Author Topic: Can we talk about inner beauty?  (Read 1550 times)

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Sandboxed

Can we talk about inner beauty?
« on: October 14, 2016, 03:01:39 am »
I've read quite a few posts lately from some women here that talk about physical traits being a big factor in passing.
It's true and I totally get it.
But there is another aspect of our selves that is so beautiful, and it's the female energy that comes from within us. :)
When I'm happy or content, it shows in my appearance, in my mannerisms, and my voice.
I know it's a big factor in passing because when I'm not listening to my body or when I'm thinking negatively, it shows in the mirror.
I see it in other women too, they have this glowing aura of feminine energy when they don't even realize it sometimes! it's because they are happy and confident and 'in the zone' and it's irresistible   :)

What are your thoughts?

Offline warlockmaker

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Re: Can we talk about inner beauty?
« Reply #1 on: October 14, 2016, 03:50:09 am »
The greatest gift is my mental change. The T brought out my agressive and egoistical personality and supressed my empathy.

Today, I am at peace and I'm a bhuddist and working hard to supress my ego. I love my griends and am loved so much in return. I love my life and see it as a blessing to live two lives in a lifetime.

Passing as what I am and living in Bangkok is irralevant. I am a TG, proud and positive, I inform all those that I get close with of this. I am blessed and ever so grateful for my life.
When we first start our journey the perception and moral values all dramatically change in wonderment. As we evolve further it all becomes normal again but the journey has changed us forever.

SRS January 21st,  2558 (Buddhist calander), 2015

Offline Sophia Sage

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Re: Can we talk about inner beauty?
« Reply #2 on: October 14, 2016, 08:54:11 am »
"Female energy" doesn't really describe it, I fear.  I mean, I get where you're trying to go, but it might help to get to the nitty gritty of what "inner beauty" actually is, how we develop it in ourselves and how we see it in others.

Quote
OLDER AMY: All those boys chasing me, but it was only ever Rory. Why was that?

YOUNGER AMY: You know when sometimes you meet someone so beautiful, and then you actually talk to them, and five minutes later they're as dull as a brick? Then there's other people, and you meet them and think, "Not bad, they're okay." And then you get to know them, and their face just sort of becomes them, like their personality's written all over it. And they just turn into something so beautiful.

BOTH: Rory's the most beautiful man I've ever met.


In the Doctor Who episode The Girl Who Waited, there's exactly this discussion of the difference between outer beauty and inner beauty. It takes place between two versions of Amy Pond, one who is about 60 years old after waiting around a barren medical facility, and her earlier self from thirty-six years previously, who is startlingly and stunningly beautiful in her physical appearance.  They talk about their husband Rory, who is barely average in physical looks, but whose personality they agree is "beautiful."  The whole episode ends beautifully when Older Amy sacrifices herself for the younger couple.

So what makes us beautiful in this spiritual sense?  It's an important question, I think, because for all I go on about the material reality of assimilating, transition is ultimately a spiritual journey (after all, our interiority is really all we have to go on).

"Happy, content, in the zone," as Sandboxed put it, and "working hard to suppress my ego" as Warlockmaker says, and I agree with both.  What we find beautiful in other people is their ability to make other people happy.  This takes a form of egolessness.  This "selflessness" is necessary for effectively engaging our empathy -- we focus on how other people are feeling, not ourselves. Which means, ironically, we can't be obsessed with how we ourselves are coming across, about whether we're "passing" or not. Self-consciousness isn't congruent with selflessness. For me, rectifying my physicality was a prerequisite for letting go of that self-consciousness.

Physical transition isn't the end of the process, it's only the beginning.  Then the real work begins.
What you look forward to has already come, but you do not recognize it.

