Author Topic: Thinking out loud  (Read 8117 times)

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Offline markie

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Re: Thinking out loud
« Reply #60 on: February 23, 2017, 06:26:36 pm »
Good taste in a non binary androgynous  way
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Offline markie

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Re: Thinking out loud
« Reply #61 on: February 24, 2017, 08:55:54 pm »
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Offline ElizabethK

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Re: Thinking out loud
« Reply #62 on: February 25, 2017, 02:56:18 am »
https://youtube.com/watch?v=PcAw0u60_Bg

Only made me tear up this time, Last time I saw it I   :icon_cry2:... I guess you call that progress :D

Liz
"You have the right to live an authentic life!"Alex Jolly

Transition Begun 25 September 2015
HRT since 17 May 2016
Fulltime from 8 March 2017

Offline markie

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Re: Thinking out loud
« Reply #63 on: February 25, 2017, 06:24:32 pm »
Well that's healthy..  I mean free emotion that is that's the great  thing about being female you express them
I can't find the link but there was a canadian girl who posted  her FFS experience
Which in her father took her to the hospital and the interaction between  them had me. fighting back tears in public  place I was so touched by it
This too makes me. emotional  but it shows how far things have come naturally  it's a. European production
Their attitudes  are more  cosmopolitan
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Offline markie

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Re: Thinking out loud
« Reply #64 on: March 05, 2017, 10:27:10 pm »
So in the mess last night I joined a table  and the conversation  some how  turned to  transgender  as one woman recounted  her experiences  in a small town as a hair dresser  where a couple of transgender residents  would come in and get their eyebrows  hair done  etc ,she  mentioned  about facial hair whereupon a guy said how dedicated  you'd  have to be to to get rid of it,  she then went on to talk about how thick skinned they must be to live openly  in a small country  town
Then another girl mentioned  that there was a transgender  worker on a project  she had previously  worked  on
and was amazed that anyone like that would pick Fifo life she said that she felt sorry for her because of the other workers not there was any harassment  but was impressed  that she could be strong  enough  to handle it, I then said it would  take a lot of  courage... which every body at the table agreed with
then one guy said it'd  be a different  story if you went to jail... I looked at him and said... well you'd just have to find yourself a man : ) which is true even if your male if you're  vulnerable you need protection  so better you pick then be preyed upon
Next top the wetmess and guess what the subject at the bar was I had to make sure the difference  between  transgender  and TV was known.... Lol I feel like I must have branded on my head... I'm always  thinking about it.... Well I am anyway 24/7  but for the moment  I'm  just fence sitting watching the success of others waiting thinking
for a time when I will finish my virtual  FFS.... But  something  that haunts me is at another job before I even realised about myself my coworker  girlfriend  one day just out of the blue said to me "you know it's OK to be gay" I think the way she said it made it one of the kindest things anyone had ever said to me, but then next day we were walking  to our trucks and it was like she had an epiphany  and turned and blurted out to me " don't become  a woman  ..you'd make an ugly  woman!! I thought  at the time what a strange  thing to say I didn't  think any more of it at the time and I didn't  think to ask her why she said that.... So strange ! Perplexing now though and what with the people  around  me consistantly mentioning my size strength  etc blah blah and my gender therapist pointing my masculinity and woman hitting on me ... maybe it's a message from life.... In the end I don't want to look like some hideous  representation  of whatever.... So maybe androgynous  partial FFS... it would  at have to be an improvement  on now..
so when I can bite the bullet  and get the photos ... done I never thought  I would  feel such a repulsion  and shame to doing that ....now I know how many others have felt or feel.. hah this fence is quite comfy..
And the blocker I've  been taking  is working  ...breast tissue  already... Lucky I haven't  taken estrogen  yet.. I new my body would be very responsive... but did not expect  anything  so quick it's weird though one side hurts more than the other..
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Offline markie

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Re: Thinking out loud
« Reply #65 on: March 06, 2017, 06:21:05 pm »
Even  stranger.... at the wetness last night I joined  a table. with some of my crew and some of the hospitality camp crew tight fit was sitting  next to a gay fella.. he's  not the only one in the camp but he,s open about it
anyway again the conversation  went round to transgender  topic and he told us about how he dated  a transman
a very handsome  one at that too,  that really  got everyones attention  then someone mentioned  something  about me. and girls stuff joking of course and I just laughed  it off....then the gay guy  turns to me and says I think you'd look pretty  dressed up.... Lol😂 well there was a fair bit of booze floating around but we weren't  legless
However it's great t to see how times have changed  and people  Are so much more broad minded
In fact a while ago some knuckle  dragger was slagging of gay fellas at the wetness  and one of the Supervisors
got up and said that there was no problems  with it and if two guys wanted to get together  then fair enough  as their not hurting  anyone... I must admit  I work with a great crew out here in the middle of no where... makes life  much easier  ...these places  your work mates become like family.... we all look out for each other at work... work hard party  hard
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Offline markie

