Topic: Style Schizophrenia

[aaajjj55]

As a guy, I'm usually casually dressed - jeans and an open necked shirt - and hardly ever wear suits and/or ties.  In contrast, my feminine aspirations are to be glamorous and I like nothing better than a smart skirt/trouser suit or dress & jacket with heels.

I do wonder whether my gender confusion is effectively causing me to subconsciously push away from the traditional signs of maleness?

What do you think?  Do you have similar issues?

[cheryl reeves]

Shorts and t-shirts in the summer,unless need to dress up and then it's jeans and a nice dress shirt,winter jeans and t-shirts or jeans and dress shirt,havent wore a suit in 38 yrs. I love dresses or skirts and dressing up,but only can do the whole thing every once in awhile.

[GiGi LaMore]

Amanda,

I feel very much the same way. I have been wearing suits for over 20 years now but have never really felt the sense of "power" or maleness that is supposed to come with wearing a suit. I view it as nothing more than a uniform or dress code which I have to comply with that comes with working in my profession. In fact, I don't think I have ever been "impressed" by another male in a so-called power suit.

However, I have always been impressed by and attracted to a woman in a tailored business skirt suit, smart blouse/skirt/jacket combination or designer dresser in heels. Indeed, I am drawn to wanting to wear what I find most attractive on other women, this also includes very feminine undergarments such as corsets, garter belts, stockings and pretty underwear. I think this can also manifest itself in wanting to shave our legs etc, as it creates both a feminine look but also a feeling of femininity.

I don't believe this is our subconscious pushing us away from the traditional signs of maleness rather it is a focus on what we find intrinsically attractive and therefore what we aspire to emulate. I often feel that I don't care what I look like dressed as a man because I am doing it because that is what others expect, yet I care deeply about how I look dressed as a woman because I am doing it for myself.

Love GiGi xx

[aaajjj55]

I don't believe this is our subconscious pushing us away from the traditional signs of maleness rather it is a focus on what we find intrinsically attractive and therefore what we aspire to emulate.

I agree with you about wanting to emulate what we find intrinsically attractive.  However, what intrigues me is why we don't want to dress similarly in our male lives.  After all, if we were trying to attract this sort of lady as a potential partner, we would without doubt feeling that dressing in a similar way (albeit the male version) would help the cause.  And yet all three of us who have participated in this thread prefer casual clothes (and you made the very pertinent point that wearing a male suit is no more than a uniform to comply with professional requirements).

As I said, I find it fascinating that we aspire to emulate the polar opposite of what we are!

Amanda

[Daria67]

When I dressed 'male' I cared not a whit for my appearance. I wore cheap ill-fitting jeans and plain hemp t-shirts (I bought like six of them on sale). My wardrobe looked like Fred Flintstone's. I would get my hair cut twice a year; in late-spring and in mid-December.

NOW...

I am becoming to get obsessed about putting together coordinated outfits, and as I am very new to this, it isn't easy but, DAMN, is it fun!

[BirlPower]

I'm another who's male persona is jeans and t-shirts but I only dress casual en femme if I'm doing DIY about the house. Otherwise it is pretty dresses or skirt suits. Partly I think it is exploring the options of female attire. For guys, even the smartest outfits are pretty boring compared to the options available to women. I have many more options to express myself when presenting female. I also think that I'm making up for lost time, trying all the things I missed out on when younger. This means I sometimes dress way too young for my age. Not really a problem when knocking about the house and I have plenty of more appropriate outfits if I ever work up the courage to venture out.

I do venture out presenting ambiguously. Female trousers and blouse, nail polish etc. Oddly this presentation often sits in between the scruffy male and the immaculate female, i.e. smart casual. Hadn't realised that until this thread. I find that quite interesting but I don't know what it means.

B

[Anne Blake]

I love to provide a counterpoint to a discussion. My guy mode varied with the situation. I do love the simplicity of a pair of jeans and a T shirt or long sleeved Henley depending upon the season. But I also like to dress for the occasion. Most times work accepted the casual engineer but meetings or travel brought out the slacks and button down. My favorite time to shine as a guy was with and for my wife. Nothing too over the top, casual denims or slacks and a button down and comfortable sports coat, with tie when appropriate. It made me feel great because it made her happy! But guys stuff is just plain boring. Anne loves the boho look, colors to either contrast or compliment, accessories are both fun and a must. And of course the jewelry. I still dress to please my wife whether it be dinner out in guy mode, sharp yet casual, or letting Anne run free. My wife loves it either way.

[chris.deee]

I'm in the same boat as GiGi.  I'm attracted to powerful women and find myself dressing as one.

As a guy, I only venture beyond tees and jeans or shorts when I'm going somewhere fancy with my wife. 

Lately though, when we are getting dressed up, I would prefer going out as a woman. Partially because I prefer the ritual of getting dressed, partially because how women are treated in those situations, and partially because I have a much more vast wordrobe of women's clothing. 

As for the power dynamic of men's clothing, my personal experience hasn't shown a correlation to suits and power or wealth.  I realize the contradiction between this and how I started the post. 

That has me thinking...

[GiGi LaMore]

As for the power dynamic of men's clothing, my personal experience hasn't shown a correlation to suits and power or wealth.  I realize the contradiction between this and how I started the post. 

That has me thinking...

I think the dynamic between suits and power/wealth dates back 100 years or so where those in the professional services or business would differentiate themselves from the blue collar workers by wearing bespoke suits. For most, the cost of acquiring a suit was out of reach, even if they wanted to create the illusion of being more wealthy.

In today's society, wealthy men like Mark Zuckerberg or hedge funds managers are eschewing wearing suits in favour of jeans and t-shirts, almost to say "I'm so wealthy, that I don't have to conform to the ideal of being seen in a suit". Plus the fact that suits are now so affordable that anyone can buy one, so it is no longer a indicator of power and wealth.

So I'm not sure if this is a generational shift or if it relates back to Amanda's original post as to why we, in male mode, dress casually yet aspire to wear the glamorous feminine clothes of women we find attractive. Also, if we want to attract those sort of women as a potential partner in our lives, why aren't why dressing in such a way that they would find attractive??

My thoughts are that perhaps we are mistaking our attraction as sexual when in fact we don't want to be with them, we simply want to be them....and so we are less concerned as to how we appear in male mode but are very particular in how we appear in female mode.

[V]

I must be doing something wrong, my guy attire was jeans and t-shirts. My female attire is now jeans and t-shirts. Except at work, then it's blouses and trousers.
When I first transitioned, I used to dress in many fabulous outfits and styles and colours. I loved it, and had a huge wardrobe of lovely clothes. Women at work would often come up to me and ask how I dared to dress like that at work. Lots of dresses and skirts and heels and lots of lovely boots. I loved my boots.
Somewhere along the way, all that tailed off, and nowadays I only wear something nice very occasionally. It doesn't help that my boyfriend hates it when I wear tights or stockings or leggings. He also says I have terrible legs and shouldn't show them. Recently he has been saying that I should cover up my shoulders too, because my broad shoulders don't pass very well. So he's increased my paranoia about my appearance, whereas years ago I'd be bold and enjoy it. I am a lot older now, and I guess he just wants me to dress more age-appropriately, and a lot more conservatively.
Life eh...

[aaajjj55]

My thoughts are that perhaps we are mistaking our attraction as sexual when in fact we don't want to be with them, we simply want to be them

I agree.  In fact I think I was always a bit scared of attempting any form of romantic advance - sort of 'what do I do if she says 'yes'' combined with 'what do I do if she says 'no''!  It was far easier to have the pretty ones as friends and I do think there was a strong element of wanting to be a part of their world.

Amanda