Offline Amy Chislett

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Re: Can we talk about inner beauty?
« Reply #3 on: October 15, 2016, 06:31:41 am »
I think I might have some depression which hinders me getting in the zone.  I sometimes equate inner beauty with those who simply love home.  That may seem nonsensical.  Sometimes I get into the 'if I think I'm with aura , then others will see thru it'.
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Offline JoanneB

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Re: Can we talk about inner beauty?
« Reply #4 on: October 15, 2016, 07:10:49 am »
I've read quite a few posts lately from some women here that talk about physical traits being a big factor in passing.
It's true and I totally get it.
But there is another aspect of our selves that is so beautiful, and it's the female energy that comes from within us. :)
When I'm happy or content, it shows in my appearance, in my mannerisms, and my voice.
I know it's a big factor in passing because when I'm not listening to my body or when I'm thinking negatively, it shows in the mirror.
I see it in other women too, they have this glowing aura of feminine energy when they don't even realize it sometimes! it's because they are happy and confident and 'in the zone' and it's irresistible   :)

What are your thoughts?
Back some 30 years plus years ago I experimented with transitioning... twice, several years apart. Both times utter fails. Both times and for much of the ensuing  years it did not matter that I always felt I should have been born a girl. All I ever saw on the outside was "Some Guy in a Dress". I never accepted that I was really really trans and settled on being just a CD

Only after I came to fully accept I am trans and began the hard work of fixing myself from the inside, to change how I thought of myself, to loose the shame and guilt, to learn better ways to feel and be a trans person in my life as a male; did suddenly came the day of feeling shear joy being out in the real world as the real me. I was amply rewarded for the hard work of changing how I was on the inside.

That experienced proved that working on inner me was worth all the hard work. It gave me the energy, the drive to let more and more of the inner me free, no matter how I was presenting. Being the real me, in even small ways, was far better, gave me more joy, then trying to live up to some version of me I convinced myself others wanted to see. Some may say I became selfish about it. I began doing, being, living for me, and not for and up what they all wanted, or I thought they did.

Though I still present primarily as male, mirrors are now my friend. Hardly ever do I not see joy filled vibrant Joanne looking back at me. Only when the GD is hitting me hard do I see "That Sad Old Man" in the mirror.
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Offline barbie

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Re: Can we talk about inner beauty?
« Reply #5 on: October 15, 2016, 07:55:44 am »
I see myself as a woman through my little daughter. She is cute and pretty, but very aggressive and masculine, exactly like me. My friends also tend to be surprised at her masculinity. She is a kind of alpha girl. Students at my university also tend to be surprised at my aggressiveness, as they first assume that I would be very feminine in teaching based on my appearance.

I do not think we have to impose any stereotype of woman on ourselves. All people are different, both internally and externally.

barbie~~
Just do it.

Offline EmilyAlyssa

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Re: Can we talk about inner beauty?
« Reply #6 on: October 16, 2016, 08:04:00 pm »
Here's my take on this. I think a part of what makes many of us "us" is the inner femininity that, until we decide to transition, we keep mostly locked away in some dark corner of our minds. The inner beauty is there, within us, and we let it out, we let it breathe, a little at a time by making our transition. By changing our physical characteristics, we better align the outside with the inside. As a result, our inner beauty  begins to really shine and we blossom as the women we always were. The physical changes give us the confidence...we give ourselves greater leeway to BE who we always were - the women we are on the inside. :)
My name is Alyssa. Emily was my name for myself when I was a teen. Why did I make Emily part of my username? To remind myself that everything I am now is because of everything I have gone through up to this point.

Offline Sephirah

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Re: Can we talk about inner beauty?
« Reply #7 on: October 17, 2016, 03:22:21 pm »
When I'm happy or content, it shows in my appearance, in my mannerisms, and my voice.

Acceptance of self. It's something incredibly hard for people who don't struggle with this, to understand. Such a simple little thing. Something taken for granted. But something which, when one has it, allows the freedom to just BE.

90% of the time we go through life wondering and fretting. How others see us. How we see ourselves. Whether we come across how we want to come across. Our attention is turned inward. Criticising, measuring, holding ourselves to standards we very rarely meet.

People are beautiful creatures. With so much to offer. And when one can look outward, and offer it, that's when the magic happens. Inner beauty is only inner while we ourselves hold us back. While the worry and stress and "what if" is there. When you can just be, you can just be awesome. With no regrets.

Aim for that. It's worth aiming for.
Natura nihil frustra facit.

