Author Topic: Thinking out loud  (Read 36185 times)

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Offline Maid Marion

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Re: Thinking out loud
« Reply #380 on: July 25, 2018, 08:37:00 pm »

It kind of hit me all of a sudden that whilst I had taken care of a heap of things in my transition I had not taken care of the thing I could have the most control over and would cost me nothing...my current body shape. Once I realised I had to remove the layers of accumulated weight before HRT can have a chance to put any new fat gains to the right places I found the spark of an idea of what I needed to do. Once the seed was planted and I looked at my body shape carefully and tried to imagine being 25 kgs lighter than I am now I realised that I could easily have a much more feminine shape simply by dropping the excess weight I carried...apart from all the other health benefits.  :D  Liz

This is what I do.  How many middle aged GGs have a head of salt and pepper hair and a 26 inch waist line?  And the nicely toned arms and legs to go with that? ;D

Offline Drexy/Drex

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Re: Thinking out loud
« Reply #381 on: July 26, 2018, 04:24:08 pm »
Hi Liz thanks for your encouragement , yes that is so true and one day I would like to wear something nice , so it must be done ....I did my first walk on the treadmill in the gym this morning...4am ...1km...😊
80% diet 20% exercise 😉
Keep on Liz I'm following your progress and your effort has got me.off my chuff 👍

Marion true 😉
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Offline LizK

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Re: Thinking out loud
« Reply #382 on: July 27, 2018, 12:54:27 am »
Hi Liz thanks for your encouragement , yes that is so true and one day I would like to wear something nice , so it must be done ....I did my first walk on the treadmill in the gym this morning...4am ...1km...😊
80% diet 20% exercise 😉
Keep on Liz I'm following your progress and your effort has got me.off my chuff 👍

Marion true 😉

GOOOOOO Drexy get those hips moving girl!!!

1km is a great start.... you can build yourself up slowly from there I have no doubt you will be able to successfully challenge yourself to do a bit better each time and before you know it you will be 10ks.

Keep  up the great work

Keep on walking

Liz
Transition Begun 25 September 2015
HRT since 17 May 2016,
Fulltime from 8 March 2017,
GCS 4 December 2018
Voice Surgery 01 February 2019

Offline Drexy/Drex

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Re: Thinking out loud
« Reply #383 on: July 27, 2018, 04:57:47 am »
 ;) ;)
Yes one step at a time Liz
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Offline Drexy/Drex

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Re: Thinking out loud
« Reply #384 on: July 27, 2018, 07:48:05 am »
Sitting around the table at lunch a couple of mates decided to have some fun with me ...or my expense 🙄 first up was have you been biting anything you shouldn't ? I thought that was a reference to my silver canines...so I said like concrete ? ....duh ...Drexy....he said I mean like pillows.,....have to admit he got me a good one there ...then a couple more gayish diatribes
Before saying ....give you 5 years and You're turn up dressed like Caitlyn Jenner( really that long ? )...who's that I asked innocently ? ....you know ....Bruce Jenner .... I said who's Bruce Jenner ? frustrated he replied you know the cardasian guy who became a woman ! ....oh I said ....how about that with a smirk on my face lol......but the thing was their humour was not malicious....just designed for a laugh,..didn't bother me in the slightest....I just wish they would stop being so coy  ...and pop the question....I'm sure when we doing a month on at work with a week off it would have happened as after 13 days we got a day off so. That night everyone gets smashed  but now with only a straight 14 days and then break we don't haven't time to and it's 000 at work on the breatho so no party's.....
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Offline LizK

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Re: Thinking out loud
« Reply #385 on: July 27, 2018, 07:53:01 pm »
Sitting around the table at lunch a couple of mates decided to have some fun with me ...or my expense 🙄 first up was have you been biting anything you shouldn't ? I thought that was a reference to my silver canines...so I said like concrete ? ....duh ...Drexy....he said I mean like pillows.,....have to admit he got me a good one there ...then a couple more gayish diatribes
Before saying ....give you 5 years and You're turn up dressed like Caitlyn Jenner( really that long ? )...who's that I asked innocently ? ....you know ....Bruce Jenner .... I said who's Bruce Jenner ? frustrated he replied you know the cardasian guy who became a woman ! ....oh I said ....how about that with a smirk on my face lol......but the thing was their humour was not malicious....just designed for a laugh,..didn't bother me in the slightest....I just wish they would stop being so coy  ...and pop the question....I'm sure when we doing a month on at work with a week off it would have happened as after 13 days we got a day off so. That night everyone gets smashed  but now with only a straight 14 days and then break we don't haven't time to and it's 000 at work on the breatho so no party's.....

You should take a selfie....kind of like your avatar and just leave it sitting on the table in the wetmess. Say nothing...and if shown, marvel along wondering who the person was. If that doesn't push one of them over the top to have to ask if its you then nothing will LOL How long do you think you will play with them or is "coming out" on site a particularly bad idea? I am sure with the progress you are making keeping stealth is going to become even more difficult as time progresses.

