Author Topic: Any suggestions?  (Read 1451 times)

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Offline Ptarus

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Any suggestions?
« on: May 04, 2016, 04:25:48 pm »
Hello all.

So, I have a friend who recently came out and told me he wanted
a sex change. Well, he's very afraid of what people might think so I came up
with the idea of crossdressing and being there with him when he makes the announcement.

This is where I need help.
Is this a dick move? I really care for my friend and I want to do anything in my power to
make his transition as smooth as possible. Im just worried that me dressing up in womens
clothes might send the wrong message.

All I want is for him to feel like he isn't alone in this.

Any suggestions are very much appreciated.

Thanks everyone(:
"just in time for nothing to matter" -Ptarus

Offline Laura_7

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Re: Any suggestions?
« Reply #1 on: May 04, 2016, 04:39:10 pm »
Here are a few resources that might be shown and might help with self acceptance:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,208438.msg1847638.html#msg1847638

It might be a good idea to dress together and have fun together.

But imo its not necessary for you to crossdress.

But it might be good they have someone when they come out.

They might also look for an experienced gender therapist to help them along.


hugs

Offline Ptarus

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Re: Any suggestions?
« Reply #2 on: May 04, 2016, 05:02:57 pm »
Here are a few resources that might be shown and might help with self acceptance:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,208438.msg1847638.html#msg1847638

It might be a good idea to dress together and have fun together.

But imo its not necessary for you to crossdress.

But it might be good they have someone when they come out.

They might also look for an experienced gender therapist to help them along.


hugs


Thankyou for the link.

Im just trying not to seem insensitive.

I live in a very homophobic place with very little to no support for lgbt community and I just want
to help support my friends.

Again, I appreciate your answer
"just in time for nothing to matter" -Ptarus

Offline Kerry30Den

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Re: Any suggestions?
« Reply #3 on: May 05, 2016, 12:28:42 pm »
That's a super sweet gesture but why do you need to cross dress if it isn't your thing? Having someone with you to help pick out clothes, makeup shoes etc is worth way more IMHO.  Going out with your friend while they are dressed (and nervous) will help a lot.  Go do normal every day things so they get comfortable being out and about as the new them.  That's an amazing gift a supportive friend can bestow

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Offline Ptarus

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Re: Any suggestions?
« Reply #4 on: May 05, 2016, 06:02:43 pm »
That's a super sweet gesture but why do you need to cross dress if it isn't your thing? Having someone with you to help pick out clothes, makeup shoes etc is worth way more IMHO.  Going out with your friend while they are dressed (and nervous) will help a lot.  Go do normal every day things so they get comfortable being out and about as the new them.  That's an amazing gift a supportive friend can bestow

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This is exactly why I was looking for suggestions.
I want to be supportive, but not in the wrong way.

I just love my friends to death, and I dont want to see them unhappy.

I appreciate your time and suggestions
Im not sure what I would do without this forum

Thankyou again!
"just in time for nothing to matter" -Ptarus

Offline Amanda_Combs

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Re: Any suggestions?
« Reply #5 on: May 06, 2016, 11:00:08 pm »
The first thing I've got to say is that you're awesome!  If you feel that Crossdressing is you, then that sounds like a great way to be supportive.  But, it's also not essential.  I think that talking with him would be a great idea; just present the idea that you would dress in solidarity, and see how he feels about that.  I'm reminded of a friend to whom I've recently revealed my gender identity.  It was the most amazing thing when he simply listened, as well as asking if I'm a lesbian and even was willing refer to me in a feminine way.  The fact that I got all that from a friend who has primarily interacted with me as guys/bros is SO much better than anything I ever expected.  So, I just want to encourage you to be that kind of friend, because in my opinion, the absolute best thing you can do is talk and listen in a way that legitimizes all of your friends feelings as well as his identity.
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Offline Kerry30Den

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Re: Any suggestions?
« Reply #6 on: May 11, 2016, 12:30:41 pm »
The first thing I've got to say is that you're awesome!  If you feel that Crossdressing is you, then that sounds like a great way to be supportive.  But, it's also not essential.  I think that talking with him would be a great idea; just present the idea that you would dress in solidarity, and see how he feels about that.  I'm reminded of a friend to whom I've recently revealed my gender identity.  It was the most amazing thing when he simply listened, as well as asking if I'm a lesbian and even was willing refer to me in a feminine way.  The fact that I got all that from a friend who has primarily interacted with me as guys/bros is SO much better than anything I ever expected.  So, I just want to encourage you to be that kind of friend, because in my opinion, the absolute best thing you can do is talk and listen in a way that legitimizes all of your friends feelings as well as his identity.

I totally agree, showing support for your friend shows that you are a great friend to have.  So often we fear what people that know us will say when we reveal ourselves.  When we get that support its an amazing feeling.  I've told a couple guy friends and their support meant the world to me. 
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Offline Ptarus

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Re: Any suggestions?
« Reply #7 on: May 11, 2016, 01:45:38 pm »
So I ended up dressing up with my friend, per his request.
It went great, his parents told him they loved him forever.

And they love me too! Haha

Im totally into dressing up now, its exilerating
"just in time for nothing to matter" -Ptarus

Offline SueNZ

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Re: Any suggestions?
« Reply #8 on: May 11, 2016, 03:12:17 pm »
So I ended up dressing up with my friend, per his request.
It went great, his parents told him they loved him forever.

And they love me too! Haha

Im totally into dressing up now, its exilerating
Maybe your offer had a hidden desire but you were to nervous to say that you also would like to dress up for you.
Really glad you did and good luck with your journey.
Treat life's difficult times as if they are normal moments, this makes the normal and special ones even more fantastic.

Tags: coming out Help Friends