Author Topic: Hi, need advice about situation.  (Read 4018 times)

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Offline SkylarFox98

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Re: Hi, need advice about situation.
« Reply #40 on: April 10, 2017, 03:27:02 pm »
Hi Jennifer. In terms of not telling family about being trans, I'm on the same boat. I was thinking of going into cyber security but creating skins for models has been a passion for the past month so I'm thinking of going into game design. Here's what my mom said after I got home from school today. "You think you can pull a fast one on me? As soon as I'm better, we're going to talk about this day after day, week after week, and month after month." She even annoys her parents about religion, no wonder they don't call us much. My transguy friend is planning on getting an apartment with me between summer and before the end of the year. If that happens, I'll just come out on Facebook (will probably have to block a lot of people) then start HRT. I do forgive people but if they don't change their ways, then it doesn't do much. Well sadly my area of living is heavily red so starting a local thing may be hard but the college I have in mind does have a LGBT club that I plan to join. Thanks and same for you too. I may not always be on but if you do PM me, I'll try to respond whenever possible.

Offline Jacqueline

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Re: Hi, need advice about situation.
« Reply #41 on: April 12, 2017, 04:07:01 am »
Skylar,

Congratulations on telling them. That is a tough brave thing to have done.  Sorry your Mom is kind of coming  back at you. Stay as strong as you can.

Don't know where you are looking for schools but Champlain College in Burlington, Vt has very well respected game design and cyber security programs. It's also not far from Montreal with one of the larger gaming communities and cons. They also have a very liberal stance on their LGBTQ+ students.

I have not been on in a while (due to work) but am glad to see your progress.

Warmly,

Joanna
1st Therapy: February 2015
First Endo visit & HRT StartJanuary 29, 2016
Jacqueline from Joanna July 18, 2017



Offline SkylarFox98

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Re: Hi, need advice about situation.
« Reply #42 on: April 13, 2017, 07:18:51 pm »
Thanks and on Monday stuff was getting really out of hand so I had to apologize only to ease the stressful atmosphere. Well since then I've noticed something, everytime they do something nice for me, they now have bargains and deals attached to them even though I haven't have them any grief since Monday. It stresses me out and if I do this apartment plan, I may have to put off college for another year or two. Or live on campus but then my friend may get sent away to a government place cause of him being in a foster system and I rather not see that happen to him, he's the only trans person I know in person and is very resourceful and helpful for me. Yeah I'm bit half and half, cyber security is a great and expanding field but game design is something that I feel passionate about and sometimes working on texture projects can relief my stress (not always but it helps) I never did fly on a plane before, I don't live in Vermont but I do live in the north east but thanks for the suggestion, I'll check them out.

Offline SkylarFox98

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Re: Hi, need advice about situation.
« Reply #43 on: April 18, 2017, 08:25:41 pm »
Ok I feel that I'm at a crossroads and unsure of which path to take.

1: Move out with transguy friend (and possibly my gf) into an apartment.
 -Pros: Get to see a therapist then start HRT, be free from harassment (mostly)
 -Cons: Financially, college may be an issue and might have to put if off a year.

2: Live on campus at a college
 -Pros: Away from home, can start HRT, meet new people and visit new places
 -Cons: If my transguy friend fails to get an apartment, he may get sent to a government run place and stuff (I'm not sure what all he said but I know he wouldn't like it and I would miss him)

3: Wait two more years to move out (Rather not do this, like at all)
 -Pros: Save money....but if I'm not happy, then what good does that do?
 -Cons: (May be a long list) Deal with my parents, not start, still hide, anxities may worsen, depression will probably worsen to, they'll probably be on me about religion and stuff, and I feel this list can go on and on.

If anyone can help me decide and also tell more pros and cons of each, I'll appreciate it. This wasn't my original plan after high school but if I can move out and start my life, then I feel I should take this.

Offline SkylarFox98

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Re: Hi, need advice about situation.
« Reply #44 on: May 04, 2017, 04:38:09 pm »
Well looks like the apartment plan won't work out. I mean two years from now once i graduate college, have a car, and get a job, sure it'll work out well. But now with my gf and I not having our cars nor jobs and my friend wants to do this plan next month, it's getting unrealistic. My parent's financial situation is worse so but at least I'm still going to college and they have a PRIDE club like I said. I guess patience and more patience will get me to my goal. I'm not on here often, just come to post my thoughts and also get help with situations. But not all has been bad here, last time I went to the mall with my gf I bought inserts for my bras :) So worth it since I'm not on HRT yet and also bought another pair of panties.