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Re: Thinking out loud
« Reply #66 on: March 08, 2017, 05:18:48 pm »
Life loves to play games... this morning  at the mess during breakfast  my mate asks me if I had seen the new
Hospitality  girl,  I said no.. he said tall big "t-ts" bolt on,s he said  was a bit crass but we are in the bush and I did see her... and she's  a transgirl very attractive  walks right smiles nice.... she will be popular.... how do I know.... takes one to know one  💐😄hope I get to meet  her.
« Last Edit: March 09, 2017, 01:52:48 am by markie »
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Offline markie

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Re: Thinking out loud
« Reply #67 on: March 11, 2017, 08:13:49 pm »
being  curious  I asked my friend  behind the bar who were the 2 dark haired new girls were she didn't  know
and then r the guy who's sweet on me turned up so Michelle asked him as he works in a different  area anyway
he knew and immediately  said oh that's  so and so and she's  a man which made me bristle  somewhat as I see her as female anyway  he's  gay and should know better,  but he's  in the know and said she's  very pretty  and does modelling and has something  like 30000 followers  on instagram  !!
He couldn't  understand. why she's  up here as the money is so low now in their industry  now the boom is over same in my industry  2
Hmm so now I guess  he'll  tell her I was asking  about  them... first time I saw her early in the morning  at breakfast  she sat a.little.way down from me and out of the corner  of my eye I noticed she did a double take look at me. then went back to eating maybe wary of me as look somewhat  intimidating  ho  hum such is life
second time she sat at a table in front of me facing her co worker who is shorter and abit older.... and watching her face I could see some transphobia and a whole lot of envy which is not surprising  as our girl is very very attractive,  tall,  great body and the most beautiful  head of Raven black locks running down her back
anyway they look after another  smaller camp nearby so what with travel and work etc probably  won't see much of her which is a pity though I think I might be shy and over awed in the presence  of such a stellar exsample of success
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Offline markie

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Re: Thinking out loud
« Reply #68 on: March 14, 2017, 12:51:49 am »
Sooo walking to the mess this morning  this new person cut across in front of me... long black hair tall slim and what I would  describe  as femmine  hips... I couldnt  tell  whether  boy or girl
then at prestart same person there now either they are the most androgynous  person I have ever seen or I could  swear it's a mtf transitioning  as their skin has that soft Hrt hue certainly  that person has the right qualities to make good
Hmm seems  if i won't go to life... life will come to me hmmm what the odds
Maybe life is just taunting  me or maybe I'm  taunting  me
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Online SadieBlake

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Re: Thinking out loud
« Reply #69 on: March 15, 2017, 04:19:32 pm »
Dunno Markie, I know an awful lot of trans women and men and I have to say I have never read an mtf who essentially passed and I've mistakenly read a couple of cis females as mtf (not that I ever asked, just learned about my wrong estimate as I got to know people over more time and their stories were clearly not those of trans women).

I know you're new to this and that will be bringing it to the forefront of your thinking, I suggest letting it go. People are usually happier being taken at face value. Just my $0.02

Offline markie

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Re: Thinking out loud
« Reply #70 on: March 17, 2017, 08:35:04 am »
Yes i agree i go out of way not to be obvious  and i would never want to make anyone uncomfortable
maybe something akin to projection  on my behalf
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Offline markie

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Re: Thinking out loud
« Reply #71 on: March 24, 2017, 11:19:29 pm »
Met my first Transman the other night , yes up nere in the middle of nowhere 1500kms from perth ,  its been pouring up here so we were in the wetmess  playing up as there would be no work the next day  due to site conditions
Anyway nice guy drank and joked around with us   no haters in our  crew ...its progress  and a win for the lgbt  community  as it becoming  a common sight now  and   every one is totally accepting
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Offline markie

