Author Topic: The question of choice?  (Read 1065 times)

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Offline Tessa James

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Re: The question of choice?
« Reply #20 on: February 17, 2017, 01:03:01 pm »
At the present time we have arrived with our biologically and socialized predispositions in place.  From here we can and do adapt with feelings and actions that suggest choices going forward.  We can choose to see ourselves without shame, guilt or limitations.

For previous generations there may have seemed no choices but to stay in the proverbial closet.  Being out about sexual orientation and gender identity are relatively recent phenomena.  My father's family was one of many that had secrets never told.  We often found out more of the truth about folks posthumously.  I looked for help from professional folks to no avail in the 80s and 90s and was prepared to die as a lie.

It is having real options and knowledge that now gives us a sense of choice.  The options have expanded significantly in terms of social, medical and surgical methods for living our lives openly with dignity and congruence as we assert ownership of our lives and leave the hive mind behind.....buh bye now busy bees ;D
Open, out and evolving queer trans woman with HRT support since March 13, 2013

Offline Shy

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Re: The question of choice?
« Reply #21 on: February 18, 2017, 03:39:36 am »
At the present time we have arrived with our biologically and socialized predispositions in place.  From here we can and do adapt with feelings and actions that suggest choices going forward.  We can choose to see ourselves without shame, guilt or limitations.

For previous generations there may have seemed no choices but to stay in the proverbial closet.  Being out about sexual orientation and gender identity are relatively recent phenomena.  My father's family was one of many that had secrets never told.  We often found out more of the truth about folks posthumously.  I looked for help from professional folks to no avail in the 80s and 90s and was prepared to die as a lie.

It is having real options and knowledge that now gives us a sense of choice.  The options have expanded significantly in terms of social, medical and surgical methods for living our lives openly with dignity and congruence as we assert ownership of our lives and leave the hive mind behind.....buh bye now busy bees ;D

Socialised Predisposition sums things up perfectly for me, thanks Tesse.
Having grown up in a time of no hope and now seeing the tables slowly turning. It's hard to comprehend sometimes that things can change.
I do struggle with choices for myself, I suppose it's that I had essentially given up hope a long time ago.
So bit by bit i'm changing my thought processes and becoming acclimatised to the modern age. Exciting times!

Thanks for your thoughts:)

shy

Offline JoanneB

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Re: The question of choice?
« Reply #22 on: February 18, 2017, 08:21:59 am »
Socialised Predisposition sums things up perfectly for me, thanks Tesse.
Having grown up in a time of no hope and now seeing the tables slowly turning. It's hard to comprehend sometimes that things can change.
I do struggle with choices for myself, I suppose it's that I had essentially given up hope a long time ago.
So bit by bit i'm changing my thought processes and becoming acclimatised to the modern age. Exciting times!

Thanks for your thoughts:)

shy
Having 2 failed transition experiments over and done with by 1980-81, today's environment is like an alternate universe in comparison. Yes, there is still an amazing amount acceptable transphobia and trans bashing (Want block buster ratings for your TV show, haul out a T or the tranny jokes) which does reflect the popular mindset when away from the PC police.

We still have a very long way to go
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Offline Shy

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Re: The question of choice?
« Reply #23 on: February 18, 2017, 05:35:21 pm »
Having 2 failed transition experiments over and done with by 1980-81, today's environment is like an alternate universe in comparison. Yes, there is still an amazing amount acceptable transphobia and trans bashing (Want block buster ratings for your TV show, haul out a T or the tranny jokes) which does reflect the popular mindset when away from the PC police.

We still have a very long way to go

Yes, I've done the trans hokey cokey at various stages of my life. ;D

To be honest I haven't experienced any negative reactions since I started full time this year. Quite the opposite really.

Offline Obfuskatie

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Re: The question of choice?
« Reply #24 on: February 19, 2017, 04:49:14 am »
I've spent a lot of time going back and forth with this myself. Part of the problem is that I feel like I haven't had a choice in a lot of ways, especially when it comes to being trans and needing to be seen and treated as myself, a woman who just happens to also be trans.

I think our choices come into play when we are deciding how &a when to come out, transition, our new clothing style, etc.. The choices are smaller in a lot of ways, but my choice to transition was mostly just my survival instincts kicking in. I knew after hitting bottom that the only way I could go was up. I figured I'd try before I gave up on everything.


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Offline Shy

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Re: The question of choice?
« Reply #25 on: February 19, 2017, 05:54:32 am »
I've spent a lot of time going back and forth with this myself. Part of the problem is that I feel like I haven't had a choice in a lot of ways, especially when it comes to being trans and needing to be seen and treated as myself, a woman who just happens to also be trans.

I think our choices come into play when we are deciding how &a when to come out, transition, our new clothing style, etc.. The choices are smaller in a lot of ways, but my choice to transition was mostly just my survival instincts kicking in. I knew after hitting bottom that the only way I could go was up. I figured I'd try before I gave up on everything.

Thanks Katie :)

I can empathise totally, bing transexual was never a choice for me, it just is and always has been my default.
 
I suppose the negative choices come flooding in when you try to disguise and hide from a world that mostly sees a binary gender and accepts little else. From there it's a slow downward spiral to the basement of lost hopes.
I guess that's the crisis point for many of us as there's nowhere else to go, all avenues have been exhausted. That's certainly has been the case for me.
 It's early days for me yet though, but i'm finding a strength and courage I never knew I had. Negative choices are being challenged and replace with positive action. It feels like a turning point in my life. :)

Thanks for your thoughts

Shy
 

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