Activism and Politics > Discrimination

Need assistance with employment experiences both good and bad

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Raell:
Yes, Karen, I agree about dressing appropriately.

I have two transwomen friends, who are just starting to live as female at 60+ years old.
Unfortunately, they seem to think women dress like porn stars to go to the mailbox, and seem obsessed with spike five inch heels and outrageously revealing clothing, despite their height and weight.

I found that nothing I say influences them at all, even when I beg them to look at the cis women around them, including their wives, but they don't see it, keep bragging about finally getting to be like a woman and wear seven inch red nails.

karenpayneoregon:
Hi Raell,

If you have tried multiple times and they don't heed your advice then there is not much you can do. Sadly this paints the wrong picture for those who are attempting to fit in and live a normal life.

Lily Rose:

--- Quote from: karenpayneoregon on November 11, 2016, 05:24:06 am ---The event was in my mind very successful. After we finished a handful of people came up to me and chatted all in a positive manner.

--- End quote ---

   that is great and congratulations! i do look up to women like yourself.  ::)




--- Quote from: Raell on November 15, 2016, 04:59:17 am ---they seem to think women dress like porn stars to go to the mailbox,

--- End quote ---

  kinda get a laugh out of this. personally a pair of pink lace panties would go along way for me to feel like myself, but if someone says plain old cotton is the way to go. does that make me wrong? granted i would not walk to the mailbox in only said panties, but i say whatever floats their boat. can only assume if they get to vulgar the police will eventually show up.

Raell:
What concerned me about the ladies who want to dress like porn stars is that their obsession is to "fit in" and be accepted by cis women. If they are simply doing what makes them happy, relieving dysphoria, or if they are in showbiz or the porn industry, those clothes would be appropriate, but probably only at work.

Another thing they did was to constantly buy extremely sexual Victoria's Secret undergarments and obsessively talk about it, even put pictures of these items on their Facebook pages, calling them "panties."

I don't know any cis women who obsess about lacy, revealing lingerie. Instead, they only wear such things to please their partners on special occasions, then switch back to comfortable cotton clothing. I have only heard men call women's underwear "panties."

Most of the way they talk about women's clothing and underwear is as though those things excite them. I don't know any cis women who are sexually aroused by underwear or clothing. It's just something they wear. Any racy clothing is worn simply to please romantic partners.

I no longer say anything to them, though. I'm going to assume their extreme behavior is from excitement at expressing themselves in a feminine way and that as they attend trans support groups, they will tone down a bit and be able to enter the mainstream.

Michelle_P:
I think it might be the excitement and novelty of being a 'new girl' that produces this extreme behavior.  They finally feel free to be themselves, and after a long period of being repressed, they've shot out there and slightly missed the mark.

Eventually they may realize the dress and behavior isn't really appropriate and they'll settle down.  From what I've seen this phase doesn't last in most transgender folks beyond the infrequent cross-dressers.

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