Author Topic: Jumping thru hoops for acceptance  (Read 941 times)

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Offline Ajcanine

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Jumping thru hoops for acceptance
« on: May 02, 2016, 07:30:45 pm »
Hi my name is Alice I'm a 21 year old transwoman in rural Georgia and I have come out to all of my friends and immediate family. my friends are all accepting but my family is on the fence about it. The only sliver of hope is a close family friend (who is like a father figure to me) I came out to him last week while visiting him in Florida where he is doing business for an indefinite out of time. His reaction was generally positive and accepting but the only problem is that the fact that I've been seeing a therapist and gotten my letter for HRT isn't enough for him. He wants me to go to another therapist (on his dime), and one that doesn't specialize in gender. He said he just wants to be sure for my sake and happiness but this is really inconvenient. it feels like I've undone all of the progress I've made with my current therapist. I want to appease him because he is allowing me to stay in his house in a pretty progressive part of Atlanta while his in Florida for the next year+ instead of the super conservative rural areas I was raised in and would assist me in my transition if i go back to college and work part time. so I have a lot to gain and a lot to loose. I just don't want to go to a transphobic therapist that will try to talk me out of transitioning or just wasting my time hearing the same exact thing my other therapist told me.


Sorry for the rant, don't know how coherent this will actually be ^-^

Offline Dena

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Re: Jumping thru hoops for acceptance
« Reply #1 on: May 02, 2016, 07:43:09 pm »
I suggest that if you decide to visit another therapist, you be ready to correct and educate the therapist should you find they lack the training to understand what you are saying. In addition, you should have a copy of the  WPATH guidelines to refer to and pass to the therapist if needed. If the therapist isn't knowledgeable, your options are to educate or show the therapist that they are unqualified to deal with this.
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Offline Rebecca

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Re: Jumping thru hoops for acceptance
« Reply #2 on: May 03, 2016, 07:29:57 am »
Is certainly extra hoops but looks like the payoff may be worth it.
The concern angle is also nice assuming it's genuine.

Could also be nice to have them agree in the end to give further validation of who you are to anyone who doubts.
Not that you need it of course you are you no matter what but it can be used against those who need help accepting you (those you decide that are worth the effort not just anyone).

Might be a long shot but would he accept a compromise that you'll see the other therapist once you've started HRT?
After all the other therapist could cost you precious months and if his concern is genuine he shouldn't want to hurt you by making you wait longer than necessary.

Offline Ms Grace

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Re: Jumping thru hoops for acceptance
« Reply #3 on: May 03, 2016, 07:37:11 am »
Might be a long shot but would he accept a compromise that you'll see the other therapist once you've started HRT?

I second that proposal - although I'd also add that you don't need to jump through hoops to prove yourself to him... unless of course you feel you'll need something further from him and would risk alienating him by not taking up his offer.
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Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
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