Take care

Liz
Transition Begun 25 September 2015
HRT since 17 May 2016,
Fulltime from 8 March 2017,
GCS 4 December 2018
Voice Surgery 01 February 2019

Offline Drexy/Drex

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Re: Thinking out loud
« Reply #386 on: July 28, 2018, 04:38:07 am »
That's an interesting Idea Liz😁 .....about coming out in camp I don't know if it's the right time I would like to make a good job of it if I do🤔
I'd like my body to feminise more there's been a bit of progress but only  being a year in ....
true though it will become harder to stealth as time goes on ...
Hmmm same guy tried to tweak one of my moobies as he got on the bus ....good thing I had some documents in that pocket 😏 ha during his attempt he knocked his head on the Aircon
I shouldn't have but pissed myself laughing
Well second day at the gym ....tried some push up....the lack of t is definitely Kicking....omg...I struggled to do 10! ....
markie could do 100 in 3 mins ....
But it's good if you know what I mean 😉
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Offline charizard

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Re: Thinking out loud
« Reply #387 on: July 28, 2018, 05:10:57 am »
ha during his attempt he knocked his head on the Aircon
>:-) That's hilarious haha. Good strategic document placement!

Offline Drexy/Drex

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Re: Thinking out loud
« Reply #388 on: July 28, 2018, 05:57:17 pm »
Just to tack onto that last comment  I made in response  to your  idea Liz... I guess  if I am to do this I want people to know I am transgender.. Not a Transvestite  or crossdresser or Drag Queen so I guess I'm looking  to be passable but I feel I have to go gently rather than just blurt it out
My doc reckons that after a while people will unconciously See Me as female and begin to treat  me as such to a degree,  something  is definitely  going on though I catch a lot of men looking at me and some females too,  I don't know whether it's my eyes or the silver teeth or all the jewelry I wear
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Offline JudiBlueEyes

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Re: Thinking out loud
« Reply #389 on: July 28, 2018, 06:09:48 pm »
Drexy I think your doctor is correct that the change in perception from others will evolve, probably sooner than later from what you've written.  Going gently as you note will signal your serious intent, not that the other pursuits you list aren't serious also.   Giving the right vibes when speaking to others will go a long way towards people seeing and treating you as you wish.   You got it sister! 
Judi 
But now old friends they're acting strange
They shake their heads, they say I've changed
Well something's lost, but something's gained
In living every day.

Offline LizK

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Re: Thinking out loud
« Reply #390 on: July 28, 2018, 07:09:12 pm »
Just to tack onto that last comment  I made in response  to your  idea Liz... I guess  if I am to do this I want people to know I am transgender.. Not a Transvestite  or crossdresser or Drag Queen so I guess I'm looking  to be passable but I feel I have to go gently rather than just blurt it out
My doc reckons that after a while people will unconciously See Me as female and begin to treat  me as such to a degree,  something  is definitely  going on though I catch a lot of men looking at me and some females too,  I don't know whether it's my eyes or the silver teeth or all the jewelry I wear

Ummmmm Drexy my dear, maybe what you are experiencing is what is commonly known as "male fail"  and that is why you are attracting so much attention. maybe its because you are now androgynous enough in appearance for them to wonder.

I really was just being silly about the photograph in the wetmess but I think you need to try and get some input into what is being said about you. I don't know how you do that but I would guess since your return from holidays and your dramatic changes it is not surprising if the rumour mill is running overtime. I certainly agree with your comment about getting the message right. You are going to the best judge of how to get your message across and even then I am sure you will have to deal some who will never understand.

take care

Liz
Transition Begun 25 September 2015
HRT since 17 May 2016,
Fulltime from 8 March 2017,
GCS 4 December 2018
Voice Surgery 01 February 2019

Offline Drexy/Drex

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Re: Thinking out loud
« Reply #391 on: July 28, 2018, 10:10:17 pm »
Thanks for the vote of confidence Judi.... Yes it's true about the right mode of communication..... so far as I can observe  mine is a lot softer than it used to and more playful so if I go with the flow .....Hmmmmm😉

Liz I never ever thought  about that!!!  holy smoke it makes sense.... 😯
It is perplexing  not quite as cut and dried as I thought... however  " Softly, softly, catchee monkey."
I made it to 1.5 kms didn't feel like it.... but then I thought about you and kept going..... damm 8km is massive 👏
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Offline LizK

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Re: Thinking out loud
« Reply #392 on: July 29, 2018, 03:50:35 am »
Thanks for the vote of confidence Judi.... Yes it's true about the right mode of communication..... so far as I can observe  mine is a lot softer than it used to and more playful so if I go with the flow .....Hmmmmm

Liz I never ever thought  about that!!!  holy smoke it makes sense....
It is perplexing  not quite as cut and dried as I thought... however  " Softly, softly, catchee monkey."
I made it to 1.5 kms didn't feel like it.... but then I thought about you and kept going..... damm 8km is massive

as the saying goes "A journey of 10,000 miles starts with a single step"

Take care

Liz
Transition Begun 25 September 2015
HRT since 17 May 2016,
Fulltime from 8 March 2017,
GCS 4 December 2018
Voice Surgery 01 February 2019