Offline Jacqueline

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Re: Hi, need advice about situation.
« Reply #45 on: May 16, 2017, 12:35:23 pm »
Skyler,

I have been pulled away at work a lot so not on so often lately, myself.  College is great. It is a good place to start working through things. Depending on the campus or proximity to a planned parenthood, you might have easy ways of getting therapy and potentially HRT.

It is hard to be patient. Once you start on this path, it seems harder. However, it is a long slow waiting game to go from one step to the next. The upside, (as you discovered) is that each step can seem small but feel so big.

Good luck,

Warmly,

Joanna
1st Therapy: February 2015
First Endo visit & HRT StartJanuary 29, 2016
Jacqueline from Joanna July 18, 2017



Offline elkie-t

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Re: Hi, need advice about situation.
« Reply #46 on: June 13, 2017, 08:08:00 pm »
Well looks like the apartment plan won't work out. I mean two years from now once i graduate college, have a car, and get a job, sure it'll work out well. But now with my gf and I not having our cars nor jobs and my friend wants to do this plan next month, it's getting unrealistic. My parent's financial situation is worse so but at least I'm still going to college and they have a PRIDE club like I said. I guess patience and more patience will get me to my goal. I'm not on here often, just come to post my thoughts and also get help with situations. But not all has been bad here, last time I went to the mall with my gf I bought inserts for my bras :) So worth it since I'm not on HRT yet and also bought another pair of panties.

Hi Skylar, I hope you graduated all right. You're in a very difficult position, as all of us who have non-supportive parents or partners.
Basically, I read all of your posts here and wanted to comment on a few.

a) You need to get a job. The sooner the better, it can be even a part-time one.
b) You can learn to program computer language and build web-sites / mobile apps without any college and degree and start earning money ASAP.
c) You can get hired by big organizations without any college degree as easy as if you have a degree. I work at a national bank, and we hired 2 guys who self-educated (and they were hired before in other places). Once you get your first job and do your work, no one will remember whether you had a degree or not...

So, degree is nice, but your young years now are precious. If you don't transition now, it would be much more to do later in life.And if you get into college, and your parents get a wind of your transitioning (they will see you quite often, you cannot hide hormones forever), they could possibly cut your financial support, and you might ruin your credit, etc.

My reasoning is, you must start building financially independent now. The sooner, the better. Not in 2 years after college. See if you can learn programming and building web-sites by yourself, if not - get into sales maybe? If nothing else, you always can join US Army and come out to army psychologist after you finish your basic training.... (btw, _very_ good option, there are many cis-girls serving our country in US Army, immediate independence from your parents, free education and other benefits later in life, nice savings build-up, free medical insurance and traansition paid by the government ...)

Or start part-time job, save some cash to move out asap to your own place and apply for medicaid (hopefully it covers HRT at least)

But there must be some sense of urgency for you, you're still growing, testosterone still makes your body more and more male. It would be more difficult to reverse it later (face hairs, for instance).

Eli

 
 

Offline SkylarFox98

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Re: Hi, need advice about situation.
« Reply #47 on: June 18, 2017, 06:49:52 am »
Hi Joanna, sorry that I haven't been on myself as often. The last weeks of school and early June were so busy for me (so many appointments, then the one cat I had for 9 years passed away before graduation, got 2 kittens, graduation practice, and then graduation itself)

Hi Eli, thanks for the advice. I still don't have my driver's license and my second permit expires next month. It may be till Fall or winter that I may get it at this rate. I was looking into online jobs that I can do from home. I'm afraid the Army isn't the best route for me (not fit whatsoever, I can't handle stress, and at this rate politically, who knows if those benefits would still exist in the future) Well I did grow a mustache at 12 and then a beard at 13 (guess I'm an early bloomer)

Well as much as I didn't like the idea but in a way it'll have it's own benefits but I'm waiting a year or two to start college. I was talking to the business office at this college and they were saying that in two years, they may give people who live across the state border IN STATE tuition (which is literally half the price of out of state, I really dislike the idea of having loans) and my parents' financial situation is really crappy but now I can focus on driving, take care of my two kittens, get an online job, and work more on my projects. My gf may be getting an apartment in the Fall so that'll be nice for her.


Offline Jacqueline

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Re: Hi, need advice about situation.
« Reply #48 on: July 11, 2017, 04:18:55 pm »
Skylar,

I have been pulled off the site for over a month (due to work). Looks like things are coming into focus. I would only caution you not to get to comfortable that you forget or never get to college. Good luck and congratulations on graduating.

I hope your parent's front is easing up some too.

Good luck on the job search. Don't lose hope.

Warmly,

Joanna
1st Therapy: February 2015
First Endo visit & HRT StartJanuary 29, 2016
Jacqueline from Joanna July 18, 2017



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