Offline DawnOday

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Re: Can we talk about inner beauty?
« Reply #8 on: October 17, 2016, 05:08:17 pm »
After being on HRT for 2 months, I don't feel any different in terms of how i look or how I expect to look. Very minor physical changes yet . Except the serenity of being at peace with myself. Not always being on the defense. No longer at odds with my longings. I weigh my words instead of blurting out the first thing that comes to mind, usually hurtful. Most of all it is like being true to myself has taken the weight of the world off my back and put it in the rear view mirror.
Dawn Oday

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First indication I was different- 1956 kindergarten
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Offline Mariah

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Re: Can we talk about inner beauty?
« Reply #9 on: October 17, 2016, 05:13:37 pm »
Totally agree. Our inner energy and beauty really shows in our actions and everything about us. It true though that those inter qualities I have noticed are what make the difference of when I have and haven't past.  Hugs
Mariah
I've read quite a few posts lately from some women here that talk about physical traits being a big factor in passing.
It's true and I totally get it.
But there is another aspect of our selves that is so beautiful, and it's the female energy that comes from within us. :)
When I'm happy or content, it shows in my appearance, in my mannerisms, and my voice.
I know it's a big factor in passing because when I'm not listening to my body or when I'm thinking negatively, it shows in the mirror.
I see it in other women too, they have this glowing aura of feminine energy when they don't even realize it sometimes! it's because they are happy and confident and 'in the zone' and it's irresistible   :)

What are your thoughts?
If you have any questions, please feel free to ask me.
mariah2014@susans.org
I am also spouse of genderfluid person.

Sandboxed

Re: Can we talk about inner beauty?
« Reply #10 on: October 17, 2016, 05:37:30 pm »
Acceptance of self. It's something incredibly hard for people who don't struggle with this, to understand. Such a simple little thing. Something taken for granted. But something which, when one has it, allows the freedom to just BE.

90% of the time we go through life wondering and fretting. How others see us. How we see ourselves. Whether we come across how we want to come across. Our attention is turned inward. Criticising, measuring, holding ourselves to standards we very rarely meet.

People are beautiful creatures. With so much to offer. And when one can look outward, and offer it, that's when the magic happens. Inner beauty is only inner while we ourselves hold us back. While the worry and stress and "what if" is there. When you can just be, you can just be awesome. With no regrets.

Aim for that. It's worth aiming for.
Wow thank you, I never thought about it this way!

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Offline bluepaint

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Re: Can we talk about inner beauty?
« Reply #11 on: October 17, 2016, 05:42:57 pm »
This subject was certainly worth discussing and I was fortunate to have been able to read what some of you expressed above and I found it refreshing and inspiring! Its is beautiful (in the real sense of the word) when one can look further than just ones outer shell and see that the person within is beautiful and special!
Not everyone can look inside and see beauty. some are not able to see further than themselves physically simply bc they are shallow to start with, maybe bc they were blessed with being more attractive than the average and their self worth comes predominately from the praise and attention they receive from others instead of within themselves and they can become uninteresting as individuals as a result This doesn't mean that physical attractiveness and inner attractiveness cannot coexist,  it often comes from the value system that person possesses, often parents will try to encourage young people to depend more on their inner selves than to depend on looks alone thereby giving them better self worth in general.
Let me leave you with something you might find interesting when your pondering beauty in itself? As an classically trained artist, I was trained in seeing visual beauty in all of nature not only human proportions ect.. and there are certain rules that govern what pleases the eye, would you be surprised if I told you that physical qualities we consider as "attractive" in a person are identical in both men and women? Sexual visual cues are expressed differently and this is probably where we as trans women or men tend to be more physically concerned since they are societies's way to differentiate between the two and defines attractiveness in that regard but "beauty"? no not really, thats why some will look more "sexy" but might not really be beautiful , inside or out!



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Sandboxed

Re: Can we talk about inner beauty?
« Reply #12 on: October 17, 2016, 06:01:33 pm »
Bluepaint: that's very interesting indeed!

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Sandboxed

Re: Can we talk about inner beauty?
« Reply #13 on: October 17, 2016, 06:10:56 pm »
Thank you everyone who responded to this. My intention was to spread positive energy and a message of hope for anyone struggling to accept themselves. I've been there.

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