Of course I am on the list. I was thinking , oh great, I am definitely not dressed for this occasion at all. As I do not wear any form of male undergarments at all, and as well as underneath the uniform I do as I always do out in the civilian side of using a double bra. So as standard of having to take off the coat, I would be super visible to everyone taking the test, "graders" I mean visual spotters, as well as everyone else in the room, as well as everyone who is passing by in the halls.
So one of the guys who actually knows of my situation, I was in super low hush hush voices, and was told him I was not dressed for the occasion, and he had suggested I go talk to the commander, as he was doing it as well. So while I do really need to pee so bad it hurts, but also very very well aware that I would cause a crazy amount of stir if I were to take the coat off, I had asked my commander if I was able to speak with him in private. This was directly after he himself had finished what he had to do, and he was okay with that. So once him and I went into his office, (I was ridiculously nervous)  he had asked what exactly was going on. I first explain it had nothing to do with not test itself and had no worries about that at all,just i had a situation. At first I was really really nervous and was trying to find a talk  around to my issue at hand. But then I was sick and tired of my own nervousness, and then started out that I have a condition, much like Kaitlyn Jenner, and Chelsea Manning, as the mention of known by mostly everyone. Then I flat out threw the T bomb out there. And then a very very interesting conversation came up as I am not the first in this unit to be trans. As he has been with the unit through an earlier time as well before coming into the role of commander, and this other soldier, he mentioned, has passed onto another unit with really a great success in both transition and as well as a strong military career.
He then poses that he should get the first sergeant involved. At first I was reluctant, and told him the prime reason for the immediate talk, and told him that to deflect the current situation at hand was all I wanted to do was take off my bra, so as not to be "visible to everyone" so he was like okay, turned himself around so I can adjust myself, remove my bra, then settle back into my coat so no one would raise any suspicions. After that and tucking my bra away in his locker. I agreed to have the first sergeant come in and so it wouldn't raise any suspicious activity as there to be another witness as to not have me be a person with some sort of privilege or any deeper for something very posing as abusing the test results. But before he let the first sergeant in, we both agreed to keep it confidential between me and him, and I did mention I would eventually really soon would have to talk to the first sergeant about it. So he lets the first sergeant in, as well as I did mention that I had an issue not pertaining to the test itself. Then the commander did relieve me to go take care of that. As I was one of the last two in the room that was required to go.
Needless to say that went by so quick, and despite wearing non male underwear as well, I was able to discreetly go without having to reveal it.
So after all that was over, I quickly placed my coat back on and knocked on my commanders door to reclaim my belongings. While the doors were closed so we can chat a little more, just the way that everything was handled, was super professional on his part and I am just blown away at the support I had just received. He then also as a way of comfort had offered a hug in which I obliged. Just as the day is getting closer to what everything was going on, he also told me of this secret single stall locking bathroom that the building has. As well as exempt me front changing into the PT uniform and going out to do exercise with everyone else.
So in the sheer aspect of doing so, I walked out toward the area where everyone is exercising at, and caught up with my first sergeant walking the track by himself. With everyone else on the field in the middle. So from the conversation as per a half an hour ago, I suggested if we could walk and talk. So I told him I was going through issues, as at first shying away from just T bombing him. I started off in the way of explaining I have gender issues, and we get talking a bit , and then incorporated saying transgender. His first response to me was that he isn't educated much in the issue, but will be getting some definite reading in soon. And as well as letting me know that he sees soldiers as soldiers, nothing dealing with any form of gender. That he respects me for going to personally  talk with him, and that after mentioning about the ban lifting come may. He told me that once that hits and there is official documentation providing a three signature document. That I can just go directly to him with that either email or in hand. And that he has only seen the good qualities of what I have been doing for and with this company.

Okay before I get onto the last two positive coming outs, I want to have a brief intermission on the subject.
So on the whole way that I am trying to grow my hair out, except for the male guidelines of the army as of current, I have been so far up to date with the current guidelines as well as pushing myself at the borders of those said guidelines with minimal issue. As I know myself, my hair is technically out of regulation as I can extend it past my eyes, but as long as it is not going that way, no one has had any problems with the length of hair, especially that with the knowledge of stating 670-1 chapter 3 paragraph 2. Is all I need to say to anyone. As it states the length of hair on top just cannot be stylized faddish or overly bulky,and cannot affect the wear of military headgear, which it does not.

Anyways onto the story of my platoon sergeant. So later on after all of this happens, after everyone gets back from exercising and back to the company area, I as well come back from where our track is located as well as getting completely drenched just like everyone else. Luckily I have my field jacket so I don't get as soaked to the bone. But anyways I digress. So my platoon sergeant just asks if he can pull me aside and away from anyone so we can talk. So after final sayings for the day, but before everyone starts leaving, we both head over outside to the smoke area, which is of course cleared as such. So then he starts off with letting me know I do have a right to my own privacy, to give as much or little or even no information at all. (Background: He was originally the first sergeant when I had come back to the unit from everywhere else I been. As well he is one of the originals that I knew well from back over 5 years ago) anyways. I agree to these terms, and he tells me some private information about himself, and that people are just people, that everyone is different and changing in their own ways. So then he asks me about Kate. As that is my name on email, when I send or receive email from my account. So then I do tell him that I did receive the name way back in 2008/2009 as an unofficial standpoint, and he had also asked about when I did start realizing myself, so I did of course tell him the truth on every account, as I told him i started figuring things out back in April last year, which was about two months before I did start getting reacquainted with the unit. I let him know what he wanted to know and needed to know. He told me that if at any time I needed any help with anything, or if any other soldiers give me any issues, or anything militarily gets involved with me in any negative way, to let him know of it and he will take care of the issue himself. He said people are people, he mentioned of his gay brother, prosing a question of do I love him any less? And he was like absolutely not, that he is his family and regardless of what he does in life he is after all just human. We all are just humans, who always are just looking for to be accepted. And shown me how much support I have in him.
And sequentially, my squad leader and I had spoken of course in a way of getting away from any sort of masses and such and he was definitely positive as well, and supportive. As it stands from his point of view, he is here for my well being, and if anything is wrong or anything needs assistance he is always there as per someone I can trust.

Today was quite busy and honestly, I suppose it could have been fated to be today out of all days to just have the awareness to my commander, first sergeant and supervisors. I feel as if my stress is almost completely gone. To just be out in the open to those who need to know for my sake as per this time. I am greatly appreciative of all this support I have. I am truly blessed and amazed at how much support I have through my family, through my army family, through most of the people at my retail workplace, as well as my union rep is also aware and with the union I can sort of go by Kate with them.

Thank you for your time to read this, and thank you all for your support here at Susan's. Without this site I probably would have never been able to find my true self, or at least wouldn't have for a very long time, and would have made plenty of stupid mistakes. And even though I am pre everything. I am who I am, I am a human being, I am a woman, I am Kate!

With great love <3

Devlyn:
Big hug! This is awesome, and you are a trooper! You're fighting a battle I know you didn't sign up for.  :)

Hugs, Devlyn

KathyLauren:
Wow, what an amazing day!  Congratulations!

You chose your CO and sergeants well.   :D

stephaniec:
congrats, I would of totally freaked.

melody_elizabeth:
I know if I told anyone I was transgender years ago, I would of been kicked out, I am happy doesn't happen now days


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