Offline Drexy/Drex

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Re: Thinking out loud
« Reply #393 on: August 02, 2018, 10:17:21 pm »
I went to the wet mess the other night and decided not to wear the   compression singlet under my t-shirt....I have another open front short sleeve shirt that I wear over the t shirt anyway I went on up and my crew was on one table and the superintendent and all the supervisors on another.... everyone stared at me 😳 my good mate studiously
Avoided me but after a few drinks came over and chatted..... meanwhile I suddenly found my mobile very interesting and fired off a pm to Liz  needless to say no more no compression singlet....but these looks from guys and some chicks have been going on since I got up to camp and now we've had to move out of camp into accommodation in a mining town temporarily... same deal I never fail to get stared at not like hard stares but stares all the same  specially in the public bar of the town pub ...up at  the mining mess as I walked in this tall guy with a beard gave me a friendly warm smile.....guys don't smile like that at each other .....
So Liz's male fail might be quite correct
Well I hope it is
Out of the 2 women vying for me the brunette has started to work on me she's  suggested dinner and drinks ....🙄.. she's attractive with a great personality and I do like her...it's so hard to find a partner in this industry what with the time away from the city.... she's a truck op like me so it would be great...and finally I have the emotional depth to be able to return another's affection.
But I'll have to tell her ,I thought maybe I'll just show her the photos or show her the photos and say that's my girlfriend if I don't want to go through with it ... however maybe  she just wants some company...which an easy request to fullfil
Mind you it's been the first time I've seen my body in a full length mirror for about 12 months ....when my doc told me my body was made for hrt he wasn't kidding ...infact my male bits look out of place somehow.
 I have fat to lose though and it will be rewarding when I do ....hell I'm so surprised I just didn't think it was possible for me 🤔 not ready for a bikini but it's still female looking...
Starting to notice the erosion of male privilege little things like for instance the guys that used to be in awe or fear of me are now quite cocky and it seems that I'm not supposed to get smart back to them bit one sided I think
 alternatively other guys are much more friendly one in particular an alternative type .....whew what a head trip it's a unique perspective transitioning in this environment ....if anything it should proof me for the real world....
I'm beginning to wonder if I am 100% female and not just non binary......how odd🤨


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Offline Satinjoy

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Re: Thinking out loud
« Reply #394 on: August 02, 2018, 10:27:06 pm »
Roller coaster ride...wow.

Kinda saying hi here on your thread.

:)
Morpheus: This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the red pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the little blue pills - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes

Sh'e took the little blue ones.

Offline Drexy/Drex

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Re: Thinking out loud
« Reply #395 on: August 03, 2018, 12:30:54 am »
Hi Satin😘
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Offline Laurie

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Re: Thinking out loud
« Reply #396 on: August 03, 2018, 01:00:41 am »
Hi Drexy,

  Oh this is getting interesting. I can't wait to see how you work out these new life experiences. It sounds like you are getting hit by all kinds of reactions from all kinds of different directions. We can have another real life saga in the works like we have with @Alaskan Danielle . Perhaps another story line for a new soap opera or reality TV show. At any rate I'm going to the kitchen to make some buttered popcorn.

 We eagerly await more of your story.

Hugs,
   Laurie
April 13, 2019 switched to estradiol valerate
December 20, 2018    Referral sent to OHSU Dr Dugi  for vaginoplasty consult
December 10, 2018    Second Letter VA Psychiatric Practical nurse
November 15, 2018    First letter from VA therapist
May 11, 2018 I am Laurie Jeanette Wickwire
May   3, 2018 Submitted name change forms
Aug 26, 2017 another increase in estradiol
Jun  26, 2017 Last day in male attire That's full time I guess
May 20, 2017 doubled estradiol
May 18, 2017 started electrolysis
Dec   4, 2016 Started estradiol and spironolactone




Offline LizK

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Re: Thinking out loud
« Reply #397 on: August 03, 2018, 04:36:50 am »
…..if anything it should proof me for the real world.
I'm beginning to wonder if I am 100% female and not just non binary......how odd

And if that turned out to be the case that would be fine as well. I don't know of too many environments less compatible with transition that the one you are in. If you wanted to pick a tough industry to transition in I think FIFO is possibly one of the toughest. I applaud your courage and tenacity.


Hoipe the Woman whos is shopwing interest in you is understanding of who you are...she may be straight but that could work out too.


Take care

Liz
Transition Begun 25 September 2015
HRT since 17 May 2016,
Fulltime from 8 March 2017,
GCS 4 December 2018
Voice Surgery 01 February 2019

Offline Drexy/Drex

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Re: Thinking out loud
« Reply #398 on: August 03, 2018, 04:06:16 pm »
Oh yes for sure Laurie 😁 in happens in crib and drabs
I
Thx  Liz Yes I  guess ...I hope so I guess I'll let it develope .....mmmm the blonde and the brunette we're at the frtn of the bus conversing.... blondie giving me furtive glances ....wonder what they're up to 😯
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Offline Satinjoy

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Re: Thinking out loud
« Reply #399 on: August 03, 2018, 04:22:38 pm »
Hi Satin😘

awwwww.

Hi back and hugs.
Morpheus: This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the red pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the little blue pills - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes

Sh'e took the little blue ones.

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