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Re: Thinking out loud
« Reply #72 on: April 27, 2017, 09:10:22 am »
So today was a good day I'm  on r&r  first stop 5th lazer body hair removal , first time at this clinic fantastic  ppricing 449$ for complete body and they did my face for free
Technician  was lovely  over the 2 or so hours we talked about  a variety of topics , eventually  I told her why I was doing the lazer and she said she had thought so as she picked up on it when I had requested  my face be done
Anyway it's great liberating  to be able to talk openly  to someone  you just met
Next stop local needle exchange  it's where I go to get my hrt kits for free and also to see the nurse they have there as she was able to get my last blood tests which show I no longer  have the hep c virus so the treatment  worked,  I had to go through  her as my r&r dates did not coincide  with the hospital  appointment  dates so this was the way to handle that
so today went back to get hep a&b vaccine shots for free so during discussing my test Hrt I mentioned  I was gradually  cutting it down in preparation  for estrogen which then led into me coming out to her... and she remarked  that she had noticed there was something  different  about me first time she met me as I was very masculine  but was softly  spoken and had a peaceful  space about me not a blokey type representation
So we had a nice conversation  I told her about my dramas with  my perception  of the psychs evaluation  of me
and she recommended  I find someone  more positive
as I was leaving  she said she had been observing  me and she could See Me as female and it all made sense   I was so happy  for her comments was high all day  a very positive  experience next stop traditional  Chinese  massage  where they walk up and down your back etc..... Put my back, back it place after a couple  of weeks of
Next stop my fave adult store, got talking to the girl behind  the counter  she spoke of how she likednher job there as she could  be herself and met and had interesting  conversations  with people  so I told her what I was up to
and she was impressed  and very interested in my plans she said she was pan sexual and was was attracted  to people's personalities  not body's looks etc which I am too,  so after a few months of basically  misery the clouds finally evaporated  and now my purpose  is revitalised
I know as a female I look a train wreck but surgery and hormones  will fix that,  so all in a break day came out to 3perfect strangers  and got nothing  but admiration  and positive  affirmations 😹
Oh and I decided to try crossdressing  and during  my online window shopping  I gradually  found how much I love female clothing I really  love it all the different  styles etc
I bought myself  some Goth attire which is my taste... Lol nothing fitted when it arrived bit I sent it back and got some replacements  that did.. Lol me leggings  and a mini skirt  looks good though as long as I out apart bag over my head.... So lookng forward to going to an LGBT night club...final part of wardrobe are a set of custom  made Spanish  boots.... it seems that I am finally Coming out to myself in increments.... I can't describe  how good it feels 😊
« Last Edit: May 13, 2017, 05:07:02 am by markie »
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Offline markie

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Re: Thinking out loud
« Reply #73 on: May 13, 2017, 05:08:32 am »
Wow the lazer is finally working  won't be long now,  then I will start my hrt trial...
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Offline ElizabethK

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Re: Thinking out loud
« Reply #74 on: May 13, 2017, 05:28:00 am »
Wow the lazer is finally working  won't be long now,  then I will start my hrt trial...

So you are getting the works...whole body and face? Good to hear you are happy with the results... :)
"You have the right to live an authentic life!"Alex Jolly

Transition Begun 25 September 2015
HRT since 17 May 2016
Fulltime from 8 March 2017

Offline markie

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Re: Thinking out loud
« Reply #75 on: May 17, 2017, 09:39:08 am »
Yes I'm  impressed  with how effective  it is  after thinking  nothing  was going to happen  yep getting  the works all body and face... Leaving  a landing strip though lol😉
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Offline markie

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Re: Thinking out loud
« Reply #76 on: May 19, 2017, 05:12:05 am »
Got directed to a wig shop in Perth,  as I was browsing  their web site one of their chat staff started a dialogue  with me,  I explained  I was male... She asked me of I was a cross dresser or "changing " : ) we had a nice chat.. Then went to the place.... Got  a fitted wig  during this the assistant  was telling me they get a lot of cross dressers and tg people  in there so it was a nice. postive  experience left with some makeup  too
I'm really  starg to warm to wearing. female clothing  ...its not. a fetish.... I. Just seem to like it
Last stop cosmetics  shop to get some black lipstick girl there was really  cool and when I had what I wanted she smiled  and said good luck with that women are so gracious towards me when they realise  what I'm doing
I love women they are so wonderful
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Offline markie

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Re: Thinking out loud
« Reply #77 on: June 09, 2017, 01:54:08 am »
Met a tg girl told her my story  she strongly  recommended her doc who she said had a great deal of exp  with tg
People,  totally  took me by surprise  ...no dramatics recognized  me instantly,  I just have to make one visit to his recommended psychiatrist get the tick of approval  and then the flood gates will be opened
for me straight  onto transition  dose..... I'm amazed 😀
..me on the way back toned down my macho dress standard  for appointment  😂  a bit I guess
still look like crap. but that will change  now

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Offline ElizabethK

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Re: Thinking out loud
« Reply #78 on: June 09, 2017, 04:04:39 am »
Met a tg girl told her my story  she strongly  recommended her doc who she said had a great deal of exp  with tg
People,  totally  took me by surprise  ...no dramatics recognized  me instantly,  I just have to make one visit to his recommended psychiatrist get the tick of approval  and then the flood gates will be opened
for me straight  onto transition  dose..... I'm amazed 😀
..me on the way back toned down my macho dress standard  for appointment  😂  a bit I guess
still look like crap. but that will change  now



Markie that is great I am so happy you are moving along in a direction that you are happy with. Its been awhile for you
"You have the right to live an authentic life!"Alex Jolly

Transition Begun 25 September 2015
HRT since 17 May 2016
Fulltime from 8 March 2017

Offline markie

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Re: Thinking out loud
« Reply #79 on: June 10, 2017, 07:54:13 am »
Thx Liz  yes it has mainly, due to me lol but now ive  removed  the  self imposed  blocks
The best thing is no bs with this doc just straight  down the line
He actually said it was a pity I had not been caught at 15yrs old..... When  I got home and thought  about that I shed a  few tears  ,
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